I want to say something.... I just wanted to say that I noticed during the night time...I get more emotional. Like I think a lot more during the night. About life and things like that. About what things will be like when the world ends, if the world ends. And what the afterlife is like. These things I don't really want to know, because I fear that if I really want to know something will happen to show me what it'll be like. During the day time, I have many distractions that cause me not to think about anything other than what the teachers want me to think about. That's why I don't like school They're totally brainwashing us. Feeding us so much bullshit we don't have time to even think about our life. School is supposed to get us ready for the real world right? Then why does it teach you about stuff that you won't really need after you graduate? High school seriously never fucking ends. I hate it. I really hope something great happens to me. Like I join a band, and I get out there and I live a good life. :] It's probably not going to happen. I just want to marry Daniel

I don't have much to say today. I just wanted to add an entry because I have nothing else to do. There's a show today...but there's only one good band. And I don't even listen to them much. Whatever I'll just go to the one on the 7th. I'd rather not waste my money :] Still listening to All Time Low :] I can't seem to stop. Next thing I know this band will be etched into my brain. HOLY SHIT I still can't wait until warped tour. I think I'm gonna start counting down now. I think I might go to both dates if I can get a ride for the SF date. But if I can't then I'll just go to the Mountain View date, even though I really would like to go to both! Okay days until warped tour date #1 (6-21-08): 112 days :[ rofl! thats a long way to go wow. I still can't wait though! Days until warped tour date #2 (8-15-08) EVEN FARTHER AWAY: 167 days. WOW That's really......far away. :\ I'm suffering ! Well I guess I'll just try to put it off as long as I can, and before I know it, the time will come and I'll be surrounded by my 3 favorite boys? :[ It's not that easy! I need to give up wishing on 11:11

Your words don't mean shit to me. ;] I don't really feel like typing much But I have a lot to say!! UHM lets see First lunch was fun. He looked cute today. Very cute. Then thrash was looking at me quite a lot, and smiling when I was talking to him. he has really nice eyes and such a cute smile omg :[ I fall for those things a lot! Stunner was in my 7th period today...he was printing a progress report? I couldn't stop looking at him!! He was looking so cute and adorable aww. His shirt said "I LOVE FREE SHIT" hahaha ! I want him. I noticed he has bad teeth. But it's okay. His face is really nice I couldn't stop looking at him! I'd turn away and end up finding myself looking back at him! Well thank god its friday, right? :] After school some crazy shit happened. I don't really feel like typing it But lets just say we were talking about satan while we were on the swings, and suddenly the sky got all dark and everything got cold and windy! and leaves were everywhere. So we got really scared and started running LOL it was funny now that I look back at it but it was really scary o: Anyways....i'm not in the mood to type much today so good night! trying not to get my hopes up

I'm sure we could forget it cause this black hearted wedding's enough to start a panic. We were clean for three days when you were running down the block. Eleven minutes sober now we're counting down the clock

THAT'S RIGHT BITCH. rofl! most of my titles are song lyrics if you haven't noticed yet :] Well...I don't usually do this but I'm bored!! And this is pretty clever. FIVE THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE 1. First off I'll start out with you! You're a loser. I think I secretly hate you. I can't stand how you try to get so much attention by telling boys someone called you ugly so they can show you some pity by saying "You are pretty". HAHAHA Too bad you haven't gotten that answer from anyone, even though you've tried too many times. You're not that pretty, and okay i'll say this since you insist you are. YOU'RE FAT. Maybe you should start running in PE and stop complaining about it you stupid whore. You won't listen to me when I'm telling you he's just gonna screw you over again. FUCK YOU THEN, stop telling me about your problems if you'll just end up telling me "IDK." After I try helping you. Fuck what is your problem? 2. Thanks dude. You're so nice :]. You're probably the only guy that hasn't said something bad to me yet. Californian boys are such jerks. But you've proved them wrong huh? :]. I don't have a thing for you. But you sure are cute. You're so funny and I love talking to you. And hanging out with you at shows and lunch! I can't believe that you actually talk to me. Hahaha. I wish you'd stop doing drugs though. I mean...I guess weed is okay. But fuck, stop doing crack and e. That shit ain't good for you. But overall you're a great guy! Any girl would be lucky to be with you. 3. AHHHH why are we so alike? And yet we live 6 hours away? It's horrible, honestly. BFFL. hahaha

Uhm well...I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. School. It's going to be weird going back to school after not going for about a week. No I didn't skip, I had a break, winter break. Ah school is such a burden. I've been a vegetarian for about 10 months now, but lately everywhere I go I've been hearing about fried chicken, which makes it really tempting because my favorite food used to be fried chicken. What is this? Is someone trying to test me. Well I'll prove them wrong, I HAVE to last one year before I start eating meat again. I don't really want to eat it again but I miss the taste :[. I don't agree with the business, not that they're killing animals. But HOW they're doing it. So basically I'm thinking about organic chicken, and organic chicken ONLY? But I don't know, I really want to see how long I can last with giving in :] I read a lot of Journals everyday, and I ask myself "Why is my life so boring compared to some others?" Seriously...my life is nothing compared to theirs! I do nothing all day, and nothing is thrown my way, when they have such random events thrown at them. I'm a boring person now.....I guess? So yeah, I didn't finish any homework over the break, and I don't even know what I need to do, honestly :D I hope nothing is due on monday. Well what I'm really worried about is this project in English, we have a group of 7 people and we're making up our own city of 500 square miles. It somehow has something to do with society. And we have a lot of requirements like environment, social security, government, and etc. I'm doing environment. And I don't really have a clue of how I'm gonna write it up? hahaha. This is pretty gay. Okay so.....I have another show to add to my list of shows, but I'm too lazy to go back and edit it so I'll just add it here since I'm typing this up atm. MARCH 7TH @ THE PBSJ Catherine This Son Of Yours And stuff :] There's a bunch of bands playing, and its a benefit show? But yeah, I liked old Catherine, but This Son Of Yours is a pretty good local band! And yeah, I'm just gonna go and enjoy hanging out with friends. Basically it's one time I can get my mind off of school :\ People keep telling me about their problems, and it's getting fucking annoying. CAUSE GUESS WHAT I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR LIFE All I'm trying to do is play my game of life, so pleaseeee stop telling me about your problems. I tell them "I DONT CARE" every time, but they all say "YOU'RE A BITCH, you're listening anyways" DAMN! I hate my 'friends' Soooo I want my lip pierced. ROFL I sound like a fucking poseur, maybe so. But I'm not one. I just want a fucking hole in my lip. But my moms not really budging. I've asked her like 2930829 times already and I got a "NO GO ASK YOU DAD" My dad actually said "maybe" But then he asked his friends for their opinion, and well..that maybe changed to a "NO THATS RIDICULOUS" WTF? It's a hole that closes eventually. Shut up and let me get it done. They said I can do it at 16. But I can't fucking wait. hahaha Whatever. I'm gonna get it done somehow. Oh and I'm planning to stretch my ears to at least a 00g :] I'm at 6g right now, but I need to stretch to a 4g right now. It's healed. Since it's been like more than month since I've last stretched my ear. I think i want to go to like 1/2 or 5/8 but I don't know if I can take the pain! Well lets see....I'm just going to do my roots homework later, and nothing else. Unless I remember that I have something due tomorrow. I can't wait till spring break. Which starts on March 24th! :] I probably can't go see TDWP (my husbands band) ;] but It's okay I guess....I'll just keep telling myself a lot worse can happen. I'm still hoping on warped tour though I really pray to god nothing goes wrong :[ Yeah I still kept my ticket band thing from the Arsonists show. I won't throw it away :D I'm gonna survive the rest of the school year with memories from that show rofl!!! it's not that much but I'll try to survive off of it. LATE!

GAYYYY I'm in a bad mood now no where to go i was gonna go see dance club massacre tonight but no ride :/ i feel like hurting someone later.

WOWWWW Today was sooooo fucking fun :D I saw Arsonists Get All The Girls and they were so fucking brutal! I think my respect for them has gotten much higher. The lead singer was pretty hot ;) And I also saw Moria and My Children My Bride and they were fucking sick too! But the other bands were kinda boring eh. But anyways I had a really good time. And I feel better I guess. Hahaha I don't think its gonna last very long but whatever, I got to hang out with this guy some more and he's really cool Dshdjhdsj I loved today :) Good night!

Okay so I lied about that being the last entry. Well todays a different day so I guess I'm not lying! Uhm yeah its about 2am and I can't sleep. I'm gonna say I feel worse now. I've been crying for like an hour haha. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. I need someone to talk to. :[ Help me.