This particular song spoke to me, and still does when I hear it.
I feel this duality that she is talking about. I have felt that other person inside of me, too, "hiding underneath the skin." This slick, suede, person that is different from what you usually consider to be "yourself." And this person is just as much part of you as they are foreign to you. (Like in Cruel, also by Tori) But sometimes this other persona just seems to take over, (mass so big it can swallow her whole star intact) and can make you wonder where the line is between yourself and this other persona that pops up from time to time and confuses things (my absorption lines are frayed).
Now I see how this sounds like a schizo, the dual personalities thing, but everytime I have ever encountered this "alternate me" is when I find I have done or I am in the act of doing something that I didn't think I was capable of doing. Usually it was all bad stuff... like in the song, "call me 'evil', call me 'tide is on your side', anything you want. anybody knows you can conjure anything by the dark of the moon." Like anybody knows you can get into just about anything when the sun goes down. In my 20s I did some weird sneaking around type stuff- it was weird - and I remember physically saying out loud to myself, "What are you doing?!" But something had a hold on me... and I couldn't talk myself into just stopping.
But when I go through these spells - it never lasts too long. and in the end it all kind of washes out, and I want to just separate myself from myself! Worn out and ragged... what is left over, what is left after all the drama is over, is just heartbroken. And that's where the song really sings - "Oh little sister, I hoped you wouldn't feel that way. Oh little sister, you'll forgive me one day."
-Suede.
And it does take time before you can forgive yourself for the things you've done that you can't believe you were capable of doing. Some people would think of it as a bad memory and leave it at that. But I remember my actions as deliberate, and there was a wildness to me, something feral, something primal, something different. And Tori calls hers Suede. I don't know what to call mine. I think Suede will suffice. And I hope Suede doesn't show up again too soon.
@ericacmiller I know exactly what you mean. Every word you said. I don't think Tori quite meant it that way, but I feel your interpretation. Suede is one of my most personal songs. When I hear "you must forgive yourself" - I just cock my head like a confused dog. So, little sister...
@ericacmiller I know exactly what you mean. Every word you said. I don't think Tori quite meant it that way, but I feel your interpretation. Suede is one of my most personal songs. When I hear "you must forgive yourself" - I just cock my head like a confused dog. So, little sister...
This particular song spoke to me, and still does when I hear it. I feel this duality that she is talking about. I have felt that other person inside of me, too, "hiding underneath the skin." This slick, suede, person that is different from what you usually consider to be "yourself." And this person is just as much part of you as they are foreign to you. (Like in Cruel, also by Tori) But sometimes this other persona just seems to take over, (mass so big it can swallow her whole star intact) and can make you wonder where the line is between yourself and this other persona that pops up from time to time and confuses things (my absorption lines are frayed).
Now I see how this sounds like a schizo, the dual personalities thing, but everytime I have ever encountered this "alternate me" is when I find I have done or I am in the act of doing something that I didn't think I was capable of doing. Usually it was all bad stuff... like in the song, "call me 'evil', call me 'tide is on your side', anything you want. anybody knows you can conjure anything by the dark of the moon." Like anybody knows you can get into just about anything when the sun goes down. In my 20s I did some weird sneaking around type stuff- it was weird - and I remember physically saying out loud to myself, "What are you doing?!" But something had a hold on me... and I couldn't talk myself into just stopping.
But when I go through these spells - it never lasts too long. and in the end it all kind of washes out, and I want to just separate myself from myself! Worn out and ragged... what is left over, what is left after all the drama is over, is just heartbroken. And that's where the song really sings - "Oh little sister, I hoped you wouldn't feel that way. Oh little sister, you'll forgive me one day." -Suede. And it does take time before you can forgive yourself for the things you've done that you can't believe you were capable of doing. Some people would think of it as a bad memory and leave it at that. But I remember my actions as deliberate, and there was a wildness to me, something feral, something primal, something different. And Tori calls hers Suede. I don't know what to call mine. I think Suede will suffice. And I hope Suede doesn't show up again too soon.
I know someone out there knows what I mean.
@ericacmiller I know exactly what you mean. Every word you said. I don't think Tori quite meant it that way, but I feel your interpretation. Suede is one of my most personal songs. When I hear "you must forgive yourself" - I just cock my head like a confused dog. So, little sister...
@ericacmiller I know exactly what you mean. Every word you said. I don't think Tori quite meant it that way, but I feel your interpretation. Suede is one of my most personal songs. When I hear "you must forgive yourself" - I just cock my head like a confused dog. So, little sister...