This song speaks to me on so many levels. I was nearly broken down to tears when I first heard the piano version. Even after hearing it a million times over, I still feel shaken to the core when I listen to it. Every time is still the first time.
You see, I'm a closeted gay male and it kills me to have to hide who I am in fear of losing the ones I love. No one knows that I'm gay. Not a single soul. I've been in denial about it for years. I'm a screaming cry for help and I feel like no one can hear me. I cry myself to sleep some nights because I'm so hurt by being who I am.
"Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for
You to come rescue me"
This has two different meanings for me. There's the knight-in-shining-armor aspect: I've recently befriended a gay guy that I'm hopelessly falling for but I know we can never be because I'm "straight" and he's taken. This is the guy I think of every morning and every night. I just want so badly for him to be the one to hold me and show me all the reasons why I should come out.
And then there's the other aspect in which my family tells me that they know that I'm gay and they accept me and still love me. I just don't want them to look at me any differently and I definitely don't want them to treat me any differently.
"I am fearing it all,
Stuck inside these walls"
I'm too afraid to let myself out of the closet because of fear of rejection from everyone that I know.
"Tell me there is hope for me
Is anybody out there listening?"
Sometimes, I give up all hope in living a truly happy life. I just wish that one day someone will tell me that everything will be okay and I actually believe it.
everything will be ok, you just gotta keep fighting! I know that the fear of rejection is such a strong fear, but your friends if they have a problem with you being gay being who you are, they are not your friends. i hope someday soon you will come out of the closet and be happy and feel loved, cause everyone needs to feel those 2 (feelings) in there life. =)
everything will be ok, you just gotta keep fighting! I know that the fear of rejection is such a strong fear, but your friends if they have a problem with you being gay being who you are, they are not your friends. i hope someday soon you will come out of the closet and be happy and feel loved, cause everyone needs to feel those 2 (feelings) in there life. =)
I've never actually visited this website before but was reading these comments and felt I had to make an account to respond to yours, even though quite a lot of time has passed since you posted this.
I've never actually visited this website before but was reading these comments and felt I had to make an account to respond to yours, even though quite a lot of time has passed since you posted this.
I, like you, am a gay male, and I know how much it hurts to have to hide from your loved ones. It's indescribable to anyone who's not gone through it, but the fear is so great that being open (something you want more than anything else to be with people so important to you) could destroy everything, even their love for you....
I, like you, am a gay male, and I know how much it hurts to have to hide from your loved ones. It's indescribable to anyone who's not gone through it, but the fear is so great that being open (something you want more than anything else to be with people so important to you) could destroy everything, even their love for you. And while you know that this may not be true (indeed, it likely isn't), nothing can make you feel differently. It's a desperately crushing feeling. Believe me, that so many of us have cried ourselves to sleep like you have; me included.
But I promise you, from the bottom of my heart and as sincerely as anyone ever could, that you will be loved. Coming out is not as painful as you fear, and while I can't guarantee that it will be easy - it hasn't been plain-sailing for me with a very religious family - but you will come through the other side much stronger, and there will be much less damage than you fear. But that's not all I mean. I see so much of myself, and such desire for love in your message (and in you) that I really hope you will listen to me, because you need not feel alone. There are so many people out there who will see it in you too, and who will love you if you only let them. DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE, because it's all out there for you. And you will be happy.
You may not believe it when I, a total stranger, tell you, but believe me if about nothing else, that one day soon you WILL believe it. Because it will happen, and then you will have no more doubts. I don't want the world (or even other people like myself) to lose anybody like you, when you will make someone else happy too.
Be strong, and know that you are not alone, not really, and that you will be happier than you can now even imagine. I don't even know how to end this, but I'm a bit choked just thinking about it all. Wherever you are, I wish you all the happiness in the world.
@Conspiracies
I hope you found peace.
The book, Velvet Rage is helping me understand some of what you're struggling with.
The stories and examples of the men in the book are dated and may not seem like you but the message is correct.
The solutions make sense and are helpful.
@Conspiracies
I hope you found peace.
The book, Velvet Rage is helping me understand some of what you're struggling with.
The stories and examples of the men in the book are dated and may not seem like you but the message is correct.
The solutions make sense and are helpful.
This song speaks to me on so many levels. I was nearly broken down to tears when I first heard the piano version. Even after hearing it a million times over, I still feel shaken to the core when I listen to it. Every time is still the first time.
You see, I'm a closeted gay male and it kills me to have to hide who I am in fear of losing the ones I love. No one knows that I'm gay. Not a single soul. I've been in denial about it for years. I'm a screaming cry for help and I feel like no one can hear me. I cry myself to sleep some nights because I'm so hurt by being who I am.
"Can't you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now? I've been waiting for You to come rescue me"
This has two different meanings for me. There's the knight-in-shining-armor aspect: I've recently befriended a gay guy that I'm hopelessly falling for but I know we can never be because I'm "straight" and he's taken. This is the guy I think of every morning and every night. I just want so badly for him to be the one to hold me and show me all the reasons why I should come out.
And then there's the other aspect in which my family tells me that they know that I'm gay and they accept me and still love me. I just don't want them to look at me any differently and I definitely don't want them to treat me any differently.
"I am fearing it all, Stuck inside these walls"
I'm too afraid to let myself out of the closet because of fear of rejection from everyone that I know.
"Tell me there is hope for me Is anybody out there listening?"
Sometimes, I give up all hope in living a truly happy life. I just wish that one day someone will tell me that everything will be okay and I actually believe it.
everything will be ok, you just gotta keep fighting! I know that the fear of rejection is such a strong fear, but your friends if they have a problem with you being gay being who you are, they are not your friends. i hope someday soon you will come out of the closet and be happy and feel loved, cause everyone needs to feel those 2 (feelings) in there life. =)
everything will be ok, you just gotta keep fighting! I know that the fear of rejection is such a strong fear, but your friends if they have a problem with you being gay being who you are, they are not your friends. i hope someday soon you will come out of the closet and be happy and feel loved, cause everyone needs to feel those 2 (feelings) in there life. =)
I've never actually visited this website before but was reading these comments and felt I had to make an account to respond to yours, even though quite a lot of time has passed since you posted this.
I've never actually visited this website before but was reading these comments and felt I had to make an account to respond to yours, even though quite a lot of time has passed since you posted this.
I, like you, am a gay male, and I know how much it hurts to have to hide from your loved ones. It's indescribable to anyone who's not gone through it, but the fear is so great that being open (something you want more than anything else to be with people so important to you) could destroy everything, even their love for you....
I, like you, am a gay male, and I know how much it hurts to have to hide from your loved ones. It's indescribable to anyone who's not gone through it, but the fear is so great that being open (something you want more than anything else to be with people so important to you) could destroy everything, even their love for you. And while you know that this may not be true (indeed, it likely isn't), nothing can make you feel differently. It's a desperately crushing feeling. Believe me, that so many of us have cried ourselves to sleep like you have; me included.
But I promise you, from the bottom of my heart and as sincerely as anyone ever could, that you will be loved. Coming out is not as painful as you fear, and while I can't guarantee that it will be easy - it hasn't been plain-sailing for me with a very religious family - but you will come through the other side much stronger, and there will be much less damage than you fear. But that's not all I mean. I see so much of myself, and such desire for love in your message (and in you) that I really hope you will listen to me, because you need not feel alone. There are so many people out there who will see it in you too, and who will love you if you only let them. DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE, because it's all out there for you. And you will be happy.
You may not believe it when I, a total stranger, tell you, but believe me if about nothing else, that one day soon you WILL believe it. Because it will happen, and then you will have no more doubts. I don't want the world (or even other people like myself) to lose anybody like you, when you will make someone else happy too.
Be strong, and know that you are not alone, not really, and that you will be happier than you can now even imagine. I don't even know how to end this, but I'm a bit choked just thinking about it all. Wherever you are, I wish you all the happiness in the world.
@Conspiracies I hope you found peace. The book, Velvet Rage is helping me understand some of what you're struggling with. The stories and examples of the men in the book are dated and may not seem like you but the message is correct. The solutions make sense and are helpful.
@Conspiracies I hope you found peace. The book, Velvet Rage is helping me understand some of what you're struggling with. The stories and examples of the men in the book are dated and may not seem like you but the message is correct. The solutions make sense and are helpful.