I overheard my mom talking about the new school situation. I got mad of course and started grumbling about things. she went into my room and and I wouldn't say anything to her. I told her to sit down on the edge of my bed because I know her back has been hurting (which means it would be better if she sat by the wall). she asked me if I hated her. I didn't answer cause I really didn't know what I should say. if I said no, I wouldn't be completely telling the truth. I looked at her with a blank face then turned away. she left and I didn't say goodnight. I don't think I have any repsect for her. she hasn't done anything with her life that would possibly give me a reason to respect her or even look up to her. especially not her marriage with my father since that ended and left me confused. ah fuck. I don't think I've ever really looked up to my mom. she's fucked up her life. she doesn't have a good job. she's not living in such a great house, and she met some stupid guy, who I secretly have hated for the past 7 years. I need a hero. that would be a first. this was pretty long for being an entry from my phone. my eyes hurt. they're dry....heh. I think my mother is upset. her voice weakend. whatever night

WOW! I haven't been on this account in a while eh? only because of my new SM account diamond lights! its 12:32am as I'm typing this on my little phones keyboard. I just wanted to say...I think it was Interblag's journal I just read... where I though "woah, I know exactly what you mean. I dislike my friends even though I call them friends. (sorry if I got your username wrong btw) anyways I just felt like signing on this account. good night and hopefully ill doze off while thinking about stupid things. !!! Your Song by Four Year Strong.

GODDAMN! I knew it. I have no ride, so I can't go see The Devil Wears Prada today.... I still need to buy the Warped Tour tickets, I can't believe they took my date off the Presale list already!! It's been like 2 days :\ I'm probably gonna try to buy it at the venue. That's the easiest way/cheapest way. I heard it was about 36 bucks if you buy it there. It's about $60 if I buy it on ticketmaster, with all the shipping cost and all!! No TDWP...I can't believe this shit AHHHHH It's really windy. I wish it wasn't. I wanted to walk to the nearest 711 to buy a monster. I've been craving one. Maybe I'll decide to go anyways. But it's way too cold for me to walk there. And I'm too lazy to change into some decent pants. GODDAMN MY MOM IS BEING SUCH A BITCH!! She got a call from her friend asking for some help with finding a building downtown, so she got me to stop whatever I was doing on my computer to help her find the directions when we have two computers in this house. She's expecting me to be all happy about stopping whatever I was doing just to help her?! I mean, I'll help her and all but fuck being HAPPY to help her with shit. So now she's saying "I'M ALWAYS WILLINGLY HAPPY TO DRIVE YOU PLACES WHEN YOU ASK ME, AND WHEN I NEED YOU TO HELP ME WITH SOMETHING YOU'RE ALWAYS GRUMPY!" I didn't say anything back but seriously mom, are you fucking stupid?! Whenever I ask you if you could drive me somewhere I always get the same answer, "No, I'm too tired." Or you'll say I'll think about it and eventually say yes, but you're NEVER happy to drive me places. You always have a mad look on your face and you say I ask for too much. WOW MOM. This is the exact reason to why I wish I no longer lived with you. Don't expect me to live anywhere close to this place after I graduate. Have a nice life, Lady. You never stop complaining. You're such a bitch. I can still hear you complaining. Just drop it. Why the fuck must you always hold a grudge? I obviously don't. Sometimes, I honestly just wish you'd die. But is that too much? You still make me fucking sick!!!

I love Knights Of The Abyss

ITS FRIDAY!!!! But the weekend is going to go by really quickly, and I'm gonna have to go back to school. But then after another week of school it's Spring fucking BREAK! Anyway, today was interesting. I signed up for the Renaissance fair! And I'm gonna be doing face painting, when I got out I saw my K/THRASH out there waiting for his friends. I said hi to him because he didn't see me since there were like 200 people waiting to sign up, and he said HI with a smile on his face and he gave me a big hug. He always gives me big hugs, and I love them because he like pushes my head into his chest and he smells delicious. I can't describe it, but it's really good!!! And we talked for a little, but someone called me so I got out of the crowd and said by. I kept seeing Stunner everywhere. EVERYWHERE. We had a Rally today, and for like most of it I spent my time looking at Stunner :] He's fun to look at. Currently listening to : End Of Days - EmilyRose I wanna see them, sucks they're from the UK though. I FINALLY RAN THE MILE TODAY! THANK GOD. I did it! I got 10:30 and I finally got it over with. I was out of breath because I never run. YESSS CONTINUING THE COUNTDOWN MOTHER FUCKER Warped Tour date #1: 99 days left (OMG DOUBLE DIGITS) Warped Tour date #2: 154 days left (yeah....that's gonna take a while) Well yeah that's about all. Reading Go Ask Alice, upsets me btw, it's a good book though. You just wish that you could help the girl. Safe landing?
OH SHIT I FORGOT, WARPED TICKETS ARE ON SALE! (presale)!!!

Just don't be surprised when the wheels are falling off I'm reading Go Ask Alice now, and it's pretty much one of my favorite books now. It's scary how much I relate to this girl. I'm unsure of what her name is. I'm thinking it's actually Alice? But I don't know. It's really good! Well, it's been more than a year since I've moved here. I remember the exact date and all. And how it happened. The day when I moved....was horrible. I dreaded moving. I remembered crying when she told me. It's sounds pretty lame for me to cry, since it's ONLY change right? But fuck that, I get emotional too. I moved on November 30th....MY BIRTHDAY. It was by far the worst birthday I've ever had. I was in 8th grade I think? And yeah, it's been a year and three months. I still haven't made any friends. I was supposed to go to a school closer by to my new home for my first year of high school, but some things got fucked up, in my favor, and fortunately I'm currently going to a High School that I was supposed to go too...before I found out I was supposed to move that is. I hate this. Making new friends in High School is so fucking difficult. I'm even going to compare it to Rocket Science. And no offense to people when I say this, but the school I'm going to have to transfer to is full of ghetto mexicans I'm sorry, but seriously. I'll have no friends. They'll all just stare at me. I want to run away, go to a place where I can feel happy. Without all of this new school drama, I think I'd be a really happy person. I really do think so. I've never stuck to writing in a Diary/Journal, I'm glad that I actually write this journal everyday. I'm glad that I followed through and still am writing in this. It makes me happy knowing that I kept my promise. I wanna do things in which I can't tell people about, because it embarrasses me. I think I'm gonna continue reading this book. I really want to meet this "Alice" girl. But wait, before I go I want to tell you about my day. It was boring, but this week went by REALLY quickly. I'm glad. I hope the next week will also. Kyle is a great boy. I love his hugs. Stunner dressed up as a bear today....because it was Safari/animal day. It was cute. He still wore those sunglasses though.... I'm gonna edit this because I don't feel like adding a new entry, which tells you that I reread my entries, a lot. I was walking to the starbucks near my school the other day, since my mom picks me up there away from all the busy parents trying to get out of the school's parking lot, and it was weird because passing the yield area where a car turns instead of stopping at the light, I remembered thinking "I wonder if there's anyone behind me" I didn't actually turn to look, but then once I stopped and waited for the signal to turn to the walking man, and turn to see Stunner was three feet to my right. My heart started beating really fast, I don't have a reason why. I don't even know him. What the fucks wrong with me? It seemed like forever just standing there. I really wanted to say something to him but I didn't. The annoying beeping sound of the crosswalk's signal to go started and we walked the same direction. once again we stopped and he looked at me, and examined me for a while. I didn't know what else to do other than doing what I currently was doing, which was texting. I glanced at him to see that he was still looking my way and I just looked back down at my phone. Once again the beeping sound began and I noticed from 2 minutes ago that he was in a hurry because he was walking really fast, so he sped off leaving me a nice view of his ASS. It was odd....I liked the feeling of only me and him standing there. Us two, even though there were many many cars around us, it felt nice. I would like for something like that to happen again, only this time hoping he'd say something to me, even if he only asked me for the time, I'd be happy with that. That's it... GOOD BYE I'm still trying to do anything I can to prevent this from happening

WELL IM CURRENTLY PUTTING IN MY 4g AND IT FUCK HURTS IM SUCH A PUSSY YES FINALLY it's stretched lmfaoo that fucking hurt more than the last time!! I HATE THIS MY ears all hot feeling now. Well anyways, I can't wait until spring break This week + one more week, then I'm on a break!! I can't waittt. It also means one week closer to Warped Tour NOW I'M CONTINUING THE COUNTDOWN! Warped Tour date #1: 101 days left Warped Tour date #2: 156 days left ROFL WOW HELLA DAYS Okay so UHM I went to the mall today after school and finally got my AP MAGAZINE :D It's the issue with ATL on the cover, and they're covered in paint. I was going to cut out some of the stuff, but I got lazy because theres a lot in need to be cut out. Well I'm bored I need to pee And I have some shit homework in English about Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. That reminds me, we're gonna be having a Renaissance Fair on May 9th, I get to miss school that day because of the fair. This sucks, but at the same time it's pretty cool. I don't want to build booths and dress up! GAY Bye I HATE MY GENERATION

Currently listening to: Destroy - This Son Of Yours Mhmm, they're a good band. I have to admit they're even better live. Well my day was REALLY boring. I probably yawned 230920392 times throughout the whole day. God I'm really in an angry mood right now. And five minutes ago I was feeling fine. Nothing happened that could have possibly cause my mood change. FUCK! I really want to meet Daniel !! Even more now. As the days pass by my wanting for him grows and grows. I heard he was one of the greatest people you could ever meet. I WANT I WANT. :] And everyone kept asking me, "WHERE'S YOUR GREEN?!" And I don't even talk to some of the people much! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY KNOW I'M SINGLE?! I could have a boyfriend for all that they know, which is not much. Do I really seem like I'm single? Ah whatever. I just needed to get that out of my system. I'm just gonna continue watching That 70's Show now. Have a good day. Here I am

Well, today was interesting. I got five hours of sleep, so I'm fucking tired right now. I finished my Energy Vitamin water today. I'd like some more. Uh, after school Bean walked up to me and hugged me. He didn't let go! It was a tight hug and it lasted for five minutes. It doesn't seem that long when I say it, but it felt really long. He even talked to me while he hugged me, that's cute haha. We started walking to the hill/clocktower. And he had his arm around me and held me rofl. I forgot to add this : HIM: Hahah are you too cool for me now? ME: Yeah, don't even talk to me anymore HIM: but i love you :[ ME: .....I'm kidding, I love talking to you. ROFL he told me he loved me?! He was being very I guess flirtatious today? IDK I had a dream that Him and my good friend that I hate sometimes hugged, and he kissed her on the cheek, and then he kissed her on the lips. And i was like freaking out in my mind saying wtf?! And I was like "D00D YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOU NEED TO TELL HIM YOU GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH YOUR BF" and she was like " I WILL" after that I woke up. ... I DON'T LIKE HIM! I can't like him. I won't. I saw Stunner today. When doesn't he look cute? He dresses cute everyday. Even though it's a casual look, I like it. Gray long sleve loose shirt. It' was like a button up, but it didn't have a collar. And he wore blackish pants? With those big sunglasses on again ! He's so cute. I hate him. I have no homework I think. Other than my usual reading calender, and math homework. But my math homework is due friday. THAT REMINDS ME HOLY SHIT I GOT A B ON MY MATH TEST I TOOK FRIDAY! WTF?! And somehow I got an F on the test a couple weeks before. LMFAO screw me over. Let's see. Countdown time Warped Tour date #1: 103 days left. (3 more days until double digit) Warped Tour date #2: 158 days left. I don't think I have anything else to say today. Other than I want to try Super Smash Bros Brawl. I have Melee, but I wanna play Brawl!! My moods today: Pissed, happy, sad, happy, content. I really don't want to go confess my sins today. My moms making me. This is why I hate being Catholic. She pushes these things on me when I believe that God has already forgiven me. Why do I have to tell some fucking priest my sins. It's not like he's a messenger. Fuck it. Good bye. I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.

I'm really starting to think that I'm bipolar? :/ Lame! I really hate how my moods go crazy. I just wanted to say that. And I don't feel like continuing my countdown today. So I'll do it tomorrow. I was really angry earlier. Then I got really happy. Then I got sad. Now I'm just okay. It's weird. And my emotions have been going crazy for a while now, I just have never thought about how weird it was. I've been more paranoid than ever. What's next? Schizophrenia ?! I heard voices once. I'm glad it's not a regular thing. I don't think I'm ever going to do weed. Since it induces the chances of being bipolar or whatever?! AH. Currently listening to: City Of Angels Cakewalk - Arsonists Get All The Girls. :D byebye gross I have no one to talk to!