Well otsay was long, but it sure wasn't as boring as it normally is. I woke up at 10 this morning, which was really nice, I really need to wake up late in the morning if I'm going to be happy for the rest of the day. Isabel and I are talking on the computer a lot, I even found out from her that people call Ian Somerhalder Ian Smolderhotter, he is hot though, freakishly hot. He is 32, and he looks so young! I really can't wait for Vampire Diaries to start again, it will just make my days from school so much bette. We were actually talking about school today, and I started worrying again about where to wait for my mom to come and fetch me, that is why I want Ruth to come and wait with me, so we all end up happy, Ruth wlaks down with Zoe and waits with her for me, and we walk down together so mom can come fetch us, it's really a win win. But my mom said that she is probably going to fetch Ruth for the first few days, which completely ruins my plans and gets me to start being nervous all over again. I just hate how new it's going to be, I don't want to be one of those people who really struggle at school. What really worries me the most is that I might not be in the same class as my friends, what if I'm in a class with only weitzman girls and a bunch of other boys I don't even know? I know my friends and I would definitely drift further away, maybe not completely, but we definitely won't be as close. I hope I'm in a class with Isabel, she would make everything so much more easier for me. Today we went to get lunch which felt like such a long time, even though we were actually supposed to go see a movie (that was pretty much the disappointment). I watched a fricken amazing movie today, I think it has become one of my favourite movies. It's called "The Soloist" and it is just such a good movie, it's a little bit like August Rush, only it's rated 16. I just loved it, and I actually rarely love a lot of movies, and it even has a huge part to do with music. I just love it so much, so now if I had to pick 3 of my favourite movies, it would be Pink Floyd The Wall, The Soloist and August Rush (doesn't have to be in that order) I just love those movies so much, they make me want to cry just hearing about them. Those are the type of movies that inspire you to dedicate more of your time to music, and to really see what is going on in this world around us... poverty, racism, illness and drugs and all that, it just makes me so sad to see people like that.Well, it really was an amazing movie. Anyway, David phoned me again today, but this time only once. I guess I'm actually lucky we didn't go see the movie, if we had, I would have had to wait until Monday to see The Soloist. Anyway, tonight my sisters and I were just chilling and listenign to music, we first listened to their Glee CD and then we listened to my CD, it was pretty cool. I like it when we don't watch TV or anything and we just sit around listening to music, especially when Ruth is hyper, she is so funny. What I really hated about today was the fact that Emily was playing my guitar, I couldn't even watch her I got so angry, I was practically breaking all of the things in my room, I never knew that my guitar was that important to me, but it is and she needs to respect that. I was just so angry I was litterally shaking, oh well, I just need to say no the next time. Well I am pretty tired right now so I'm going to head off to bed, good morning (it's like 12 now).

So today was pretty cool, although I did find out that my hips are out of allignment. Oh well, we can't have everything go right can we? Anyway, I had an amazing sleep last night, and I woke up at an amazing time. I did wake up once before the nice time, and I could have sworn it said 18:00 when I woke up, but maybe it was just a delusion, or maybe I was just having one of those extremely realistic dreams. So I woke up, ate breakfast and headed off to Grand West to go ice-skating. It was actually a lot mor fun than I though it woul be, the only bad thing was that my hips started to hurt really badly, and I got too sore to carry on, but I guess I had had enough of it anyway. After ice-skating, we went to the arcade games and I won a lot of tickets, only playing the game thing when you put the coin in so that it pushes the other coins down the thing so you can get tickets, I probably didn't explain that properly, but oh well, it's not like any of you people know what I'm talking aobut half the time. When we came back, I watched Pink Floyd The Wall again, but this time with my sisters and my mom. I skipped out the gross or inappropriate parts. I can't believe that my sisters didn't like it, my mom said she enjoyed it, but I'm not entirely convinced she did. At least I know for sure that my dad liked it. I hope they don't think I only like the movie because of the music, there is so much more to it, like the racism and the antisemiteism, and the depression and the amazing graphics and the brilliant illustration, and the whole story line. I just love it all, and I'll bet that my parents think I am just one of those other people who don't understand a thing about amazing movies like those. I guess I don't really have to provce anything to them, if I know I understand it, I know I understand it. Anyway, I am just - Haha, David Hendry just phoned me! He was like "Why are you still awake?" and I was like " Why are YOU still awake?" He has phoned me about 4 times today, isn't that sweet? I know he likes me, well, he told me. I hate it when people say "He likes me" and I say "How do you know?" and they say "It's so obvious". If they don't tell you, it's really not obvious!!! Anyway, I don't know if I like David yet, I don't know who I like. Why do I need to like someone anyway? I don't, maybe IO just... Want to. So much of a tomboy I am, well, guys like people too, so it doesn't really affect my tomboyness at all. Anyway, as I was saying... I actually forgot what I was going to type, well, if I forgot, it obviously wasn't important. I like to tell myself that when I forget things that I think were important. I know it's weird, but I kind of want David to sms me tomorrow morning when I wake up saying good morning, well, it doesn't have to be David, it can be anyone, whether it's a boy or a girl, but nobody ever says good morning to me anymore, David Herr used to, but he doesn't anymore. I just miss that. Anywho, my eye is really really sore, I don't know how I am ever going to get to sleep. Oh My G-d! I am so sorry for all of you who arereading this, because it even sickens me how much | complain about myself. So I just finished watching Friends, I love that show, it will always manage to bring a smile on my face, no matter what type of mood I'm in. I have seen it so many times, I was reciting the words that the characters said, it was actually quite funny, my mom got so annoyed. I was playing my CD's that I made (not of my own music of course) but I have really become obsessed with the song Doolin-Dalton by The Eagles. So now I have two new favourite songs, Another brick in the wall Part 1, and Doolin-dalton. Well, I'm pretty tired (not really I just have nothing left to say), Okay how stupid can I be to just type that, if I'm going to lie and say I'm tired, it would be better for me to just say that and nothing else but that, but noooo, I go and add some stupid comment, wow, I'm an idiot. Anyway, I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO SAY! bye :)

I find it weird how my days can be so boring, yet I always have soething to talk about on this journal thing. I'm not a huge fan of journals, I've never been the type of girl who writes in a journal about her feelings and crap, I'm just a 12 year old girl who loves her music, not the boy crushing girly girl type, in fact, I am the complete opposite. I am actually a tomboy, I've been one ever since 3 years ago, I just can't stand all that girly crap. I like to skateboard, and I love to play sports, I would much rather hand out with guys than girls, I eat like a complete and utter pig and I can't stand wearing a dress, even if I do occasionally say that some guy is hot. I'm the type of person who can't trus anybody with her secrets. I have never told anybody, not even my closest friends any of my secrets, well, I have once before, but I don't anymore, I have found out that I can't trus any of my so called girl friends. Not Teagan, not Isabel, and I am not proud to say that I did and one point trust Sidne, but that, as always, was a huge mistake. I knew I could trust Emma, so she has heard a secret or two of mine, and I was relieved to know that she was going through the same thing, but she is just not the same person she was back then, she changed so much at camp, I don't even like her much anymore. Now I just hang out with the guys, well, when I say guys I mean Dylan, David, sometimes Kyle, Josh, and some otehrs, but they are just so funny and so much fun to be around. I havn't spent a lot of time with Teagan at all, I bet they all hate me. I think that all of the girls in my class completely hate me, and why shouldn't they? I have been spending time with other people, I have been sarcastic with them (well, I'm naturally sarcastic), I don't share my secrets with them, they are just probably not used to it. I don't want them to hate me, I just have a lot more things in common with the boys, and I do like to hang out with them and stuff, it's just... I don't know, they don't get me. I always have something to talk about with the boys, but when I'm with the girls I don't have as much to say, I usually just sit there listening to them talk with each other. I mostly have to listen to Sidne trash-talk abo ut Kayla, I mean, how could someone be stupid enough to talk aobut the persons first cousin horribly in front of them? I seriously hate Sidne. I just havn't been having the best past few days. I woke up at 8:59 this morning, do you know what that means??? I am waking up in the 8's, that is NEVER good! Call me crazy but that is just the way I think, I can't believe I woke up so early this morning, I just hate it! Then my mom had to deal with my hair, stupid lice, why does all this stuff have to happen to me? I have seriously become obsessed with the movie "Pink Floyd The Wall" I am always talking about it, and I am always talking about the songs in it, and I even made a joke tonight that had to do with it (my dad was laughing his head off, it really wasn't that funny, I wasn't expecting anybody to laugh) You see, my dad said "I don't eat red meat" so I said "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding" (You would understand if you have seen the movie). Speaking of my dad, he came back from the doctor today who gave him an injection for his foot. Shame, he said it was really hurting him. I got told that I have to wake up before 10:30 tomorrow morning because we are going ice-skating, whoop-di-doo. It's not that I don't enjoy ice-skating, it's just... I don't know, I'm just not looking forward to it. I was watching "How I Met Your Mother" today (Wow I watch way too much TV) anyway, the one character named Barney, who is the one who always sleeps around with women, was in love with Robyn, who is the one.. well she is just one of the circle of friends, anyway, they are so perfect for each other! Of course he hasn't said anything to her, and I really think he should. That probably made me sound like those people who never get out... Eh who cares, it's not like I know any of you people. Anyway, I just really hope that I wake up at at least 9:30 tomorrow morning, I am seriously going to be depressed tomorrow if I wake up earlier than 9:15. I was trying to do something on my account on this website, but I just son't know who to do it, it's so confusing and weird, well, it doesn't really matter. The reason my previous journals were so short is because those nights I kept hearing these noises that scared me to death, and then last night I was looking at the computer and I saw something move next to me, which freaked me out, but not tonight, maybe it's because my dad is awake. I don't know, anyway, I am going to go to bed now, even though I have lots more to say, so bye

I had the weirdest dream last night, it was in some random place and the I saw Dave there with his friends or something, and he gave me a hug and all, and I seriously have to get over this Dave and Steve thing, I just really wish I would have said good- bye first. I woke up at 3:00 this morning, then I woke up again at 6:00 and the I woke up again for the final time at 9:00, I hate these... Lady problems I have, I seriously can't stand it. Anyway, I finished the rest of the movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas this morning, after I went Ten Pin Bowling. I had so much fun there, even though I lost. It doesn't matter to me, I just hate it when Emily and Ruth get so competetive, it's just so annoying, but what can I really do? After bowling we went to the arcades where I won a lot of tickets which was also quite fun, at one point I thought I had lost my phone, but my mom actually had it in her bag. Today we were talking about how nice it would be to go to Sun City, I love it there, it's such an amazing place. I think for all who live in South Africa and who hasn't been to Sun City have not lived, well, I guess I only say taht because I've never been overseas in a time I can actually remember (I was born in Canada and I left when I was 5 months old). I so wish I could go overseas, that would be so awesome, but only for like a week or two. I have become quite obsessed with the song Another Brick in the Wall Part 1. It's so good! I love it so much! I love Pink Floyd, it is one amazing band that has definitely lived the life of amazing music. Luckily I know how to play it on guitar, I sure do love my music, but I'm sure many other ametures do too. Well, as long as I am passionate about it, it doesn't really matter whether I'm good or not, right? I watched the movie Pink Floyd The Wall again today, it really isn't as scary as the first time when you watch it again, I actually got through the whole movie in one day, when I first watched it, it took my about a week just to finish it because I was so creeped out by it. I think I understand it a little better now, but I still think there is much more to understand. Maybe I'm just too young, I don't like to think that though because for somebody my age, I understand a lot, well, if I do say so myself. I don't really like compliments, I just feel so awkward getting them, not that I get them a lot, in fact, I hardly get them at all and when I do get them they are really not true. Well, I don't have much else to say, so I think I'm just going to head off to bed.

It is my sisters birthday today, and to celebrate her birthday, went to the waterslides. Let me start from the begining, I had to wake up at 8:00 in the morning for some barmitzvah I had to go to, which was okay with me because I knew I was going to the waterslides afterwards, you know, it gave me something to look forward to. So the barmitzvah service ended and when I got home to get ready for the waterslides, I went to the bathroom to get changed, which was when I found out I had my... Lady problems, so I didn't get to go on the waterslides, but what bothered me even more than that was the fact that my whole family knew about it, and they were talking about it in front of me! Do they not understand how embarrased I get when it comes to those things? Well, at least I got to finish my Archie comic, I was reading it while Emily and Ruth were on the slides. It was really weird because on the way to the waterslides, I could have sworn I saw Dave from camp. It looked exactly like him, well, I guess I can't really say because I only caught a glimpse of him. While we were at the waterslides, I found out that my family and I had the Opportunity to go to Australia, for Ilans barmitzvah, but can we go? Of course not! That is just how unfair my life is. Anyway, I did have fun after the waterslides, when we started playing Mini Golf. I love Putt Putt, it's just so much fun! I won the game, but I wouldn't have if my dad had played, and it was just dumb luck anyway, but I still had fun, Ruth is so funny. Anyway, I just finished watching some of the movie "The Boy in the Stryped Pajamas" and it made me really think, I am always saying how my life is so unfair and so bad, but imagine what the Jews had to go through in the Holocaust. I could never manage being intheir position, it just makes me so sad to know that people could actually bring themselves to do that to other people. I am just so greatful for what I have and for living in these times. People may say that I am living in the wrong era, just because of the music I listen to, but I disagree, the music I listen to wouldn't be as important to me then as it is now. Besides, I would never want to live in those times, with so much racism and sexism, I could never manage that.

Tomorrow it's my sisters birthday! I'm really excited for it, the only thing that sucks about tomorrow is that I have to wake up at 8:00 in the morning to go to a barmitzvah that I really don't want to be at! And I most definitely don't want to wear a dress! Well, at least Isabel will be there, she really is a great friend, and besides, I will be going to the waterslides afterward for Ruth's birthday. Emily and I made her this one powerpoint type thing, and it's so funny, I hope she enjoys it. I honestly hated working with Emily on it, she just completely takes over, I would have been much better off doing it by myself. Oh well, there are much more things I have to worry about. I had this really weird dream last night, and I went into this one persons house because he was a "mortal" with Morah Futeran, because I was supposed to give this one girl a present. When I got into the house I heard this loud crappy "music" playing, and the man started singing to it softly. So I was by the doory and it was the door, then the stairs to get to the rest of the house, and Isabel just appears out of nowhere, I don't knwo where she got in in the story, anyway, the door suddenly opens, and Deej walks in with this little boy, and we both say Oh My G-D. Well, it was a pretty weird dream, anyway... So i found out how Yoko Ono broke up the beatles, that bitch! I know, it's crazy that I only found out now, but it doesn't really matter. I just can't believe that John Lennon would just let something like that go on, and how he broke the rule of no girlfriends or wives in the studio! I'm not mad at John Lennon at all, I just completely hate Yoko Ono. Listen to me, writing about something probably everybody else has already gotten over, it just shows how completely stupid I am. Anyway, I'm really getting worried about Nan, she keeps hurting herself, whether it's by slipping, or falling, or getting hit by a car, but I'm much more worried about my dad, he keeps moaning from the pains of his foot, today he was leaning on my shoulder, and Emily looked at me, so I looked back, you know, just for the sake of looking back, and my dad took it to mean that I was embarresed or something, so he stopped leaning on me, and then Emily says "you can lean on my shoulder if you want". Why does she have to ruin everything! I just hate her so much, I know she's my sister, but I seriously can't stand her. Now my dad probably hates me or somehthing, I just felt so bad and I felt so stupid. Well I will just have to try to not look sad tomorrow because I don't want to ruin my little sister's birthday, I remember my year of turning 11, well, I should I mean, I'm 12 now, 13 this year in February! I can't wait until my birthday! I can't even believe that I'm thinking about that now, It's in like another month, anyway, I am just really not looking forward to that Barmitzvah tomorrow, well at least it won't be a long service, and you can never have enough free food, am I right? Lol, anyway, I think I'm going to go to bed now, urgh, Emily just told me she is going to sleep now, LIKE I CARE! Anyway, I'm off.

It feels so weird say 2011 instead of 2010, 2010 really has been an amazing year. I just finished watching this rock concert thing with my dad on TV, and it was pretty cool, it made me think of how cool it will be when I go to a concert. The only thing that worries me about going to a concert is I'm not sure how I'm going to act, I mean, will I just stand there? Will I dance or sing along? with I just sway from side to side? Will I even be able to see the band on the stage? It all just makes me wonder, but I can't wait for it. I'm quite happy that I didn't go to the Beach Boys concert, I don't really know their songs, but I'm learning to Eagles songs, so taht when I go to their concert, I'll know the songs they play. Well, seeing as how I only went to sleep this morning at 12:36, I went to bed early I guess, so then I woke up at 6:00, and I went back to sleep, and I woke up again at 11:00, and I had anamazing breakfast. Today was pretty awesome, I didn't do anything special, but it was cool. I did feel a little restless today, but it doesn't really matter. We might be going to Spier tomorrow, I love Spier, and I don't mind what we do tomorrow, as logn as we go out. I can't just stay in this house for the whole of the holidays, it will be too boring. I am really stressing about school, it just worries me so much, I just need to stop stressing, and go see the Eagles concert, I'm sorry, I'm just so excited after watching the thing on TV today. I feel like my story on Pirates of the Carrabean wasn't good, not only because it actually wasn't good at all, but because nobody has reviewed it yet, oh well, I guess I can't have every story of mine loved by people. It doesn't bother me that much though. What does bother me is Shirley, I can't stand her! She is here practically every single day, and I just hate it! I just wish she would like, move to some other country with her family or something, just so that I wouldn't have to see her anymore. She is probably one of the most annoying people you can get, along with Sidne Barnett and Jed Kadish. Wow, those three people are extremely annoying. I was thinking today that I can't actually sing while playing guitar! Well, I don't know that for sure, but I only realised today that it's not as easy as it looks, I mean, what if you play the wrong chord by mistake, it will completely affect your words that you are singing, and I practically always play the wrong chords. I can't believe people think I actually taught myself how to play guitar, I keep telling them that I have a book! It doesn't really count does it. Well, I'm not even good anyway, so I don't see why people get so amazed by it. There are many things in this worl that I want, and one of these things is to move to Parklands and to move in the same street as Isabel so that when Kyle and David go to visit her, they can come visit me too. I think Isabel is so lucky, I mean, she does have to deal with so much in her life, but she gets through it all. She is so smart and so pretty, and I think it's so stupid that she is always putting herself down by saying that she is fat. She should be so proud of herself. Anyway, I'm not in the mood for writing anymore, so I'm going to head off to bed, bye.

Happy New Year! It is oficially New Years and I love how I'm not the only one awake anymore at 12. I just came back from watching the fireworks with my dad and my sister, and it was pretty cool. The only thing I hate about this day is that it just brings me a step closer to Middle School, and I most definitely do not want to go to Middle School. David Herr just phoned me to say Happy New Year, isn't that sweet? As I was saying, I don't want to go to Middle School, I'm probably going to fail the year, I barely passed Grade 6. I was thinking a lot today about The Prom that is going to happen in Matrick, and I was imagining people asking me, and people asking me to dance. I pictured the people who were going to ask me, and it was so nice. I watched the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time today, and that is one freaky movie. The end of it kind of confused me, when they kill frankenfirt... or whatever his name is, with the ray gun,a nd then they said that they were aliens? It's pretty confusing. I don't know, maybe I'm too young to understand it. For a person my age, I think I understand things pretty well, like things most people my age don't understand. Well, I wasn't doing much today, but my mom seems to think that I'm sad or something. Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I'm sad, I really wish she wouldn't think that I was sad. Before my parents came home from the New Years party they went to, my sister and my granny and I were having a great time listening to my music and just chatting, it was fun. This was after Shirley had left, and I completely hate Shirley, she ruins everything for me. I don't even like to think about her let alone talk about her. Anyway, I just need to change the subject. I made an account for Youtube today, so I can now comment on the videos and like the videos and dislike the videos, I've always wanted to do that, even if I did lie about my age. I listened to the song "Wade in the Water" and I don't really know the meaning behind it. Apparently it has some great meaning with something to do with Africa and I really want to know what the story is, so I think I'm going to look it up. Oh wow, it's like, about the Israelites and how they escape from Egypt. It didn't really tell me the story behind it, but it did tell me some interesting stuff. Anyway, I got this sms from Kayla today, and it said something about a song, so I smsed her back and she said she had no idea what I was talking about. Anyway, I don't know what was going on with her. So I downloaded all of my Camp photos, and I looked at Deej's, i'm in it but it's not such a great photo of me, I ook so... Sad. Well, I think I'm going to head off to bed now, even though I am completely awake.

I woke up really early this morning by the need of having to go to the bathroom, but it was okay because I went straight back to sleep when I climbed back in bed and woke up nice and late once again. I started watching this scary movie today so I decided to stop and I got dressed because we were going to the aquarium. It was completely boring, but I did get to wear my awesome Jimi Hendrix shirt, and I did get to go to Musica, which was really awesome as well. I have just been chilling the whole day, and I watched another movie, The Princess and the Frog. For an animated movie, it's quite sweet. I finally finished my story on Pirates of the Crrabean. It's really not good, but I wrote about it so intensly because I have realised that is exactly what is happening to me. I don't know who I like yet, but lately I have been fantasising about someone I really like coming up to be and just kissing me. Of course this is in school, well, after school when nobody else is around, and it's just me there, and this person comes up to me and kisses me, of course it won't just be random for the person to do this, well, it would be but it would be because... well, maybe we had a bit of a fight that day, or maybe we were talking and he was talking about the person he likes and I wouldn't know who it was and then he kisses me, or something like that. But I don't want this kiss to be in grade 7, well, it can be as long as it's in the fourth term or something. The thing that bothers me about this whole kissing this, is that I don't know who the person is. I don't really like anybody at the moment, so I keep picturing this boy as many different people. It frustrates me so much! Well, I guess theres nothing I can really do about it. I'm really worrying about Grade 7, but like, seriously worrying. I don't want to move houses, I like staying here, it's so much nicer then any of the other places I have lived in after the Milnerton house. I really really really want to move to Parklands, it would make me so much happier, but what does my happiness mean to anyone? My sisters birthday is coming up, Ruth. The only thing that bothers me is that I have to go to Aaron Shers barmitzvah at the shul service on that day. At least Isabel will be there, we can have one of our great friendship talks, I'm sure it will be fun. I feel sorry for Ruth though, she has to spend her birthday there. I asked on Fanpop why I would take my dad's photo and put it in my room, and I got a reply that I think was quite true, because it gave me some type of connection with him, and I sure do love my dad. Well It's not officially morning (it;s like 12 now) so I'm off to bed.

I love this waking up and going to sleep rutine. Sleep late wake up late, I love it. Well, today everyone from camp have comeback, and it just remionds me more of Steve and Dave. It just bothers me that there is nothign I can do about it. Well, on the bright side, today wasn't completely boring. I learned a new song on guitar, you know, "something" by the Beatles, which reminds me, I watched this thing on youtube today about the Powerpuff girls and it was an episode called the Beat-alls. It was so funny! So today we were looking through all the baby photos and the photos of my mom and dad when they were young, and I came across thi one when my dad was about my age, or probably younger, but the point is, I took it, and put it in my room. I don't know why, and that is the thing that bothers me, why would I do such a thing? It really does make me wonder.I found out today that all of my Nan's sisters and brothers have died, I mean, how sad is that? Shame, she started crying today, I hate to see people cry. I found out that I'm going to the Aquarium tomorrow with Emily and my mom. I'm not really excited about it, I acrually hate the aquarium, for a person that is in love with the ocean, i find it surprising that I hate the Aquarium. What i'm looking forward to about tomorrow is that I'm going to the Big Musica in the Waterfront which is right next to the Aquarium, so that will be awesome, just to get some new CDs. I was really going to watch Titanic today, but I just... didn't. I don't know, i guess I just wasn't in the right mood for it. I just wrote a story on Fanfiction about Pirates of the Carrabean, and I don't think it's that bad. The only horrible thing is, I don't think many people will comment on it, people hardly ever comment on my stories, but it's not the end of the world. I'm so happy I got to wear my new ACDC shirt today, I really love it, and tomorrow I'm going to wear my Jimi Hendrix one. I have been playing the guitar a lot today, but I still don't think I'm really good. I have always fantasised about being in a band, but I just don't think I'm good enough. Today, well yesterday (it's like, 12 now) my sister asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I just couldn't answer her. I don't really know yet. I used to have my heart set on being an author and a photographer, but I'm not really good enough to do any of those things. I might as well just not do anything, I don't think I'm good enough to do any of it. Well, I'm off to bed now, I've been up writing stories for fanfiction this whole time.