2 things about the beginning. 1:meeting the "real" me is because the voices you hear with schizophrenia sound very very real and difficult to distinguish from having someone talking to you. This is of course out of sight, or a step or 2 out of kicking distance as mentioned later in the song because if Dave or I saw someone saying any of the horribly mean (In my experience, meant to break you and at 1 time a suicide attempt, which isn't me.) things, then we wouldn't be schitsophrenic(I still have not been diagnosed after about 5 years because it is real for me). 2: dark black past is the voices leverage used to cause so much inner turmoil that opens a way for them to negatively criticize other things about you and between that dark black secret(s) guilt and the degrading comments from my "misfits" (notice rather than misfit, Dave says misfits. I hear multiple people, some I know and some I don't) in my head, I would walk around in a frenzy arguing with all the awful things that weren't true and clarifying the dark black secrets to defend myself from the accusations. All the stabbing at my character left me nervous, sweaty and angry to argue back. Sweating-from the fear and nervous tension, bullets-think of when you and your best friend fight and the things that can be said out of anger can be like bullets.
Enemy or false friend I can very much relate to as of recently especially. When you hear somebody say $hit about you in the next room but deny it when confronted you can get highly unsure. Think about that scenario though. It is very difficult to prove that situation without having cameras set up everywhere
The end of the song brings up some feelings for sure because my 'voices' would sadistically toy with me. They said one day within the first year or so that they started, that they were going to leave me alone and that it was all over! I was ecstatic! About a week past before "surprise! Got ya!" they were back. It was always due to something I did of coarse that they had to come back. I have also been tricked by their acknowledgment of the truth bullets I was saying and become apologetic for their mistake, but as always, their icy fingers claw my back and .....
2 things about the beginning. 1:meeting the "real" me is because the voices you hear with schizophrenia sound very very real and difficult to distinguish from having someone talking to you. This is of course out of sight, or a step or 2 out of kicking distance as mentioned later in the song because if Dave or I saw someone saying any of the horribly mean (In my experience, meant to break you and at 1 time a suicide attempt, which isn't me.) things, then we wouldn't be schitsophrenic(I still have not been diagnosed after about 5 years because it is real for me). 2: dark black past is the voices leverage used to cause so much inner turmoil that opens a way for them to negatively criticize other things about you and between that dark black secret(s) guilt and the degrading comments from my "misfits" (notice rather than misfit, Dave says misfits. I hear multiple people, some I know and some I don't) in my head, I would walk around in a frenzy arguing with all the awful things that weren't true and clarifying the dark black secrets to defend myself from the accusations. All the stabbing at my character left me nervous, sweaty and angry to argue back. Sweating-from the fear and nervous tension, bullets-think of when you and your best friend fight and the things that can be said out of anger can be like bullets. Enemy or false friend I can very much relate to as of recently especially. When you hear somebody say $hit about you in the next room but deny it when confronted you can get highly unsure. Think about that scenario though. It is very difficult to prove that situation without having cameras set up everywhere The end of the song brings up some feelings for sure because my 'voices' would sadistically toy with me. They said one day within the first year or so that they started, that they were going to leave me alone and that it was all over! I was ecstatic! About a week past before "surprise! Got ya!" they were back. It was always due to something I did of coarse that they had to come back. I have also been tricked by their acknowledgment of the truth bullets I was saying and become apologetic for their mistake, but as always, their icy fingers claw my back and .....