I feel so upset. I don't know why though, and I think I'm whining a lot on this blogthingy. But well, that's better than whining in real life, right? I mean, if this is annoying, stop reading, but when I talk to my friends about this, they can't stop listening, that would be kind of rude and stuff. So this is better. This dude hugged me today, he's weird. He kind of scared me :p. I don't really like hugging, or you know, when you meet people you vaguely know, you have to give them three kisses on the cheeks. (In Holland, I mean) I hate that, I don't like touching people I barely know. I wave, that's my thing, my item, my trait. I wave, when I come to school and see my friends, I wave to them and say hi. I don't hugg them, or kiss them on the cheeks or whatever. I wave. Well, that dude, he's like co-director of the schoolplay, and he babbled on about grouphugs and how they are good for the work climate or something (that sentence didn't came out right, sorry). But that's not why I feel upset though. Probably it's just the schoolexams. (that's the word, that's how we call them in English) But well, it's late, I'm going to shower and go to bed. Goodnight. XxX winterwoods

Well, I looked the word up, but I don't know if it's the correct word. But I think this is what I'm having today and tomorrow, and the 2 days after that. Preliminary Examinations. I never heard of that word before actually. In Dutch we call it 'tentamens' or 'schoolexamen' and in German its 'Schulprüfung'. Or something like that. Ehm, wel, I'm kind of nervous, you have to sit in this enormous room with hundreds of tables and chairs. And you have to be dead quiet for 75 minutes. My first 'preliminary examination' is English. I have to write a text. I'm really nervous. I do know my English is good enough, but 75 minutes are just too little to write a good text. God, I feel stupid for being so nervous. Why am I always nervous? My mother told me about the time she lived in America. She lived there for a year as an exchange student. She had a really cool time, and a yearbook and everyone had written in it, about how cool they thought my mother was. That was so cool, I hope I'm going to have that a great time in Dublin as well. But for now I have to go to school, write that stupid text. Yay. XxX winterwoods

je veux improver mon francais, mais je ne sais pas quelle facon est le meilleur! Je ne parle francais bien, mais j'adore la langue francaise, parce que c'est une très belle langue. Ehm, that's it. My french is really awfull ^_^. nun, lassen wir Deutsch sprechen, ich finde Deutsch nicht wirklich eine schöne Sprache, aber es ist doch toll. Ich finde Rammstein wirklich sehr gut, und dadurch lerne ich auch ein bisschen Deutsch, also das ist sehr nützlich! Nouja, dit is nog altijd het makkelijkst. Lekker simpel Nederlands. Daar hoeven ook geen spelfouten in te zitten, tenminste, niet als ik goed oplet. Maargoed, Nederlands op school is wel erg moeilijk. Aart van der Schendel, geen aardige gast om zulke moeilijke boeken te schrijven! Maar Louis Couperus aan de andere kant schrijft erg mooi. But my alltime favorite will always be Jane Eyre from Charlotte Brontë :). XxX winterwoods

I’m ready to write a longer blog right now. I don’t think I have a lot of homework for tomorrow, so yay ^_^. Let’s see, I’ve got French, which isn’t hard, then English, which is like the easiest subject for me. Er, then ehm, Latin, which is kind of hard, so… yeah that’s it. Just French and Latin. I’ve only got languages tomorrow! How cool! But, erm well…this week was busy, I was busy. I’m promoted, so now I’m head director of the play. And I’ve already got a lot of bad criticism about the script. But nothing I can’t handle. They only shout things like ‘It’s stupid, I don’t like it!’ But they don’t tell me how to fix it, so yeah, I can’t help it then. I’ve been feeling OK lately, actually. Not really self pitying or anything, just a bit, at night, in bed, a bit… sad. But that’s normal, I guess. I dreamt that my computer crashed and everything I ever wrote was gone, every picture I ever took was gone, even my homework was gone. Then I woke up half crying :p. It was kind of embarrassing, crying because of a crashed computer. But well, I do have a lot of valuable stuff on the computer so it would be a pity if it all were lost. Er, I get the feeling my English is very bad today, so I’m going to stop writing now, until my English has improved ;). XxX winterwoods

God, I can be so annoying, really. Sometimes I hate myself, just wish I would shut up some time. I'm going to listen to Maria Mena and Elemeno P again, they're (unlike me) not at all annoying :) XxX winterwoods

I'm pissed. I'm taking this way to personally and I don't care if they were meant personally or not, I just do. And I feel offended, and maybe I'm being oversensitive and overemotional. I simply don't care. I feel like crying actually. But I won't because I have stuff to do. I really do. But well... I don't feel like it. (That sounds scarily familiar doesn't it?) XxX winterwoods

You know we have this school play, right? and you know I was the head of the writing group, right? It's finished! We mailed it to the supervisors and directors today, and it's finished! I'm happy :D. About that, I mean. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a happy person in general. But God, I think the people who read this already got that ;). XxX winterwoods

Yeah, Holidays are almost over. I think they call it fall break in America? I don't know, anyway they're almost over... :( Today and tomorrow going to a cabin in a little village with a few friends, because one of them turned 18 this week. I'm really glad for her, she has a great life, but she's too nice to get jealous actually. I'm just happy for her :). My life still isn't really what I hoped it to be, but well, I'll just keep trying, I don't know what else to do... I didn't learn my schoolexams this week, I'm going to go through hell next weak because of that. But I'll make it, I just know. *knock on wood* Well, they're picking me up in a few minutes, so bye! XxX winterwoods

I'm not going to tutor latin. I'm not going to exercise, or get a membership at the gym. I'm not going to get a job. I'm not going to do my homework. and I'll probably not go to Ireland either, or to Russia, or study psychology in Nijmegen. I will waste my life here in the middle of nowhere. XxX winterwoods

We're throwing this dude out of the writing group because he didn't do anything. It took us long enough. But well, I guess the 'I'm bugged by people' already covered that aspect of the story. I'm going to bodyjam tonight! Twice today actually, first during PE for like 30 minutes and later tonight again for an hour, with my sister. It's going to be fun! Er, I hope. I'm not very optimistic and enthusiastic by nature, more like pessimistic and … cold. But that doesn’t matter, I’m trying to change, so I should forget how I’m really like and pretend I’m perfect, just like everybody else’s doing! Hurray. Next week fall break ^_^. A friend of mine is going to celebrate her birthday than, and we’re going away for a short weekend then. That’ll probably be nice. I’m also going to Amsterdam (noooo! The horror!) for a conversation about me maybe going to Dublin next year.. So that’s nice too.. Why do they have to have an office in Amsterdam? I mean, God, I hate that city, with their stupid football club, Rotterdam is way cooler and better and our football team is going to rule the world one day! I mean it! End of Amsterdam rant. And I'm meeting up with a few friends I haven’t seen in a really long time, so that’s going to be superduper :). Just hoping that everything will go as planned this holiday… Probably not. XxX pessimistic me.