So today I have no school, which is always nice. I am hanging out with Becca today and maybe working tonight. Finally talking to Kevin again and trying to mend things with him. Been fighting with my friend but its not worth it at all so I stopped caring.

Today all came crumbling down. I lost a friend, I am not too upset about that. My phone's been taken away for nothing. I am not allowed to drive because "i cant be trusted" even though I didn't do anything. Literally nothing. I am just sick of my mother acting as if she knows everything that is going on when in reality she has no idea. She is a huge bitch and only is out trying to ruin my life because she wants me to be as miserable as she is. And guess what? It's working. If I get kicked out I am living with Becca. Hands down. I will end up not going to college. Not having a job. Being a nobody just like my god damn mom. God this frustration is driving me fucking insane.

Ben and I are through. Which I guess is good cause I don't need a little boy. I need a man. Somebody with a job. Somebody who wants a relationship. Somebody who wants other things besides sex. Hempfest on Saturday :) The only down side, Drew and Lisa are going. Hopefully I don't run into them. I doubt I will but still, if we get into something I swear on my life I will take the bitch down :D Hopefully I can actually go too, cause I might have to work 12:30 to 5:30 which would be the entire length of Hempfest. PRAY for me. Any cool guys who aren't jerks feel free to talk to me ;)

HEMPFEST next saturday! :D fuck yes. enough said.

So Ben and I didn't hang out, as you can see from my last entry. It sorta sucks but I had a really good night anyways. Hung out with Gabe and Becca and it was fun! Last night when I got home, Ben asked me to date him. I sort of said no. So we are waiting a little bit until we hang out. We will probably hang out next weekend. Me and Becca will meet him up in Manchester for a while and just hang out. Today I am going to the rehab place to see Mike :) It has been a few weeks since I last saw him. I have to work after that I think, I am on call, so I have to leave after a little while. I have SO much homework I need to get done today too. It's going to be such a busy day.

9/11. So Ben= a waste of time?-He's pretty much proven me right. We have made plans two weekends in a row and for some reason both have fallen through. I am mad about it too because I am wasting my time. I don't want to get stood up, ONCE AGAIN. Why does this always happen? Why do I trust people, and why do I always get fooled into thinking there could possibly be something more?

I just got off the phone with my ex. He has a new girlfriend! I am happy for him. We were only dating for a little while, he was a little too immature for me(I like the older guys;]). Could this be really? New boy. Name: Ben. Age: 19. Cute: yes. Sweet: yes. Similarities?: Almost all the same...weird. Hanging out on Saturday :) Oh how I love the weekends.

Lalala :) I am in a great mood. I hung out with my best friend Taylor for the past 2 days. Tomorrow I have to go to school, ew. But it should be a fairly good day! I have to come home, do homework and then work til 11. I am just looking forward to the weekend coming again because I am going to hang out with Becca and Ben and one of his friends. He wants to maybe date, but I am not sure if I wana star anything with another guy. I always get screwed over, and I don' want to anymore! But we have been texting alllllll day and flirting a lot :] If I don't have to go to work Saturday we are all going to go to the beach and then find somewhere to stay from the night. I am pretty excited. No sex though. I can't do that. I promised I wouldn't for a while. At least not until I am in a relationship and we are going for a little while. My friend Jake is texting me, he goes to school in Boston. He is sooooo horny it is sooooo funny. He just sent a text saying "mmmmmm;) talk dirty to me" and then proceeded to say "mmm I want to kiss and massage your big boobs and neckkkk!" ahahahahaha I don't even know what to say. It is just way too funny. I promised him I'd go visit him at some point this year. I'll just take the T in so I don't have to drive lol. It only takes a little while. But he would have to show me how to get to MCPHS from there because I have no idea where I am going lol. I really wana go to school there next year, so HOPEFULLY I get accepted and he will be there :) yay! Well I have school tomorrow so I have to go. Goodnighhttt!

Today I had work from 4 to 9. It was great! I love that job. I love interacting with all of the people. I don't have much to say, other than that I am taking a break from boys. It is totally not worth my time, thinking about all these guys that have screwed me over.

He has had his phone. He has been ignoring me the whole time. Out of the random. I am hurt only because he promised me, promised he wouldn't hurt me. That he wouldn't be like all the rest. He still hasn't talked to me, but I'll let you know that I definitely said stuff to him. If he doesn't have the balls to talk to me then I'm not going to waste my time on him. He doesn't deserve it. Plus I sort of like being single :] Not on holidays when I have nobody to hold me, but in the summer. I'm sure somebody worth something will come along eventually. This year is going to be a good one, and I am not going to let some guy ruin it for me.