plasticskies YES BFFLS PLEASE rofl last word: PARAMORE STILL SUCKS

...byes. (DAMN YOU FOR NOT LETTING ME FIT THAT INTO THE TITLE :[ ) ANOTHER ENTRY And it's only been two hours. I'm currently listening to The Scene Aesthetic....hehe :] guilty pleasure, yes? Something most of my friends don't know is that I have a horribly low self esteem. I don't tell people and sometimes it comes around and bites me in the ass, great :]. I'm far from perfect But I wish I was. Someone come over here to Nor Cal and save me please :[ I need a real best friend. I don't have one. Well I do, but I've really never met her so does that really count? How is it that I can know so much about one person and yet they could be living so far away? We have the time to realize that we were wrong I just can't stand this anymore so I'll put this in bold; ATTENTION ALL "PARAWHORES" aka naive people that are head over heels for this overly exposed band called Paramore. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE learn what actual music is! Listen to something with DEEP lyrics. Stop thinking Paramores lyrics are pure genius when you have no idea what that is! The only reason why Paramore has so many fans is because of MTV. The band members of this band need to learn how to play their instruments, and the lead singer needs to learn how to sing. HALEY WILLIAMS IS FUG, and needs to die. She's not pretty and stop looking up to her young girls, she has done nothing but made it big in a materialistic world full of ignorance. GET IT TOGETHER. Stop copying her haircut because it looks like a mop. You're not cool/hardcore/scene just because you wish to resemble Haley. I think someone that's actually pretty is JESSICA ALBA. A band with real talent is, in my opinion, All Time Low, or The Devil Wears Prada. Check them out girls, maybe you'll finally get a taste of what real music is like. Paramore shouldn't be considered as music, more like noise. .....HAHAHAH RANT :] If you wish to talk to me email me :o gh3770blaster@yahoo.com oh and by the way for those of you that don't know what my username means, I'll happily explain it. 5k1nn7wr1575 just says SKINNYWRISTS but I substituted some of the letters with words. And the reason for the username is because I have skinny wrists? hahaha there is no real reason other than that. If I could change my username, I'd change it to....hmmm lets see diamondlights if that's available :] I think I'm just gonna keep rambling. Because this is fun :] Uhm well theres this little girl that always gives me gifts since I've known her since her birth, and she's 7 I think. So this Valentines day she gave me a card with Hannah Montana on the front, and it says "YOU SHINE, VALENTINE" I hate Hannah Montana but I think it's cute that she'd save me one :]. It's always the little things that count. I text too much o: it's not my fault though, I have a sidekick. It's like a texting machine, and I just put it to use :] My foots falling asleep, again ROFL. Is this healthy? I don't want to die. Uhm yeah yeah yeah. I tend to hide my true feelings with fake smiles and put up a front. Right now, I'm miserable. But no one actually knows, other than the people reading this, which I think is really sweet of you :] even though you're just trying to pass time I need a new life Still miserable, but now just trying to find things to do

We cough the poison out !!! TheBlueNote, I recently read your journal and I couldn't stop reading it :] And so when I went to check on them, I noticed how you mentioned my journal!!! SO I would like to say; THANK YOU :] it comes from the heart? haha and I loveee all time low Anyways my day has been ruined thanks mom you're the best !!!!! If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm. I'm on my computer now...and I've received some disturbing news. I'm probably not going to the same school next year. I'll miss all my friends, I can let go of them :[ I just can't go to a different school. Change sucks Time sucks They are my enemies. It's 7:04PM right now and my life still hasn't gotten any better. luck loves me not tonight...

Well then...this is my first entry from my phone. Its currently 12 in the morning and I don't really feel tired yet. I'm gonna cut the crap and start being real. I'm going to show how I really feel I want to cry. I want to hurt the people around me. I hate being who I am. I'm not happy with myself. Things probably won't get better. And stop fucking stealing things from me you filthy skanks. I've had it with you. Go cry to your 'biffle' cause I really do not give a fuck about you anymore. Cause from now on I really don't want to hear about your little sob stories. Stop telling me things that you know I don't want to hear. I want to meet a boy that's not a jerk and is down to earth. I secretly have an upcoming obsession with Alex Gaskarth, even though I know my bffl wants him to be her husband. I don't think I'm pretty.... at all. A better word would be ugly. I'm currently tearing up. I still have that one weakness even though I tell people I don't care. I can't really say what that weakness is because it hurts that much. I haven't cried in a while. Maybe this is why I'm all emotional. I hate expressing my feelings to people so that's why I have this journal. My supposed best friend lives 6 hours away from me and we've never met.... I really wished she lived here....she's the only person worth talking to. But I swear one day we will meet. I haven't talked to this girl who I swear is my twin in 5 months I think? She's not literally my twin but we just have so much in common. She said she needed a break from the computer and she hasn't returned since. Its actually been like 7 months but she talked to me 5 months ago because she missed me? And its lame because she wasn't the same person I knew before. Its sad when people change :[ The only person I like talking to, my bffl, only goes on the computer on the weekends now because of school, and I can barely talk to her. Its a shame :[ I miss summer, even though I love winter, since summer is the only time I get to rest. School sucks. its been 20 minutes and I still don't like being who I am, but I feel a lot better since I got that all out in the open. So anyway, I really don't know what to say anymore. I don't know how I'm going to finish highschool without completely having my self esteem destroyed. There's nothing to do... And its completely quiet. :[ Maybe its best if I just lie down and think about things, or clear my mind. Hahaha like that's possible. FUCK

FOUR YEAR STRONG blah I didn't go see them! theyre almost gonna start playing their set as we speak WHY DIDN'T I GO I'm so retarded FUCK! And my friend Chris is at the show right now, and he's saying there's a lot of hot scene boys just to tease me. I don't know if he's serious. But he probably is! AH I hate this! I thought there weren't gonna be any hot guys so I didn't bother going. Not to sound stupid, but shows meaning music + hot boys! Underline the plus hahaha Oh goddd I should have gone. FUCK THIS. Now I"m just gonna replay their songs on my ipod over and over grrrr. or I can just get on Imeem since I'm not on my laptop atm so I can't really use itunes! but anyways I'm gonna go see Arsonists Get All The Girls on the 22nd DURING BREAK if it doesn't get canceled. And I'm saying that because they're playing at The Nova Hall, and every event that is held there ALWAYS gets canceled, which is really gay! But I don't know... if I don't go to that one, I might just go watch Dance Club Massacre or w/e since my friends are going. Or I could just go see North Of The Woods! But I want to see Arsonists because they're playing with Moria + My Children My Bride which are pretty good bands! :] And NOTW isn't playing with any band I like. DAMMIT chris needs to text faster because I'm sick of waiting for his replies. ROFL I NEED MORE DETAILS ON THESE BOYS. He's not gay....I make fun of him for seeming to be gay, but he's not :] Anywayssss lets see I love playing badmitton in pe! ROFL well usually I'm in a group with two of my guy friends, michael and david and they're pretty funny. For a couple of little scene boys haha. THEYRE FUCKING HILARIOUS actually ROFL my stomach hurts every time we play cause I laugh so hard! I just sneezed, it feels satisfying! HOLY CRAP 15 minutes just went by so fast IDK what i'm doing anymore ew I have to shower when I always feel so clean! hahaha I'm lazy. Anywayss today was okay. Funny at times, and I listened to some music at lunch classes were boring except for the last 30 minutes of p.e haha my feet are cold again! I want to cut my hair kinda eh Idk I'm bored....cold.....not tired actually. THIS is WEIRD. I'm actually not tired for once rofl wtf? I have so much energy! but throughout the whole school day I was extremely tired. Well anywayyy I think I'm done for today I don't feel interesting atm. So I'll probably come back with a more interesting entry later on late :] xoxox

We're all humannnn. :] Well....nothing special happened today. But being bored. Once again. hahaha. I don't know... I didn't have a good day, but I didn't have a bad day. It was just another day I guess. I'm trying to cut down on the shit talking. haha. I've had enough talking about everyone like I have the right to judge them so harshly. But I can't help it if I slip once in a while and say something bad about a person I just can't stand. So...another day another disappointment. Meaning my Babycakes shirt still hasn't arrived. :[ I'm emailed customer service and asked them if they can track it for me, since it's been like 3 weeks since I've ordered those shirts and they said it takes only about 4 days for it to come. But they also said to wait up for two weeks until asking about it, and I have waited. I just can't take it anymore. I hope they don't rip me off. I don't think they will, but I still have that feeling in my gut that says those shirts are never going to arrive. My mom + dad are getting really impatient...well they're getting worried. They spent 20 dollars each on a shirt and I bought two. ....Still can't wait until they come though. I DESERVE A FREE SHIRT FOR HAVING TO WAIT SO LONG. Chainsaw brutality, tornado strength. Hahahha I'm listening to TDWP again...and I change the topic so quickly. Well I still can't wait until Warped Tour....I haven't asked about it yet. I'm waiting until March, when the tickets start selling, and then I'll ask my mom about it sometime soon. I HAVE TO GO. Its a need not a want. I'll shrivel up and die if I don't go :[ I still can't get enough of ATL's "Remembering Sunday" though! It's such a beautiful song. It's lyrics are truly wonderful and have a whole lot of meaning. Especially Alex Gaskarth's beautiful voice! I can't get enough of his voice. It's just beautiful, and to think a person can actually sing like that. :] " Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling I'm calling at night I don't mean to be a bother But have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams And it's driving me crazy, it seems I'm gonna ask her to marry me" awww

On my part. ;] They've been moving up my music list!! I think it's safe the say that I'm in love with that band now. Hmmm....sooo today was pretty much like this; woke up, BORING went to school, BORING learned, BORING chilled at lunch, BORING learned some more, BORING went home, BORING now I'm typing about how boring my damn day was. Well...other than that the weather was hot rofl I hate the hot weather, I'd rather be freezing than burning any day!! I finished my English assignment which was thought to be hard but at the end it was only about getting my opinions across. I've been listening to All Time Low's "Remembering Sunday" a lot. That song seriously has some of the best lyrics. It gets it's point across, but it's not too obvious. If you know what I'm trying to say. Everytime I listen to it I want to start sobbing while singing along. BUT NOPE NOPE I DON'T CRY, I'M STRONG. ;D JK! I cry. hahaha Anyway, for the past couple of days I was unsure of which show I should go to, Cause there are just a bunch of shows around the same time and I don't want to waste my money seeing all of them when I know there is one I prefer out of all of them. I guess that would have to be the Arsonists Get All The Girls Show... I was going to go see Four Year Strong because I like their music :] and because my friend wanted me to go with him. But it's on a thursday and I don't really feel like feeling super tired the next day getting ready for school. I really hope I can go to Warped Tour...I've decided to make Daniel Williams, [MY FUTURE HUSBAND] a braclett....now I've got to gather all my courge up and ask him what his favorite color is. I have no idea how I'm going to make this braclet, but I'd do it for him :] It seems so silly I know, but I can't help it! He's just sooo perfect. He better not let me down!. That would be so cool seeing him wearing the braclet I make him all the time. That would seriously make my life. LIFE You don't know how much that would mean to meee. ahh :/ too bad he probably would only say "thanks..." and put it away in his pocket or something. I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up. Dreaming big could always let me down. But being surprised with something exciting...well that's just damn great :] I like typing this all out...even though I know that no one ever reads these things because of the length but it's fun getting this all out. I don't have a person I can really share all my thoughts with. Even my group of close friends. It doesn't feel right. I need someone new, exciting.....someone like Daniel :] xoxox PS, stop saying that you're under maintenance, songmeanings. It's annoying because I would like to add entries everyday! :]

Hahaha I couldn't think of a title other than the obvious ;] YES YES, I'd give up everything to marry Daniel Williams from TDWP RIGHT NOW. Yes RIGHT NOW. I don't care, He seems so sweet. I can't wait to meet him at the Warped Tour/or their own tour. But I'm just not sure I can go. Hahaha well anyways, I'm pretty tired, just gave up on finishing homework once again. But I tired, and that's good enough for me !!! CAUSE I TRIED :] But anyways I'm watching Project Runway right now and I loveeee it. Christian is my favorite for sure, I hope he wins. If not I'll probably throw a fit. Well anyways today was interesting. THE MOMENT OF THE DAY: So some stupid freshman, no offense, made a sign for a boy to ask him to go to the Sadies Dance with her. She made a hugeee long sign that said "Steven, even though you're not going to Sadies, can I still ask if you would like to go with me?" Something along the lines of that. He saw the sign (Steven) So did everyone else which is why you could here laughter starting to get louder and louder. While everyone was laughing, I was just trying to figure out who the hell Steven was! I still am not sure of who that boy was now. But anyways, some "Juggalo" as they call themselves (but most people call them wiggers that like The Insane Clown Posse) comes out behind the line of people holding the sign and manages to rip the sign in half and runs away with it! WHICH MADE ME LAUGH REALLY HARD BTW. Everyone started clapping and laughing really hard. Looking over at my mystery boy...he was laughing and clapping like he was a Royal King that was very impressed with the act that has happened upon him. He soon went off to find the sign and brought it back to the immature group of Freshman that was apart of the act, and no one would take the sign back probably because Steven REJECTED the chick that asked him to Sadies, [HAHAHA] And so my mystery boy gets pissed of asking who wants the torn sign back and throws it on the ground angrily and walks away in a cute way :]!!! And it was just an interesting day, I need to talk to him, but I can't ! I'm shy rofl. But yeah yeah :] Anyways that's all for todayyyyy xoxox

I'm in a better mood right now?! HA. I just feel like talking to someone. SPILLING MY GUTS ALL OVER THE FLOOR. So vulnerable. Anyway boyyyyyyy is he adorable !!! I've noticed that most boys at my school are named KYLE. It's quite amusing actually, rofl. So there's this really cute boy, I have no idea who he is, but he's really cute. He's got great taste in fashion and hes got blonde hair. OH GOD BOY YOU MAKE ME PANIC EVERY TIME I SEE YOU !!! Not really, but you do make me do a quadruple take dr00lz. I want you on me lmfaooooo. But seriously that boy is soooooo damn cute. He's such a goober. DAMN ME AND MY TASTE IN BOYS. He seems to be looking my way sometimes. I wonder if it's me! I don't know his name I don't know if I want to know his name. Sometimes looking at something beautiful is better than touching it. I'M NOT REFERRING TO ANYTHING NASTY BTW. lol. ugh hes so cute but i don't know him boohoo. :/ xoxo get at me!!!! ^_______^

WELL THEN I think I'm going to start making entries everyday. Since I have nothing better to do, and no drive when it comes to school work/homework. That's one thing I would love to work on. It NEEDS to improve. I want to succeed in life, but weakness is holding me back. I hate this. Not knowing whats going to happen, not knowing which direction I'm going next. I find that listening to TDWP does help. It's like something I can finally relate to. Since I am religious myself. But I don't know...I have no drive. I'll procrastinate, and give up. I find myself not doing any work simply because I don't feel like it. I have no better reason, and yet I can't help but just put things aside. :( Moving on.... I wish I was a lot older, like 18. Freedom, finally done with school. I have a life. hahaha. Much more responsibilities, I know. But I really can't stand having my mom nag at me any longer. So many years of her nagging its finally setting in. Sometimes I wonder if something will ever happen to me, that'll get me known, famous, whatever. Like will I ever make it big in a band? Will I ever randomly get into acting, modeling, designing? I ask myself these questions everyday. No one has the answer. And I'm awaiting my destiny. Today was a decent day. The girl I hang out with most didn't come to school, so I was stuck with the guys for today. Hahah :) it was an interesting experience. I chilled with a boy a little more, and he's pretty chill. He's cute, that doesn't hurt. I don't know?! Nothing will happen, Nothing ever does. I see a cute boy and it ends up being ruined something so little. It's horrible. The same thing always happens to me. I'm possibly changing high schools, which I'm dreading. Since making new friends in high school is NOT a simple deal. Hahaha telling myself everything is going to be okay does not work. I finally realized it's not going to be okay. Life is such a game. and I'm losing. I give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sunny skies, windy, laughter. It's annoying. I wish I was just happy, like SERIOUSLY happy for once !!! It's been so long that I've actually been truly happy, if I do think about it. I don't know.... the last time I was truly happy was probably in 3rd grade. Before my parents were divorced. I try to make it seem as if I don't care what happened to their relationship....but secretly I do care. It hurts a lot. I'm always curious of what it would be like seeing/living with my dad now. But I don't know, it's not like they're going to magically get back together. Things don't ever happen that way, unlike in the Movies. I'm done for today. xoxo