weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gosh im sure sunburnt. My eyes are screwed up.. I went to the eye doctor and she told me I still have 20/20 vision but a migrain aura. Meaning I dont get the headache, but my eyes go blurry. She gave me eyedrops but they didnt help. Now I cant see color properly out of my left eye. Everything looks grey tinted when i close my right eye. This is starting to worry me. Jane Fonda is so catchy, but such a horrible song. "Girlfriend" by Avril whats her face is the number one song in the world?! what does that say about our world... vomit.

Today is my first track meet. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Lately, I've been making better life choices. Sad though because I still do so many things that I know I shouldn't, but I've been stepping it up a few notches. Yesterday I skipped school, but still went to track. On the weekend I drank and drove, but I didnt drink much, and went to sleep early. I stood up for my friend, but it was only for my own satisfaction. I comforted a guy because he broke up with his girlfriend, but only because I want to know if he still cares about me. Really I'm not such a good person.

For some reason im having some difficulty locating some cds.. I really like the music, but no store carry them. The Mosquitos and Architecture In Helsinki... gees.. maybe if I lived in some other country they would have them. Plus I dont download music.. oh well.. someday.. So I sound so steriotypic.. but I bought my grad shoes today.. along with some jewelry and it got me feeling a little bit excited! I sure dont want one of those little flower doohas that girls always seem to have an their wrists or dresses.. people think i need to get one. no!

I'm sad

I bought my first car today! they were asking 15000 and I'm paying 13700 and getting a new paint job included. niice! I'm so stoked and I'm paying for it myself. Things with guys and friends are so messed up!

I wonder if he knows how much he controls me. Really it sucks. Its like a rollercoaster that I know I should just get off..I'm too short to ride and shouldnt be here. I don't know. I hate my friends. They are just so full of themselves sometimes, they think they are better than everyone around them. Sometimes it just makes me sick. I usually dont go along with alot of what they say, but im sure im just as bad in different ways. If I wasnt so afraid of being alone, I would never speak to them again. Really they are unbelievable.

Tonight should be interesting.. I'm hanging out with one of my ex best friends. We havnt spoken in over a year, and havnt hung out in about two.. so it should be weird. We didnt stop talking because we were in a fight, our lives just went in different directions.. hers more towards drugs .. mine more towards alcohol.. haha just kidding! well not really.

Taking the bus sucks. It really does. Withing the month I should own my own car though. Hopefully. My eyes are going to blurry, its really starting to scare me. I dont want to depend on glasses or contacts. I just want good vision. They are only blurry sometimes though, which is strange..

I just want to find a guy that i really like a guy that isnt a jerk, or with some agenda.. no manipulation. just a relationship

Come online, come online, come online, come online, come online. I'm so pathetic.