"Yeah, wanna go get some dinner? Or are you going to tear my head off and choke me with your ovaries?" - Lady_Mercy That's the funniest thing I've ever read on this site. I'm probably similar to the people you make fun of, but I like to think I'm not too bad. ... Yeah, I don't think I'll go back and read some of my previous entries now. Half of them are probably about Pokemon and video games anyway. Oh! I'm going to start EV training my Pokemon team I've decided. I'm all prepared for it, I've written out notes and such to take in the car ride tomorrow, and to generally keep with my DS. It'll help keep my mind off things. Still hasn't sunk in.

Obviously, I was a little speechless in my last entry. I still am. It hasn't sunk in, and I don't think it will until the funeral. I've never been to a funeral (or a wedding for that matter), and I certainly didn't think my first would be his. He was the youngest adult of my family; active, fit, and always so alive. I don't want to drone on in here, but this is by far the worst school holidays I'll ever go through. It's a shame that they're my last. I'm lucky that I have friends that are extremely supportive of me. I'll be okay.

I just found out that my uncle died yesterday. Holy shit.

Work toniiiight. Money, yay! I've got this new manager, he's an absolute legend. Last few days have been fairly draining. I'm tired anyway. I did a bunch of filming for my friend's video. We also played loads of Guitar Hero for the Wii (which I bought the other day!) - this is how I'll spend my school holidays.

Work's good. School's good. Friend's good. Life's good. And as pathetic as it sounds, I still feel like something is missing - I still feel like I want to come on here and complain. Maybe, deep down, underneath the hard exterior, there's a soft girl who wants to be loved? Is it possible that I'm not as independent as I seem to think I am? I mean, that's the only thing I don't have right now; I don't have a "lover", people don't normally tell me that they love me. It's beginning to hit me that I've brought this on myself. I tease people to show them that I care. Like I believe I've previously said, and if I haven't then here you go, but I'm the "push you in the playground" type. I don't tell people that I love them. I find it really hard to open up to people, and I can honestly say that nobody knows anything about my emotions at this time. Nobody knows, and it's like nobody needs to know. That's the tough part though: there's two people I could open up to right now, but even then I don't spill anywhere near as much as I could. I'm a really good listener, and that's what I enjoy serving as. Yet I still feel compelled to anonymously type up my life in an online journal for millions around the interweb to read. One would think that it could be a trust issue. I'm not so sure though. There's just something there that's constantly stopping me from, for lack of better term, "bearing my soul" to others. Maybe I'm scared that if I'm too honest with people, it'll make them change their perceptions of me. And it would. I'm turning into one of those kids I hate. I'm truly grateful for my life, so please don't get me wrong, but I feel the need to vent and release... what, you think I'd actually tell this to someone I know?

I've got Guitar Hero: On Tour and might I just say that it fucking rocks? Damn straight it does. I had more to say before I started typing. Oh well.

What an awesome day so far. I did list off everything but I decided to delete it. Sounded too much like a shopping list. Let's just say that I spent pretty much all my school day with SL, we walked home together too. I just sent her a message too, knowing she's in class though so I'll have to wait awhile for a response (or until her break or something). I've got a crudload of work to do tonight but you know, I'm honestly not bothered by it. I'm having a really nice day. I'm going to go get fat now because since I got home at like 12 (it's now 3) I've only had a few crackers... which, by my standard isn't much. It's winter, okay?! I binge! Oh, ALSO! Guitar Hero DS comes out in Australia tomorrow!!! (I think!) I'm so excited, I think I'll get it tomorrow if I can. Thursday night shopping... awesome.

I had an English in class essay today. Easy, easy, easy. They showed us two scenes from a movie we're studying, then got us to write about them in forty minutes. No problems at all. I went 3 pages. Well, 2+ pages really. Uhm, yeah. I did have more that I wanted to write about but I've completely lost it. Maybe I'll make another entry after work.

Ah man, this song still gets me. xD I can't be the only person who finds it to be ultra sexy, right? ... Fiiine. I'm still Pokemoning it up, loads of fun. I got a crudload of Feebas now. I've got 15 - two of them are in eggs though and I can't be fucked hatching them now, lol. I tried evolving one into a Milotic, but fucked it up apparently because it refused to eat any more Poffins. Now I'm being all concious of it and such, making sure I get the right sort of berries and that my Poffins are as top notch as I can make them. I think I'm also going to get into EV training, with natures and such too. I've done some reading on it and how it works, it largely increases the strategy in the game, so I might go for it. May as well; it'll help me in the Battle Tower. SL situation - haven't mentioned her for awhile, haha - is really good. I've been with her a few lunch times recently too in our Senior Room, which is awesome. Went to her house on the weekend, and I think I made a pretty good impression on her parents and sister. Apparently she's told them about me; they mentioned things to do with me, like they know where I work, they know what I like, stuff like that, which made me feel good. It makes me feel like I'm a bit important to her now since she's bringing me up when I'm not around. She's also told her sister a lot about our conversations, and our "inside joke" type things - she (her sister) even knows what my display picture on MSN looks like! Well, she's witnessed it on multiple occasions apparently. Seeing her tomorrow morning, weee!

My feet are cold.