I found eight whole pages with pictures and everything in one of my old animal books. About jellyfish. 8 pages about jellyfish. I think I couldn't be happier. It's in spanish, so it won't have the same terminology as it'd have in english. William was going to get me a book about jellyfish but he couldn't find one. He says he'll find one eventually. He's so sweet :) Sometimes I think he's thrilled about having a girlfriend. Just to have a girlfriend. Doesn't matter if it's Janie or Jane or Jannet. Just a girl that likes him is fine. Is that it, William? I also think he thinks I'm conceited. Which I can't really argue to. But I don't want him to think that. I'm going to my neighbor's house next. I don't want to go. I just want to stay home with my parents and watch a Christmas movie or something. Just us. I took a shower and washed my hair. I got dressed and looked in the mirror. I'm starting to look more and more like mom. Maybe it's the jeans. Or the hair. But I am. That's not bad. But it's not good either. I'm watching TV, something I hadn't done in a very long time. Last time, it probably was The Soup. It's Nickelodeon now, Nick@nite. Gay. They're showing some corny Christmas movie and make it sound hot. lol. yeah.

So, I'd like to point out one of my coolest genuine phrases: Precipitation in my bedroom. Nothing is more perfect than that, I think. It's so beautiful and dreamy. Anyway, I need to write about two things now. 1. William said the cutest thing yesterday. He was being extra funny/clever/playful/witty/flirty last night. Anyway: Me- I know :) Maybe I should make it more than one day. Or ill do this and do it everyday in the summer. That sounds good. Him- Ill keep you to that then :) um yea that souns like a plan anyways homework wont be letting up so its probably t wait tillsummer. I on the other hand dont think i have plans for my last summer here. Me- Do something you wouldnt be able to do over there Him- Any suggestions? Me- Learn how to surf Him- That works. I know what i cant do over there. Hang with you :) awwwwwww! That is so cutttttttte. AnyWAY, 2. I had a dream last night but I don't remember much. I just had a flashback, though. Like when you take LSD, you know? I just read this, though. So I don't know. Anyway, my dad had died so my mom was cancelling our trip to Californa. We were at the front desk thing at the airport and my mom was booking us in or something. The guy informed us that Denis was dead, to which my mom responded, "Oh. Then, no. We can't fly without him." I remember thinking or asking outloud, "Why not, mom?" Lately, people have been dying in my dreams. Like, Mariah. And dad. Things like that. When Mariah died at the metro station, I was sobbing. I was sobbing. Not Janie in the dream, Janie in real life. Mariah and I went for ice cream last night at nine and then her parents went to Winn Dixie while me and Mariah talked in the car. It was a pre-birthday thing. They thought I'd be away tomorrow. Tomorrow's her birthday and we're going to a barbeque. I have to buy her her present. I gave her a blue jacket from Forever21 as one of the gifts. I'm getting her headphones as the other gift. Michelle got me The Perks of Being a Wallflower for Christmas yesterday. I love that book. I still have to get her something but, if all else fails, I'll get her the Pink scrub I got for emergencies. Michelle has a blog. http://www.ihaveapencilandiknowhowtouseit.tumblr.com

I spent the day with Michelle. I picked her up at her dad's Subway and went to Pembroke Pines mall. My mom was shopping for Cary's and Oscar's Christmas presents. Michelle and I were kinda just dawdling around. We got churros and I got a pink eyeliner at Hot Topic. I discovered some chonga store which had all types of eyeliner colors. I was thrilled. Michelle and I also discussed my boyfriend's sexual orientation. William's. I'm listening to RHCP now, LOVE! It's just so unstable. I can't help the feeling he's gay. Or bi. Strike one- He talks about how one of his friends tried to hit on him in junior year. Strike two- He talks about how guys check him out and hit on him at the gym. Strike three- He brags about his clothes size - XS. Strike four- His favorite store is Aeropostale. Strike five- He loves to cook. Strike six- He liked that sparkly shirt from Old Navy I wore the other day. Strike seven- He notices the color eyeliner I wear. Strike eight- He talks about the awkward positions in gym when they do yoga. Strike nine- He's obsessed with his physical appearance. I'm sure this list will grow. But, if he's not straight, I think it won't matter and we'll still be able to be great friends. Then I came home and did geometry and english stuff. O, I'm getting new glasses. My soulmates broke and they were limited edition or something.

I don't think I mentioned the British accent I've developed. It was inspired by HP6 movie. I love Harry Potter! I'm going to VisionWorks today to get my brand new glasses. We're going to pick up Michelle at around 10. I like Michelle. She laughs at my jokes. Haha. Like, even when I'm not saying something funny, she thinks I'm funny. But something fun happened yesterday as I was doing my white laundry. I shouted, "Get in there, you white cloths!" as I threw them in. I couldn't stop laughing 'cause it sounds racist but they're-- clothes. lol. I bought some sushi erasers last Sat. They're too cool. Well, who would've known? They're from UO. $7.00, though. They're really well made, actually. Lovely quality. Don't streak. What is this, me advertising my favorite store? You could call it that but w.e. I gave one to Raul and one to William. William's friend wanted one and I was gonna give her the gray eel one but I forgot. I used to feel more comfortable writing here. Like, more like myself. I guess it just needs time. I'm still not done with Geometry! But I will be, should be. K, gotta go now. O and for my old journal, type in ronmascara on google. You'll find me eventually.

Sometimes I get this feeling like I'm a loner. Like I have nothing to do. I didn't get this back in 8th grade 'cause it was Gaby, Mariah, and me. But now.. It's not. And I can't find that quality of people here at DASH. Except William but he's my boyfriend, so it doesn't really count. "yes I think you're sticking with me now 'cause I'm all you've got" I feel it now because it feels like a Saturday and I've got nothing to do. And none of the people I know call me to be with me. Bright Eyes makes me company, though. I love Conor.