I think this song is about an eating disorder.
The first verse is describing how someone gets hooked with an ED. “They send me away to find them a fortune” reminds me of the promise from Ana (in my case) that I’ll be happy once I’m thin, all my problems will disappear. “The house was awake, the shadows and monsters, the hallways, they echoed and groaned” makes me think of the various triggers around my house that remind me of how “imperfect” I am.
“I sat alone, in bed till the morning. I’m crying, “they’re coming for me”” for me sleeping is an escape from the constant obsessive thoughts but then when I wake up in the morning they are right there again (they’re coming for me).
“I tried to hold these secrets inside me” is about the struggle to hide the disorder.
“My minds like a deadly disease” anorexia can be a deadly disease so I think this is pretty on point.
“I’m bigger than my body/ I’m bigger than these bones” is all about body image and how it doesn’t matter how small I get I’ll feel and believe I look bigger than I actually am.
“I’m colder than this home/ I’m meaner than my demons” is referring to how my self talk is sometimes worse than what Ana tells me.
“All the kids cried out. “Please stop, you’re scaring me”” makes me think of how children sometimes stare at people who are extremely thin and sometimes they looked shocked or scared.
“I can’t help this awful energy” expresses how powerless I feel to this disorder. “God damn right, you should be scared of me” I always think people should be afraid of my mind because of how toxic and cruel it is.
“Who is in control?” For me my eating disorder is about control and starving makes me feel in control but since I feel often that I can’t actually make the decision to eat without feeling awful about it it makes me question who is really in control?
“I paced around for hours on empty” is taking about the over exercising aspect.
“I jumped at the slightest of sounds” this might be a bit of a stretch but I think of the word “sounds” as gaining weight. And how scary of an idea it is to gain weight.
“I couldnt stand the person inside me. I turned all the mirrors around” both of these lyrics are very literal.
“I’m well acquainted with the villains that live in my head” being with the villain of Ana is typically a comfort and I know her very well.
“they beg me to write them so they’ll never die when I’m dead” reminds me of the desire to take photos to document the weight loss, so even after I’m dead people will be able to see the “success”.
I think this song is about an eating disorder. The first verse is describing how someone gets hooked with an ED. “They send me away to find them a fortune” reminds me of the promise from Ana (in my case) that I’ll be happy once I’m thin, all my problems will disappear. “The house was awake, the shadows and monsters, the hallways, they echoed and groaned” makes me think of the various triggers around my house that remind me of how “imperfect” I am. “I sat alone, in bed till the morning. I’m crying, “they’re coming for me”” for me sleeping is an escape from the constant obsessive thoughts but then when I wake up in the morning they are right there again (they’re coming for me). “I tried to hold these secrets inside me” is about the struggle to hide the disorder. “My minds like a deadly disease” anorexia can be a deadly disease so I think this is pretty on point. “I’m bigger than my body/ I’m bigger than these bones” is all about body image and how it doesn’t matter how small I get I’ll feel and believe I look bigger than I actually am. “I’m colder than this home/ I’m meaner than my demons” is referring to how my self talk is sometimes worse than what Ana tells me. “All the kids cried out. “Please stop, you’re scaring me”” makes me think of how children sometimes stare at people who are extremely thin and sometimes they looked shocked or scared. “I can’t help this awful energy” expresses how powerless I feel to this disorder. “God damn right, you should be scared of me” I always think people should be afraid of my mind because of how toxic and cruel it is. “Who is in control?” For me my eating disorder is about control and starving makes me feel in control but since I feel often that I can’t actually make the decision to eat without feeling awful about it it makes me question who is really in control? “I paced around for hours on empty” is taking about the over exercising aspect. “I jumped at the slightest of sounds” this might be a bit of a stretch but I think of the word “sounds” as gaining weight. And how scary of an idea it is to gain weight.
“I couldnt stand the person inside me. I turned all the mirrors around” both of these lyrics are very literal. “I’m well acquainted with the villains that live in my head” being with the villain of Ana is typically a comfort and I know her very well. “they beg me to write them so they’ll never die when I’m dead” reminds me of the desire to take photos to document the weight loss, so even after I’m dead people will be able to see the “success”.