your eyes sparkle blue

like nothing could ever hurt you

i'd die to protect

wrap my hands around his neck

i scream

this disease...stay away from him  

he doesn't see yet

snake

keep away

just give me one more day

don't let him become like you

so nieve..

all the things you'll have to see

baby don't believe

the horrible truth of reality

lets live make-believe

lets live in a story

It makes me cry to see you smile

because i know someday it wont be real

your my little cutiepie

i'd never want to let you down

but sometimes in lie your gonna cry

and sometimes things just have to die

and all the things you have to face

one dream less you'll have to chase

will steal one smile less off your face

innocent joys you'll have to part

and adult life you'll have to start

will put more weight on your heart

I didn't wanna tell you this

my sweet little butterfly

but sometimes in life your gonna cry

and sometimes things just have to die

and someday you'll forget

what color even meant

and someday you wont see

that even so you are still free

you'll never be gone of this sickness

but maybe have some relief from it

keep your heart open

and remember

the path you choose

determines the life you lose

I didn't wanna tell you this

my sweet little butterfly

but sometimes in life your gonna cry

and sometimes things just have to die

what do you think? reply? :]

snow is beautiful and clean

it reminds me of when i was little.  

and it smells good 

was good. i felt unusually optimistic and the things that would normally get me down aren't bothering me as much. i do feel bad though. i can tell my dad is really disappointed in me, but its not like he yells or anything. its worse. i can just tell. ahh 

i am a good person. when i do wrong things i feel bad about it. half the people i know don't.  

it just sucks because i feel like my dad is the only person that doesn't like..judge me.. and he respects me and my opinions...he doesnt treat me like a stupid teenager.. and that means alot. i need someone in my life that kinda understands. and i dont know if he knows this but i really really look up to him.. and i try and stick up for him when people say he's weird. i dont think he's weird. actually, i know he's not weird. he's smart. beyond there level of comprehension... people think i'm weird too. but i just hope that i'm smart like my dad. and i dont know why i'm mean to him sometimes. but he does get frustrating with the way he acts. 

when he's mad at me it sucks worse then anybody... i just have this feeling like i let him down. i should have worked harder. i will now but just what the hell was i thinking?? yeah its hard to focus but just. do. it. i know how to make myself. my grades don't have to suck again. i'm fine. i can do it like everybody else. i was stupid to think i'm an exception. i'm not. i'm fine. and normal. i was just lazy. and i can't keep letting people down. i always screw everything up. ahhh. 

its morning. good morning. :D

i'm in a good mood 

I scream

for mself

all the time

my voice carrys itself out

beyond the conscious mind

and through quivers of space

taking place

in evolution

of the sences

overwhelming

execution

we all live

and die 

Im indecisive

and unproductive

Im inefficient

and slightly negligent

I cross the line

with one foot out

and one in

Im too cowardly

to put forward my whole self

my concentration shifts

from one thing to another

and activation dips

below accepted

unappreciated

never achieving what i mean

the most imperfect thing you've ever seen

I'm a very bad machine 

haahhaahaha laaa la la aalaidqawoe

he he i'm in quite a funny mood. tee hee haa hahaha. ohh jeezee i'm bored 

i need someone a person to talk to

someone who cared to love [(enough)(?)(?)]

could it be you?

could it be you?

ha violent femmes i love that song.

it pisses me off but i love it :D :D :D

ohhh! and i got new shoes.  

ohhhkayy well goodnight! 

Tomorrow a new say dawns 

in spite of darkness overhead

i see a cloud

carrying dread and fear

in spite of the howling wind

never fear

the light of the sun will touch your skin

and you will breathe well in the presence of it

he said

i will love you forever

never, no, never ever ever

stop, without hesitation

and she'll lose her train of concentration

again, again, again and again

the yellow and pink apear

contrasting moonlit darkness and fear

it brings me up

and she said

(and the sun egnites) 

she said  

(and the sky is overwhelmed with color)

she said

(lift away dark thoughts in my head)

she said

(and i knew with all of my heart)

she said 

you will always be my love 

yep. so i said fear like 6 times unintentionally i just realised. can someone respond and tell me what they think? even if its something like.. you suck go die. haha. but seriously though :D even if its bad. 

So i dont really know how this website works, but so far i like it alot so i've decided to submit some journal entrys. and i wrote some poems and i'm not sure but i think i'd like to post them... i dont think there very good. but this is the only way i could possibly let them free into the world somehow. i would be too embarrassed to show people i actually know. heh. 

pretty much

my name is emily and i am 16 and i live in a small-ish town in Illinois. i like music alot alot alot. it helps me through everything. and sometimes its just nice to know that everybody expresses themselves in some way or another and this way is the one i relate to the most. i dont really know if that made any sence but ohh well. Thats how i am. i also love art and i love love love drawing. Im thinking of pursuing which as a career but unsurprisingly i haven't made up my mind yet. i am not completely normal i think. but thats okay i would rather be anything then a carbon copy of somebody else. i am really nice and sometimes i can be shy. 

so thats pretty much it :D