So today we had ceilidh dancing instead of PE 'cause we're having a ceilidh at christmas, anyway boys choice of who to dance with and I wasn't actually chosen, I got put with the last boy who didnt chose. He didnt look particularly happy at this (mind you nobody actually enjoys these dances) and I was pretty miserable because nobody chose me (I honestly don't mind the guy i danced with I just wish somebody had asked me to dance). Okay so whats so wrong with me. I aint a slut and I try not to judge people. Yes I have done some stupid crap in the past (we'll just leave it where it belongs) and I express my individuality but whats so bad about that.

Never thought I'd get so excited about buying MCRs new album off of itunes.

What do you do with yourself at 4:35am? Might aswell start that history essay.

I really wanna go out for a walk but its pitch-black outside and minus-whatever-degree-celcius and that guy got murdered.

The other day (Wednesday I think), some guy got murdered about five minutes away from where I live. Stabbed in the throat (ow). I wonder if it was just some random freak thing or if it wasn't. Still its pretty dodgy, that these things happen and half of them we don't even hear about. Scary...

Damn its like a war-zone outside, stupid fireworks.

Tonight I went with the school to an indoor ski-place and halfway through it I ended up going to get changed after falling. I told everybody I got dis-orientated and crashed into the wall but actually that was mostly a lie, I crashed into the wall yes and slid down a bit but it wasn't disorientation that made me crash, I crashed because I was crying my eyes out whilst skiing and could hardly see. For the past few weeks I've wanted to cry a bundle of times but I could never actually cry and then it happened at the most unreasonable time. I cried about all the crap people had said to me and how paranoid i am/was. So I was meant to turn and I slid the wrong way and Bam! right into the wall, skis were still pointing down hill, kept sliding and then the hill got a bit flatter and I stopped. I told one of the teachers there with us that I didnt feel too great and she took me into the wee ski/board-collection-place and gave me some skittles (nom nom nom), she told me I had been skiing brilliantly (was that me?) it made me feel better. So I will go back next week and try again and try not to cry. Plus I aint wastin' £85. WannabePunkEmoKid oh yeh and I found this in one of my school books: 'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars'-Oscar Wilde Just now I am looking at the stars.

tonight my brother got his first 'gig' in a little restaurant with a grand piano, he plucked up the courage to ask the waiter if he could play it. and he did, from billy joel and john lennon to lady gaga and evanescence. it was cool

I believe in God. I believe in peace. I believe in love. I believe in Music. I believe in the truth.

Last night, my brother looked for the iron in the fridge....