whats your full and legal name? stephanie nicole james. are you confused about anything? yes. more than anything. i wish i knew what i wanted. and knew what was going to come out of it. what are you doing this weekend? friends. boyfriend. mom. who did you comment last? i think lindsay. what will you be doing in a hour? hopefully showering. but i probably won't do that today. wheres your phone? living room. do you like anyone? yeah. have you ever had your heart broken? close, but no. what made you upset last? myself. are you having second thoughts about anything? sometimes i do. but i know i have to try. if i keep asking myself, what if, i'll go crazy. who are you suppose to hangout with today? friends. who are all girls. which means drama. and means i'll probably get called a whore or some shit like that. whats it like outside? looks like it might be a nice, cloudy day. is there anyone of the opposite sex on your mind? well, yeah. when did you see a rainbow last? awhile ago. i love rainbows. do you want to change anything? my surroundings. whats your favorite song(s)? i love i can tell-saosin. what about colors? blue.red.black. why did you cry last? myself. do you miss someone? yes. do you get along with your siblings? kinda, yeah. what did you do today? i woke up. coughing. where did you get the shirt your wearing? target. do you want to fix things with anyone? sometimes i do. but it's best this way. are you tan? kinda, yeah. is anything annoying you right now? yeah. has anyone ever hurt your feelings? duh. are you emotional? very. have you ever had a black eye? no. how old was the last person you kissed? twenty. what do you want? my sore throat to be gone. do you want someone you can't have? i want johnny depp. i think that's one. are kisses on the forehead cute? yes. are you in a fight with anyone? i believe not. do you have any bruises? from what? of course. and who knows. where'd you get the shoes your wearing? not wearing any shoes. have you ever climbed a mountain? sugarloaf count? haha. what did you eat today? not a thing yet. i'm not really that hungry. how about drink? i drank water when i got up. are you wearing eye liner? no. i hardly do. especially since it's summer. what colors your hair? brown. have you ever snuck out and got caught? no. i'm sneaky. what is your last alcoholic beverage you had? beer. whats your favorite kind of juice? orange. cranberry. are you lazy? yes. whos your favorite celebrity? johnny depp.

1) If you married the last person you kissed what would your last name be? ...stephens. odd. 2) What did you do this afternoon? i watched titantic. 3) what was the last thing that made you laugh? the super funnel. haha. 5) Can you take a bra off with one hand? yeaahh. 6) Can you use chopsticks? haha. that, i cannot do. 7) How old were you when you lost your first tooth? i don't remember that. 8) Were you a hyper or mellow kid? hyper. 9) Why did you throw up last? strawberry pie. gross. 11) What's for dinner? i had lasanga. 12) Ever been to the Statue of Liberty? nooo. 13) Voting for Hillary? she's out of the election, silly. 14) How many e-mail addresses do you have? far too many. i cannot remember them all. yahoo, msn. shittt. 15) Do you HAVE to have brand name stuff? hhaha hell, no. 16) Last time you washed your hair? today. 17) Is the last person you kissed attractive? to me, he's very. 18) Do you like Oreos? yesss. double stuffed, please. 19) Do you send out Thank-You cards? sometimes, yeah. 20) Can you ice skate? horribly. 21) Do you have a brother? one. 22) Do you know how to change a diaper? yeah. 23) Do you flip people off while driving? no. 24) What color is your car? no car. 25) What are you listening to? three days grace. 27) Who's your favorite American Idol judge? simon, he tells it the way he is. 28) Do you like to grocery shop? love it. 29) What kind of mood are you in? content. 30) Last time you cleaned? today. 31) What is the last song you listened to? let it die. 32) What pills do you take daily, and what do they do? paxil-anxiety. 33) Do you like anyone? yesssir. 34) Do you do your own laundry? yes. i don't trust anyone else with my laundry, but myself. 35) How many people have you kissed in 2008? plenty. way too many. 36) Are you single/taken? taken. 37) Baths or showers? showers. 38) Do you take out the trash? yeah. sometimes. 39) What are you doing this weekend? i don't really know. tommorow i believe i'm hanging out with JANE. finally. 40) Are you getting engaged anytime soon? no, no, no, no. 41) Paper or Plastic? plastic. 42) Do you watch "The Hills"? nooo. 43) Last CD played? CD? whew. who knows. i think guns n roses. 44) What did you do last Saturday night? i got drunk. 45) What are you thinking about right now? sore throat. 46) Which one of your friends is going to have the cutest baby? meeeee, haha. 47) What was the last thing you drank? water. 48) Wearing any bracelets? nope. 49) Last thing someone bought for you? jody bought me pizza:] 50) What are you going to do now? possibly another survey.

Your ex really needs you at 3am & you have a way to her/his house would you go? yeah. if he really needs me that bad. he's a nice guy. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? today. i want to punch people in the face quite frequently. What was the last thing you cried about? being sick. i was so frustrated with myself. How many hours did you sleep last night? i went to bed at 2...got up at 7. that is about five. Have you ever cried while in the shower? yeah. Could you go a day without eating? if i was super occupied and didn't remember, maybe. Do you smoke weed regularly? nope. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you? yeah. When was the last time you were disappointed? 2 days ago. i thought he was above that. Do you miss your past? sometimes. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? yeah. Have you ever slept over with a member of the opposite sex without having sex? yes. Do you think your ex still likes you? i don't care, really. Honestly, if you could go back 5 months and change something would you? no. Have you ever regretted letting someone go? sometimes i do, but i know there was a reason for it. Is there anyone who doesn't like you? eh, probably. Do you know anyone in the military currently? yes. What's the last thing you put in your mouth? water. Do you believe exes can be friends? some. not all. feelings are feelings. Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff? yeah. i have someone. Do you think people think bad things about you? probably. When's the last time you held hands with someone? last night. Did you ever lose a best friend? yes. for good reason. Do you plan on kissing the last person you kissed again? yes. i hope he's planning on it toooo:] Do you know what you're wearing tomorrow? haha no. Is there something you wish you could tell someone but you can't? sometimes. but i know i could tell him and not care. Do you crack your knuckles? no. i can't. Do you own big sunglasses? no. Have you ever been to Canada? no. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? i like it LOUD. Are you a morning person or a night person? night. i wish i was a morning person though. Do you believe that there is always room in your heart for your first love? yeah. i hope so.

hi my name is: stephanie. when I’m nervous I: fidget a lot. bite my nails. shake. think too much. thoughts race. by this time next year: i'll be in college and..hopefully happy. last night: i layed around. again. were you a planned baby? noo. were you the first? no. do you have low self esteem? i don't think so. do you get depressed about things easily? no. it takes A LOT. but, when it hits, it hits. are you happy right now? no. are you comfortable with the way you look? sometimes, i'm usually not though. describe your hair: messy. frizzy. down. damp. ever been kicked out of a bar? no. ever been arrested? technically, yeah. do you prefer indoors or outdoors? outdoors usually. do you like walking in the rain? sure. do you like thunderstorms? i'm afraid of the thunder, not the lightning, haha. messed up. are you a vegetarian? no. meat lover. anything you absolutely could eat forever? not forever. i tend to get tired of food. what is your favorite dessert? cheesecake. apple pie. do you want to get married? no. if it happens, it happens. i just don't want to. have you ever been in love? i ammm.

Is there a girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you? mother.renee. Where was the first time you ever kissed the last person you kissed? probably at my house. i just don't feel like kissing him right now. it'll feel forced, really. Have you ever done more than make out in a bathroom? haha.yeah. Do you tell your mom everything? yeah, i tend to. Are you enemies with a former friend? no. just not friends anymore. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? yeahhh. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? yes. Have you ever had the cops called on you? yeahh. When was your last shower? today. Where did you last go? room-computer room. maybe to the bathroom soon. i feel like i'm going to hurl. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? no, because things wouldn't be the same now. Would you ever kiss anyone over 16? that would be my preference, so yeah. Do you still talk to the person you were dating 8 months ago? a little, yeah. Regrets? none. zero. it seemed perfect at the time. and i can't go back and change it. so i just need to accept it. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? yeah. Has anyone ever crawled through your window? yeah. What is something you're currently frustrated about? i'm sick. and i'm pissed off about it. how did that happen? How many wives/husbands do you want? i don't want a husband. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? noo. How did you and your number 1 become friends? tech ed in seventh grade. we made an awesome song on the keyboard. Where is your ex? eh, i don't care. Who was the last person you yelled at? mom. Are you a tease? i can be. Describe your life: i make it confusing, fun, and complicated. Who was the last person you cried in front of? myself. Have you told anybody you loved them today? yes. Have you ever taken a shower with a member of the opposite sex? yeahh. Did you speak to your mother today? yes. Are you best friends with any of ur ex's? no. Are you slowly drifting away from someone close? yeah. it happens. What did you do today? got up. realized i was sick. everything hurts. fuck. Do you have plans for tomorrow? i suppose. Does the last person you held hands with, mean something to you? it should. Do you regret dating anyone you dated? no. Are you close with your mom? very. Who was the last person in your bedroom? boyfriend, i think. Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone? renee. Were you happy when you woke up today? NO. Are you missing someone? kinda, yeah. Where was your default picture taken and who took it? breakwall. and me. What color shirt are you wearing? blue. What color shorts? black. When was the last time you talked to your number 1? today. Do you need to say anything to anyone? i say what i need to. Do you delete people off of Myspace? i have. Are you typically a jealous person? no. Do you know anyone that smokes pot? yes. If I looked under your bed, what would I find? not a thing. Sleep on your back or stomach? stomach. i sleep mostly on my side though. Are you a cuddler? duh. Was your last kiss a mistake? nooo. and i hope it never is. i want him to be my last. everything. What time did you go to sleep last night? eleven. Ever talked to someone that was drunk? obviously. Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning? my bed. Have you ever cried while in the shower? yes. Do you trust people easily? no. i hardly trust. Do you wet the toothbrush before the toothpaste? yes. Are you wearing socks? it's summer. why wear socks? no. Do any of your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? i did. How many pillows on your bed? three/four. Do you like anyone? yessss.

How old is the first person on your top? seventeen. How old is the last person you kissed? twenty. Who woke you up this morning? cat. What is your current mood? i'm so sick. miserable. What color shirt are you wearing? blue. Are you crazy? i suppose so. What are you listening to? brooklyn-tbs. How long is your hair? shoulderlength about. Are you wearing make-up? nooo. What were you doing at 11:00 last night? i was getting ready to sleep. yesterday was also a miserable day. What are you doing tonight? camping. What have you done today? i have showered. bathed. and i have almost puked. Have you smiled recently? no. i have no reason to smile. my neck feels so stiff. Last thing you bought? probably food. Have you ever shared a drink with anyone? yeah. Do you have a reason to smile right now? nooo, i do not. Are you afraid of shots? nooope. How long does it take you to take a shower? aboutttt ten minutes. maybe five. Do you care what others think about you? i could care less anymore. whatever. i get judged either way. Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? nope. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? yes. Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl? yessss. i did. Who was the last person you called? mom. Anything you're giving up on? caring. i'm so tired of trying. Are you open about your feelings or closed off? i am closed off. with good reason. Who would you say you're best friends with right now? renee.lindsay.boyfriend. Ever cried because of happiness? yeahhh. What's some things people hate about you? um. i'm gabby? apparently. and yes, i will take that to heart.

What is your salad dressing of choice? thousand island, even though it's the most unhealthy choice, haha. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? i love applebees. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? um pizza probably. What are your pizza toppings of choice? cheese and pepperoni. What do you like to put on your toast? butter, peanut butter. *TECHNOLOGY* What is your wallpaper on your computer? mom and grandpa. How many televisions are in your house? three. What color cell phone do you have? no cell. *BIOLOGY* Are you right-handed or left-handed? right. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? yupp. What is the last heavy item you lifted? garbage. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? no. *BULLCRAPOLOGY* If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? nooo. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? something shorter, like amy. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? i don't think i'd be physically able to. *DUMBOLOGY* How many pairs of flip flops do you own? too many. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? may. What do you want to be when you grow up? rn. Last person you talked to? mom. Last person you hugged? mom. *FAVORITOLOGY* Season? spring/fall. Holiday? christmas. Day of the week? thursday. Month? july. *CURRENTOLOGY* Missing someone? kinda. Mood? SICK, fucking. Listening to? stupid girl. Watching? this screen. Worrying about? me being sick, fuck. *RANDOMOLOGY* First place you went this morning? bathroom. What can you not wait to do? CAMP. even though i'm sick. What's the last movie you saw? dark knight. Do you smile often? no.

What are you listening to? alexz johnson. How often do you go on myspace? eh, every couple days. i just use it to get these surveys. to hopefully clear my mind. What is your favorite movie? i love, love, love pride and prejudice. i could watch that movie three million times straight and never get tired of hearing mr. darcy say 'i love you' so fast, it's hard to catch. Last book you read for pleasure? me and mr. darcy. How often do you watch tv? eh, not much. i usually just watch lost. or repeats of sictoms like that 70's show and such. What is your favorite season? spring/fall. Are you athletic? hahaha. no. Last item of clothing/accessory bought? probably a tank top. i don't buy that many clothes for myself. When is your birthday? september fifth. Have you ever been out of the country? no. What vacation destination would you like to visit? i would love to be near the ocean, as of right now. Do you know someone named Stephanie? that's me! Do you have any secrets? yeah. Do you have a big family? nope. pretty small. Is there someone you want, but can't have? no. Do you have any weird talents? i believe not. i wouldn't consider them weird. In one word, how would you define yourself? emotional. Whats your fav. song at the moment? i love any alexz johnson song. Tell me about the last dream you had: well, the one i really remember is that people were banana's on the inside and everytime someone got stepped on, they just got smushed, just like that. and a huge mob of people got stomped on by a giant. What is you favorite kind of ice cream? mackinac island fudge. What do you like to do in your free time? read. sleep. Do you get along with your parents? yeah. What have you done today? slept forever. Why did you last get all dressed up? mm. graduation. What was the last thing you said out loud? 'i don't know if you think you're sneaky, but i could hear you stomping all the way from back there.' Last time you saw your cousin? eh, couple weeks ago, maybe longer. i don't care. Would you keep the baby if you were pregnant now? probably not, no. Got a friend you can tell anything to that won't judge you? i have my mother. and that's it. everyone else, does judge me. What phone do you have? a black one. Something you really need? more ponytails. Are you anything like you were at this point last year? thankfully, no. but in some aspects, yeah. What's the 8th text in your inbox say? i don't text. What are you wearing right now? black sweats and shirt. What are you most looking forward to tomorrow? i want to lay around, again. maybe bike ride. that would be lovely. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours? yeah. ridiculous. and a waste of quality sleep time. Do you like your first name? sometimes, i think it's too long though. Do you regret doing something today? ughh, i push everyone away from me. Last time you got a ticket or traffic violation? may. When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head? well, it must've rained. Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't? eh, i don't really care. there must've been a reason why i lost contact with them. and if i really cared, i would try to get in contact with them. simple as that. Do you think you're old? nooo. Are you afraid of the dark? nope. Have you got a tan? kinda, yeah. What are you looking forward to in the next month? moving. i need out of here. everything here is getting too intense, and i don't like it. When is the last time you talked to number 1 on your top friends? yesterday, online. Are you happy with your marital status? sure. Have you told anyone you love them today? no. Do you have a SocialSplash account? hm. no. never heard of it.

so why do i feel the need to make myself feel miserable? what am i really punishing myself for? why do i think i deserve to be alone? because that is what i wanted. i want to be alone. there are no guarantees in life. especially basing life on another person, or other people. you have to base life of of yourself, as selfish as it seems. that's all we have, really. anyone can pick up and leave. but no one is leaving me. no one is running away. i am. where am i running to? why am i running? why do i seem to push everyone away? everyone who loves me, i just push in the wrong direction, away from me. everytime i say go, i really mean stay. everytime i say, i don't want you around, means i need you here with me. just for a little bit longer. when i say i'm planning MY future, i really mean ours. i want you to automatically include yourself in my future. but i will never tell you that. is it because i don't believe in us? because i don't think we're strong enough? no, i do. i'm just not strong enough. i'm weak. i feel like i'm being pushed around. and the more things i do for people, they are taking advantage of it. i'm tired of hearing, i'm sorry. but i'm sorry that i push you away. i want you to know that you're my favorite mistake. i know i'm going to hurt you. i know i'm going to let you down. i'm not what you think i am. i'm selfish. i'm loud. i'm unfaithful. i'm everything that you don't need. please don't tell me you think i'm perfect and beautiful, when i know i'm the complete opposite. i want you to be okay. but, i want to be okay. and i don't think or believe that we can do that together. i need to figure out what i need to because i'm hurting you already. i know that you would do anything for me. i hope you would do anything for me. but the truth is, i wouldn't do anything for you. because if i really did love you, like i told you, i would stay here with you. if i really believed that we should be together, i would be here. i wouldn't be able to survive without you. but knowing that i could move away and be fine, makes me wonder. i do love you. i just make it harder than it should be. i think more than what needs to be thought. i make mistakes. i push you away. i pull myself away. everything that goes wrong, i blame on me. i'm the fault. i'm wrong. but, i always put myself first. no matter what. i cannot make you my number one. i could tell you a million lies. and i would be okay. as long as you believed my lies, i'd be okay. 'nothing's going to change my world'- across the universe.

1)Do you smoke weed regularly? no. 2) Have you kissed somebody in the last 48 hours? maybe, i don't think so though. 3) Who was the last person's house you went to besides your own? um. britt's grandmas. 4) Miss someone? yeaaahh. 5) Third text in your inbox? i don't text. 6) Is there something you could've done to make your last relationship work? not me. him. and i don't care. 7) Do you like someone right now? obviously. 8) Listen to music often? of course. 9) What are you doing tomorrow? well, it's tuesday, so absolutely nothing. i think i might wake up early and take a bike ride though. i'm so tired of myself. i'm going to exercise a little. 10) What is your favorite flavor ice cream? i love, love, love mackinac island fudge. 11) Anything annoying you right now? ugh. everything. 13) What are you doing tonight? i wanna watch gone baby gone. i hope i don't fall asleep. haha. 14) Who did you ride in a car with last besides your family? boyfriend, i believe. 16) What is the color of your shirt you are wearing? yellowish. 17) What did you do Sunday? i was hungover. so i slept all day with a major headache. 18) Do you have any bruises, from what? well, a dog stepped on me while i was swimming. the rest of my million bruises, who knows. 19) What were you doing yesterday? i had stephanie time. 20) How long does it take you to get ready to go out? like ten minutes. 21) The last text you received on your cell was from? i don't text. 23) Last movie you watched? ummm. i don't know. dark knight! 25) Who do you miss? daddy, even though he's severely annoying. he's my dad, and i love him. 25) Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? nope. 26) Last person you hugged? um. boyfriend. well, he tried. i pulled away. i pull away a lot. 27) The last place you went to: britt's grandmas. 28) Who/What made you upset today, why? i made myself upset. britt made me upset. everything made me upset. complicated. or i'm just premenstral, in that case, i suck even more. 29) Do you sing in the shower? yeaah. 30) Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally? no. 32) Do you want to tell your ex anything? well, i already told him everything i need to. he has a lot of potential, i just want to see him reach it and be happy. 33) If you could fix things with anyone who would it be and why? i wouldn't fix things. 34) Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you? yeah. 35) What should you be doing right now? nothing. 36) Do you get along with your parents? yeah. 37) Ever wanted to be a teacher? noooo. 38) Ever been stuck in an elevator? no. 39) What do your cousins call you? steph? stephanie. i don't talk to my cousins a lot. 40) First thing you notice in the opposite sex? height. 42) Has anyone ever told you they like you more than a friend? duh. 43) What are you looking forward to? MOVING, honestly as of right now. 44) Have any tattoos? no. 45) Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? ugh, no. ew. 46) Any good concerts coming up? of course not.