Sometimes people choose relationships to avoid rather than experience intimacy. Sometimes our "fear of failure" prevents us from believing we can have the connection and edification we really want and deserve with another person. We choose partners we don't really admire or feel safe with or who allow us to maintain our habitual emotional distance.
building a shed--building a relationship
Between here and heaven, between the wait and the wedding--between the past relationships we've had and the ones we really want and deserve, a stopping or waiting place along the way
Or as long as we both shall be dead to the world--as long as we continue to make ourselves unavailable to opportunities for real intimacy that the world is constantly presenting to us
We can practice our lines--in this relationship, we can continue repeating the habits and messages that make us feel safe and keep us guarded against the risk of vulnerability and intimacy
Fall, not winter, spring, not summer, cool, not cold And it’s warm, not hot--these relationships are exciting, fun, romantic, but they don't penetrate to the deepest parts of ourselves
With an arrow and bow--tools for hunting, for finding more partners
and some seeds left to sow--the proverbial desire for excitement, newness, and a kind of lonely freedom and power
we are staking our claim On ground so fertile, we forget who we’ve hurt along the way--there are so many people in the city or world who can fill these roles for us that they become interchangeable and forgettable
And reach out for a strange hand to hold--we distract ourselves from acknowledging our patterns by finding someone new to occupy our attention
Someone strong, but not bold enough to tear down the wall--these partners have attractive qualities, so it's easy to justify to ourselves and our friends why we keep choosing them, though none of them ever really get close to us
‘Cause we aren’t lost enough to find--we haven't felt our loneliness acutely or clearly enough to recognize it and change this pattern that perpetuates it
the stars aren’t crossed why align 'em--nothing seems dramatically wrong, so we can justify why we aren't trying something new or trying to change
And why fall hard not soft--so why risk intimacy? why not let it be cute or literary, like a movie?
I agree with your interpretation and appreciate its line-by-line nature. Especially the symbolism of bow/arrow and seeds.
I agree with your interpretation and appreciate its line-by-line nature. Especially the symbolism of bow/arrow and seeds.
Curious what you think of "Beyond the boys and the girls trying to keep us calm"--that line had actually made me think the couple is considering marriage, and their friends who see the disastrous nature of a marriage without intimacy are trying to dissuade them, but they proceed, stonefaced.
Curious what you think of "Beyond the boys and the girls trying to keep us calm"--that line had actually made me think the couple is considering marriage, and their friends who see the disastrous nature of a marriage without intimacy are trying to dissuade them, but they proceed, stonefaced.
Sometimes people choose relationships to avoid rather than experience intimacy. Sometimes our "fear of failure" prevents us from believing we can have the connection and edification we really want and deserve with another person. We choose partners we don't really admire or feel safe with or who allow us to maintain our habitual emotional distance.
building a shed--building a relationship
Between here and heaven, between the wait and the wedding--between the past relationships we've had and the ones we really want and deserve, a stopping or waiting place along the way
Or as long as we both shall be dead to the world--as long as we continue to make ourselves unavailable to opportunities for real intimacy that the world is constantly presenting to us
We can practice our lines--in this relationship, we can continue repeating the habits and messages that make us feel safe and keep us guarded against the risk of vulnerability and intimacy
Fall, not winter, spring, not summer, cool, not cold And it’s warm, not hot--these relationships are exciting, fun, romantic, but they don't penetrate to the deepest parts of ourselves
With an arrow and bow--tools for hunting, for finding more partners
and some seeds left to sow--the proverbial desire for excitement, newness, and a kind of lonely freedom and power
we are staking our claim On ground so fertile, we forget who we’ve hurt along the way--there are so many people in the city or world who can fill these roles for us that they become interchangeable and forgettable
And reach out for a strange hand to hold--we distract ourselves from acknowledging our patterns by finding someone new to occupy our attention
Someone strong, but not bold enough to tear down the wall--these partners have attractive qualities, so it's easy to justify to ourselves and our friends why we keep choosing them, though none of them ever really get close to us
‘Cause we aren’t lost enough to find--we haven't felt our loneliness acutely or clearly enough to recognize it and change this pattern that perpetuates it
the stars aren’t crossed why align 'em--nothing seems dramatically wrong, so we can justify why we aren't trying something new or trying to change
And why fall hard not soft--so why risk intimacy? why not let it be cute or literary, like a movie?
Perhaps the stars were never meant to align. I think my journal entry addresses that.
Perhaps the stars were never meant to align. I think my journal entry addresses that.
jonathanmrussom - Very thoughtful response. Thanks.
jonathanmrussom - Very thoughtful response. Thanks.
Stop talking to yourself. "Thoughtful" is not in your vocabulary. Getting laid is...so enjoy it tonight and every night, Big Boy. Yawn.
Stop talking to yourself. "Thoughtful" is not in your vocabulary. Getting laid is...so enjoy it tonight and every night, Big Boy. Yawn.
I agree with your interpretation and appreciate its line-by-line nature. Especially the symbolism of bow/arrow and seeds.
I agree with your interpretation and appreciate its line-by-line nature. Especially the symbolism of bow/arrow and seeds.
Curious what you think of "Beyond the boys and the girls trying to keep us calm"--that line had actually made me think the couple is considering marriage, and their friends who see the disastrous nature of a marriage without intimacy are trying to dissuade them, but they proceed, stonefaced.
Curious what you think of "Beyond the boys and the girls trying to keep us calm"--that line had actually made me think the couple is considering marriage, and their friends who see the disastrous nature of a marriage without intimacy are trying to dissuade them, but they proceed, stonefaced.
@jonathanmrussom brilliant!!! Thank you for writing that!!!
@jonathanmrussom brilliant!!! Thank you for writing that!!!