I've got this...theory, you could call it. People are like wallpaper. If we really like one (wallpaper or a person) we'll hang on to it. If we don't like one we'll try and get rid of it but sometimes we just put up with it. [I know, this is one really ridiculous 'theory'] Then after a while we may get bored of the 'liked' wallpaper and tear it down (just like we do with people). Therefore people are like wallpaper...or get treated like wallpaper anyway...... hm....

I just realised I missed out 81...that will probably annoy me until death us do part....

I know a guy who is in a band who're releasing an EP on itunes. I know another who has been signed for a big football team. They're a year or two older than me. Last night mum said "...and what happened to my children?" It was a so-called joke. And it hurt like shit. Anybody ever felt like their not good enough? P.S - 'Case anybody's interested the band are called The Modests.

I felt distant today. Not sad-distant, just distant. Me and my dad were in the car tonight and it was raining. We weren't talking and the radio was on. I couldn't feel any specific emotions or anything and I just was looking at everything, look, blink, look elsewhere.... The other cars seemed sleepy and all the people on a bus were listening to their music and away in their own distant places.

Today I went to see my Gran in hospital, she got taken in last week after a bad fall. Turns out she had a stroke but nothing too bad (thank God), she's getting some words mixed up a bit but the nurses say that shes able to walk really well. I swear her dementia is better than before she fell (she did ask the same question a few times though) and she seems really perky and bright. I was so so worried about her before I saw her but now I'm a fair bit less. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Last week I got too wrapped up in my emotions again and began to think how many people would actually miss me if I weren't here. At first I thought hardly any but then I thought "oh what about them and them and them...." and the imaginary list grew and kept going and I said to myself "stuff the original thought!" WannabePunkEmoKid =D

I know I haven't posted that much recently but I think I'm gunna try to put up some more. Heres a sorta mini updatey type thing - o Schools out next friday for summer and its just beginning to feel real and summery (despite the fact that it's raining). Reality is getting a bit scary though, I can't believe I've been at high school for two years already and i know it's gonna get faster so I wanna try to enjoy the ride. o I've started getting bass guitar lessons and I really am going to practice and play as much as possible. o I bought another notebook a coupla weeks ago then brought it home to find out i have far too many notebooks to actually fill with anything but I'll try! o I try songwriting a fair bit and I can invent all these emotional conversations and events in my head but then whenever I try to write something nothing works y'know. o I'm constantly singing something in my head or out loud whenever nobody's around - except my brother who says I can't sing at all but it doesnt stop me. o And I'm going to see Bon Jovi in Edinburgh next week which is awesomely exciting I probably could write some more here but I'll leave it at that 'coz it could take a while. WannabePunkEmoKid =D

Today i done something that I think most people thought stupid they laughed i think they think i should be ashamed but i'm not I'm proud, happy, relieved, And I am ALIVE!

I'm a liar at least thats something thats true.

My eyes are stinging like I'm going to cry but I don't think I'm going to. I do feel kinda...sad, I was looking at some old school stuff from before high school and that brought on some nostalgia, I think, or maybe I'm just bored and a bit lonely. Feel like listening to some sad Taylor Swift songs.... WannabePunkEmoKid x

I had a meeting with one of my teachers in school today about subjects that I'm gonna take for the next two years and then do exams in them. I have to take english, maths and a language and at least one science, then I'll get R.E and P.E aswell. So heres my next two years (these are the ones I'll get exams for): English Maths Spanish Physics Modern Studies Art Graphic Communications Music Mum thinks I shoulda chosen more academic subjects but these are the ones I'm interested in.