HOLY SHIT! I FOUND MY SONG! "I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it.." Ohhh, I love it. I want SL. In the pants. Right now. xD

Friday was cancelled. Laaame. There was good reason to do so though, so it's okay, but still, I can't help but be disappointed. Work last night was hella fun. I also got the night off for the AWS show (2 weeks!) but I knew they'd give that to me anyway, haha. I might be doing another course soon for acting, costs quite a bit of the moolah but hey it'll probably be worth it. Music-wise, I've been really getting into deathcore lately. I'd heard some but it never grabbed me as much as it is right now. Deathcore bands I like aaare: Born Of Osiris Bring Me The Horizon (yeah, that's right, shoot me!) From A Second Story Window The Red Chord Veil Of Maya Whitechapel Winds Of Plague (FAVOURITE!) With Dead Hands Rising Just about to check out some Animosity too, from what I've heard they're fucking sweet. There's a hell load of other bands I've gotta give a shot. One day. xD Off to showaaah now.

ENTRY NUMBAH FIDDY YO! And how much of it has actually been valid? How much of it is important? Then again... do I really care? No! My journal, my words, my life, your face. Definitely going to do my best to do this whole acting thing. DEFINITELY. I spoke to my drama teacher today knowing she'd be completely honest with me, and she told me that I could do it because I'm a very strong performer; but I'll need a lot more experience than I have. I have only done one out of school course as far as acting goes, my class has been involved in quite a few things though. Everything has been falling into place over the past couple of weeks. Not even that long, last week maybe. It's insane, but it's my passion. Remember this face that you can't see! :P In the meantime, I get to go serve people their food! Yay! Got a shift tonight which is great, I want money. I enjoy work. But I have no idea who'll be there, if it'll be people I know or complete randoms, and that makes me slightly nervous but I know I'm not a bad worker so yeah. My A Wilhelm Scream ticket arrived in the mail today too. Scooore! Erm, what else? Getting the day off school tomorrow due to a teacher's strike, which is awesome. It gives me time to try and work on a lot of work I've got for school. Need to make a draft or two of a monologue. Write more chapters for my major works in SC. Play some TWEWY or MKW. Y'know, the important things. Theeeen, on Friday - I'll probably make another entry beforehand but I'm excited - I'm going to SL's house, weeee! We'll be chilling on the Friday night, then working all through Saturday until I have to go to, uhm, work. So much work, but to me it's all play. I haven't read over this entry so I don't know if it makes sense but to be honest I don't care. I know what I'm talking about damnit! Isn't that what matters most? Btw; Lexie Obscura. Check her journal out, even though she's only got a few entries in there right now. She seems smart. Not a generic teenager... assuming she is a teenager of course.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I'm procrastinating a bunch of homework I've gotta do. I'll get to it in a minute. (I said that half an hour ago, and look at me now.) Was going to ramble about SL but I won't because I don't want this to turn into one of "those" journals. I've had a great day though, hung out with her quite a lot. Going to hers on Friday night too, schweet.

"This clock never seemed so alive..." That could make for an awkward typo, hah. Work was good, I've got an extra shift so yay me! They obviously like me there so I'm happy. I like to think I'm a decent/good worker. Btw; I'm a girl. She's a girl - a straight girl (to my knowledge) might I add. So there you go. Why wouldn't I be nervous in that circumstance? She's got no idea of my orientation or anything, and quite frankly neither do I, so that makes for what could potentially be a disasterous situation. I really do want to say something though. She's the closest to perfect you can possibly get and if there was any chance that I could make this happen, I want to take it. I'm taking no responsibility for all I've said in my currently sappy mood.

I've decided that I'm going to do it. Acting - I'm going to do it. I'm going to do all I can to make it happen. When I go to school on Monday I'm going to ask questions about how I can get a start on this as a career. As a hobby, it's amazing, but if I did it as a way of living, it'd be a dream come true. Theater, film, whatever, I'm up for it. I just want to act and perform. I'll persue something like this... yet I won't tell someone that I like them. I'm such a wanker! Eh, maybe I'll explain why I refuse to say anything soon in here. I don't want this journal to become all about SL but to be honest, SL's one of the only things I can think about. Ew, you stalker.

I didn't go to school today because I spun out this morning. Gah, I hate that.

WARNING: STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGER STORY AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. -- 44 was like The Sims. This is one of the expansion packs you can by. Sims: House Party. Whooo! Today was really nice. Boring at some moments, but generally it was good. A very relaxed day. Had an excursion for English; went to go see a play. The play was actually pretty good, it was well done. There was this alternate ending they did. Pretty damn cool. Bus ride out there was mildly entertaining, I was with two of my friends all crammed onto one seat. I was sitting at the window, I had someone next to me and the third person was sitting on my lap with her legs over the other person. A little uncomfortable but hey, we had to. We were one of two seats that had to, uh, "triple up". Of course, like I said I'd do, I kind of tried to avoid the person I annoyed. I wasn't doing it overly conciously, I just kind of made it my business to be in other conversations when they were nearby. There was one occasion I nearly slipped up and I know they were ringing in on the conversation I was having but they didn't actually say anything. The same thing happened a second time actually - and when it did, I had a packet of chips in my hand, and I offered them to the person I was talking to. The annoyed person made their presence (silent presence mind you) felt in the conversation so when I was offering chips I had to do so to them too. It was a quick thing, not really looking at them, just like "Want one?" Um, btw - the person I'm obsessed with, the "obsessee" = the annoyed person. Thought I'd clarify that for anybody who actually cares on here, hah. So anyway, I was on the bus early with my two homies. (I have more than two friends of course, these were just the people I hung out with the whole day.) Let's call them Friend A and Friend B - FA, FB. FA was the person slung across me on the ride there, I was sitting next to them. FB was behind us on a seat, alone. They were concerned about who was going to sit with them. Then I heard "Oh hey [FB], I'm gonna sit with you!" and I knew who it was. Silly annoyed obsessee person whom I really need a new nickname for. Let's go wiiiith... SL, because those letters are completely irrelevent. So yeah, I pretty much got to spend the bus ride home with good ole SL. We wound up listening to my iPod the whole way home (awkwardly yes considering SL was sitting BEHIND me...) and now I've burnt a CD for them. Aw, aren't I sweet? No. This story was lame as, and most of it was conjured up by paranoia. Read 43 if you're lost. I'm a fucking rambler! And I even rambled slightly about SL to my best friend tonight but it's hard to do that because we always wind up talking about other things. Best friend wants to know more about SL but I can't when we talk like that! Oh well.

You go from trying to be slightly distant from someone, To offering them a chip out of kindness (we were both just standing there and it was the right thing to do!), To them sitting directly behind you on the bus, To burning a CD for them. Clearly, they're not annoyed at me.

Can't sleep. Too much going on in my mind. Don't normally put shit like this in here but I'm not telling anyone else about it to save the whole comforting "there's no problem" "you're overreacting" speel. I really annoyed someone tonight. Someone who I care about - one of the most genuine people I've ever met. Lately we've been talking a lot, and tonight I just... pushed them over the line? I'm not sure. If I think a person is a nice person, I don't say "You're a nice person, I like you." There's no way I give them a positive notion. I'm one of those "push you down in the playground because I like you" types; if I care about someone, I normally insult them, because I feel comfortable enough around them to do that. It's a compliment disguised as an insult. And trust me, I do it a loooot, to the point where I would be seen as irritating. It wasn't even anything big. They were frustrated about something else, and just snapped at me. We apologised to one another, all good yeah? No, that's not how I work. I get concious of things like that; if someone snaps at me, even if it has nothing to do with me, I always think that I'm an easy target because I get so annoying. I know that I'm an annoying person. But it's just who I am. People generally accept that. There's just that odd occasion where I question how I'm acting around someone. This is one of them. Now I'm not going to be acting normally. I'll be watching every word I say, making sure I don't say anything out of line - or anything at all. I think I'll go for the subtle avoiding route this time, even though I really don't want to have to do that. Wish me luck for tomorrow though, I might have to see them again. :\ Awkward.