You take my breath away.... I really like Kevin. I haven't broken up with the other one though. I need to as soon as I get my phone back. As soon as I do. I am hanging out with Kevin, Victor and Becca when I am ungrounded. He is so sweet. He doesn't want sex from me, he wants a relationship. He is the ideal guy. I would love to date him, as soon as I break up with the other and as soon as he asks me :) We are going to go to the movies, sit in the back row, kiss :] I am so excited for that. He has a gorgeous face, a perfect body, places on a football team. He is physically perfect. I feel like when I see him I have to look absolutely perfect. I am going shopping today so hopefully I will find something perfect to wear with him. He gives me butterflies. He had me at hello. You're a supernova.

So I still havent been able to get ahold of my phone to break up with my boyfriend :/ I need to though. I don't like him in a boyfriend way. I have feelings for somebody else. This boy Kevin. He is 20 years old. He is incredibly hot, adorable, sweet, amazing, caring. He wants me to be his girlfriend. I have feelings for him. The only thing is....he is joining the army. I am so nervous about it. I dont want anyhting to happen to him. I don't want to get connected just to lose him :( We aren't even dating but I know that id he tells me he is leaving, I will burst into tears. I dont know what to do! Help me?! :(

I turned on my phone after it being tunred off for a day. I had 24 texts. Jesus. Not one of them was from my boyfriend. I havent talked to him since Sunday when I told him my phone was being taken away. And surprisingly, I am okay with that. I don't really like him. I don't really want to be dating him. But until I can talk to him again, I am stuck in a shitty position. I met somebody though. He is Becca's friend from Franklin NH. We talk every day on facebook since I don't have my phone. He is very very attractive, and he wants me to be his girlfriend. I told him about my boyfriend now, and he said he doesn't care, that he wants to stick with me and when me andmy boyfriend split, we can be together. I am hanging out with him some time next week, and I am so excited. His name in Kevin :) He promised me a kiss. Can't wait to be ungrounded.

Being phoneless sucks. I havent talked to my boyfriend since last night :( I have a strange feeling that he wants to break up. Hopefully not but it wouldn't be the end of the world, I'd live. I might get it back tomorrow for a little bit because I have to go to school and give tours to the incoming freshmen. I am beyond bored too. All I have been doing is going on the computer, facebook, myspace, here. Blah nothing exciting.

Day one of being grounded: Babysitting from 8 to 12 then I have no idea what else. I just woke up and it is 10 so I already slept through half my babysitting time. I hate babysitting. I'm getting paid for it though, 8 dollars an hour, and at the end of the week I will use it for back to school shopping. Same thing going on tomorrow. I would love to get my boyfriends number cause I forgot to write it down. I could text him through the internet which would be great, considering he doesn't know my phone has been taken away lol. It's kind of a relief not having it. But I do need it for work, esecially today, cause I don't know if I have to work today, and they will be calling to tell me if I have to.

So my mom found out that my boyfriend and his friend slept over. She didn't believe me when I said that Becca stayed too. She kept saying "I am beyond dissapointed in you Lindsey." blah blah blah. And surprisingly, I realized how little I cared. I am 18 years old. I need to stop being treated like a child, and I need my mother to realize that I am going to have sex with boys. That I have a boyfriend. That she no longer needs to know everything going on in my life. I am all done with it.

She took my phone, and I am pissed about it. Also a little nervouse cause I don't know who will text me and what they will say. And because I have dirty pictures in my media. But I wouldn't really care if she saw them. Everyone takes dirty pictures once in a while and sends them to their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. And hey, I sent them to my boyfriend.

Hopefully I get it back soon though. I really only care about deleting the pictures and getting numbers in case I need to get a hold of somebody.

She said tomorrow she will let me get a number so til then I am stuck just hanging out on the computer. Fun...not.

In addition to the previous journal: I am grounded because of Haley. I am going insane. I am so tired of getting in trouble myself, because of something she says or does. I look like the bad kid between us because she only gets caught doing stupid stuff when she is with me, because she is literally an insanely dumb girl. I have a killed headache. I am so exhausted that I can't even function. I have to get ready for work at 4 and I am working til midnight. I am going to pretty much pass out on floor and wall sets. I am wicked stressed out because if I get my phone taken away because of Haley, I will be all fucked up for work. And of course I wont be able to talk to him or any of the other people I always talk to. Luckily she can't take away the computer because it is Kellies lol. Breathe you in and it's all over now.

It has been a couple days. Anthony and I broke up, but ut is much better that way. Now I am seeing somebody else, who shall remain nameless because it is secret. He stayed over last night though. We were up until 5 in the morning messing around. We had sex and literally I am so sore. At 6 this morning I got up and relocated to my own bed cause there wasnt much room on the one we were originally on. He woke me up at 8:30 and said he had to get going, but I didn't want him to leave. So we cuddled for 10 minutes and then he went on his way. I am so tired because I haven't slept so I will be back.

Not much has changed since last night, all except for the fact that I believe that Haley and Ty agreed to try to work things out and give it one more shot. So for at least the time being, everything is good. Anthony is just cute. He is cute and amazing. When I met him the first time, I was not interested at all. But when I got to know who he was I was like wow. I really wish that me and him had some alone time though. We are always with Ty and Haley but that is okay, cause I know if we wanted to we could go find somewhere to be alone. But last night we were with Kellie and Larenzo, so we couldn't just leave. Plus he had to go home pretty early because of his dad. I was really sad about it though :( I wish he could have stayed. I hope I can go see him this weekend. I'd like to make plans to go see him for an entire day and just be with him. Cause when it is just us, or even when Ty and Haley are there, he has his arm around me, or has my hand tightly locked in his. I am the type of person who likes to be around their boyfriend all the time. I like the little thingslike holding hands and kissing and having an arm around me. I'd die to have a car right now, that way I can go see him whenever I want and bring him wherever I want. I am working a lot this week due to training. Tuesday it was 5:30 to 9:30pm, then Wednesday it was 10 to 2pm,this Sunday I am scheduled to work from 6pm to midnight but I could end up staying there til as early as 4am. All for 8 dollars a hour, which isn't really good but the fact that I am saving every single cent I get is. I will save everything I can until I have a car. Period.

Ty was being a real jerk tonight. He made Haley cry and didn't even care. I understand he is going through a lot, but it doesn't need to be shown through this way. When I saw Anthony my heart sank a little bit. I like him. I like him a lot. We didn't talk to entire walk to the park, but when we got there he called me over to sit with him. He proceeded to pinch my boob lol and then asked for a kiss. So after we sat with Kellie, Haley, Ty and Larenzo again. All of a sudden he turns and says "Alright I'm leaving." and I asked where are you going and he said home. He asked for a kiss but I said no lol. I just like to tease him. So when he got up to walk home I got up too and met up with him. We walked to the end of the park, behind a sign where the road was and I kissed him and we ended up making out. So as he left he told me to text him, so that is what I did. When we got back to the car, Haley was upset. All in all Ty was a jerk and treated her like crap. Larenzo tried to help but he couldn't get too far. Larenzo "Spaz" told me that he feels bad for me cause he doesn't know how I will be able to see Anthony without Haley. So instinctively I texted Anthony and said " Spaz was saying how he feels bad that i wont be able to see you cause I don't have a car yet. So I don't know what you want to do, be together or not." Responce: "Larenzo is only saying that cause he wants to get his dick wet." Apparently he is only saying stuff to me cause he wants to fuck me. I knew something was up because he sat in the back seat with me and stared at me and said "How old are you?" and when I said 18 he goes "ohhhhhh damnn" and starts striking convo with me. But the whole time he was looking at me in this was that made me feel weird. Anthony doesn't want to break up. I told him that I really like him and I want him to stick around. He wants to. So I am saving all of my money to buy a car for myself so that I can see him more often. He fell asleep an hour ago, and I miss him already.