Here and Heaven

Sometimes people choose relationships to avoid rather than experience intimacy. Sometimes our "fear of failure" prevents us from believing we can have the connection and edification we really want and deserve with another person. We choose partners we don't really admire or feel safe with or who allow us to maintain our habitual emotional distance.

building a shed--building a relationship

Between here and heaven, between the wait and the wedding--between the past relationships we've had and the ones we really want and deserve, a stopping or waiting place along the way

Or as long as we both shall be dead to the world--as long as we continue to make ourselves unavailable to opportunities for real intimacy that the world is constantly presenting to us

We can practice our lines--in this relationship, we can continue repeating the habits and messages that make us feel safe and keep us guarded against the risk of vulnerability and intimacy

Fall, not winter, spring, not summer, cool, not cold And it’s warm, not hot--these relationships are exciting, fun, romantic, but they don't penetrate to the deepest parts of ourselves

With an arrow and bow--tools for hunting, for finding more partners

and some seeds left to sow--the proverbial desire for excitement, newness, and a kind of lonely freedom and power

we are staking our claim On ground so fertile, we forget who we’ve hurt along the way--there are so many people in the city or world who can fill these roles for us that they become interchangeable and forgettable

And reach out for a strange hand to hold--we distract ourselves from acknowledging our patterns by finding someone new to occupy our attention

Someone strong, but not bold enough to tear down the wall--these partners have attractive qualities, so it's easy to justify to ourselves and our friends why we keep choosing them, though none of them ever really get close to us

‘Cause we aren’t lost enough to find--we haven't felt our loneliness acutely or clearly enough to recognize it and change this pattern that perpetuates it

the stars aren’t crossed why align 'em--nothing seems dramatically wrong, so we can justify why we aren't trying something new or trying to change

And why fall hard not soft--so why risk intimacy? why not let it be cute or literary, like a movie?

I'm in love with this song.

First, I think the second verse is off slightly. The lyrics should read: "'Cause we're not lost enough to find the stars aren't crossed why align them why fall hard not soft into..."

It makes a difference.

As far as what the lyrics mean, I'm not really sure. It seems like kind of sad, pessimistic song about relationships. Instead of the traditional line from marriage vows "For as long as we both shall live" it's changed to "for as long as we both shall be dead," as if being married kills part of you.

The chorus seems to advocate for playing it safe, opting for something less than an extreme (fall not winter, spring not summer, cool not cold, warm not hot). Perhaps the idea is that the singer is settling, knowing that they're getting older.

The second verse suggests more of the same to me. The singer still craves a relationship but only in a limited, safe fashion. Why take a risk and fall hard for someone? Why not guard yourself and fall soft into fall not winter, spring not summer, etc.

I'd love to hear some feedback on this.

I have only just found this song but my thoughts are that it is about so much more than just relationships and more about finding someone, falling in love, starting a family and living your lives together. I have added my thoughts to the sections of the lyrics below;

With a hammer and nails and a fear of failure we are building a shed - Building a home together

Between here and heaven, between the wait and the wedding For as long as we both shall be dead to the world

• From getting married, living our lives until "the wait" until our time on this planet is finished.

  Beyond the boys and the girls trying to keep us calm We can practice our lines ’til we’re deaf and blind To ourselves, to each other, where it’s

  • having children, doing your best to raise them into successful adults (I remember practicing/repeating lines regularly to my kids)

  Fall, not winter; spring, not summer; cool, not cold And it’s warm, not hot; have we all forgotten that we’re getting old?

  • The years keep going, we keep living our lives with all it's ups and downs and one day we look in the mirror and an go Man, I've got old, how did that happen? ( believe me, this will happen to us all)

  With an arrow and bow and some seeds left to sow, we are staking our claim On ground so fertile, we forget who we’ve hurt along the way

  • We've created a family, which has been our focus and priority

  And reach out for a strange hand to hold Someone strong, but not bold enough to tear down the wall ’Cause we ain’t lost enough to find the stars ain’t crossed—why align them? Why fall hard, not soft into

• When you are young, you want to take on the world. As you get older your priorities change, and you realise that falling and staying in love, creating a happy home, having children and raising them to successful adults and growing old together is where real happiness lies.

  Fall, not winter; spring, not summer; cool, not cold Where it’s warm, not hot; have we all forgotten that we’re getting old?

Anyway, this is what this song says to me. I've already told my family that I want this played at my funeral (which I hope is a few years away yet) as I think it sums up what's important in life - falling in love, staying in love, creating a happy family and home.

I believe the song is about the first settlers in America trying to build their life. Building a shed, bow and arrow, seeds, claiming the land, fertile soil ('we forgot who we've hurt along the way) Song of the hope of the promised land and hardships that comes with that promise.

I feel to translate meaning of the song the connotation of the words is good to look into.

To me it can point to people in general not living life to the fullest and keeping themself in a mundane existence, and he is pointing out “hey, wake up! Don’t you know we are getting old? Its time to live!”

Or it can be about him talking about himself and his own relationship with partner and settling for something false or trying to escape monotony.

To me its about being in between and limbo, and speaking out of fear as it says

“With a hammer and nails and a “fear of failure” we are building a shed”

Anything done out of fear is negative. And a type of protection “building a shed” it doesn’t say “house” shed is more like an “out building” they are creating to escape.

Then its suggest being in limbo, in a non committed space. As if a temporary fix. Like not being committed fully.

“Between here and heaven” , between the “wait and the wedding”

Can mean between waiting for someone right, and also finally committing to getting married.

“For as long as we both shall be dead”

A play on words when exchanging vows “for as long as we shall live. Could mean also setting for someone instead of facing fear of commitment and taking step into life and choosing someone boldly and stepping forward.

“Beyond the boys and the girls trying to keep us calm We can practice our lines ’til we’re deaf and blind To ourselves, to each other, where it’s Fall, not winter; spring, not summer; cool, not cold And it’s warm, not hot; have we all forgotten that we’re getting old?”

Saying they can practice their lines but its not their true feeling for each other thats why it would make them deaf and blind to the truth which is opposite the lines... which are “i commit to you, I love you” it can also mean the writer is afraid of losing spontaneity and afraid of falling into mediocre. But it also sounds as if he is saying in the shed they can practice their lines and be fake with each other and stay in limbo instead of being honest and splitting or being with someone they really want to marry.

“With an arrow and bow and some seeds left to sow, we are staking our claim “

This is the age old phallic sexual symbolism with words... implying they are choosing self gratification.

“On ground so fertile, we forget who we’ve hurt along the way “

Again sex, acting out of the chemistry of youth, but its negative saying as if reckless begaviour as they “forgetting who they have hurt along the way” maybe choosing similar temporary body based partnerships again and again instead of something solid and real.

And “reach out for a “strange” hand to hold”

Again reaching to strangers for comfort... different not deep intimate partners...

Someone strong, but “not bold enough to tear down the wall”

Again negative, that person isnt bold enough, and they aren’t able to tear down the mask or false wall that is build from “fear of failure” remember.

’Cause we ain’t lost enough to find the stars ain’t crossed—why align them?

Instead of being honest with self and each other, they rather not face reality, and just keep going on with superficial relationship... than face the truth or go deep with someone. So choose someone who may not be alligned but they dont wanna know, or if they are they dont want to fall for them hard and end up in their perceived mediocrisy of a committed routine relationship... or the inevitable mundane reality or limbo of life suggested by the main chorus. The person feels the rather escape life and yet they know they have to live it but they trying to buffer that, with the shed and “falling soft” instead of “hard”. They kind of biding their time...

“Why fall hard, not soft into”

In one sense, they are saying How long will we do this. “We are getting to old for this.”

And in another they are saying, hey I keep doing this because “life is to short, for mundane, I am getting old”

Fall, not winter; spring, not summer; cool, not cold Where it’s warm, not hot; have we all forgotten that we’re getting old?

And it’s fall, not winter; spring, not su