Ever

I'm in the situation it seems the song is about... Girl falls in love with amazing guy. He shows nothing but confidence in her and is always there for her; he is everything she could want. However, she finds that he doesn't love her the same way she loves him, leaving her to find someone like him (I hold the invitation in my hand; You smile and I don't understand when you tell me the writing ain't yours). However, she's never going to stop loving him, as the chorus suggests. The holy light could be the blessing of love (they say in the musical Les Miserables "To love another is to see the face of God") and it seems like she's watching everyone around her fall in love and pair up, though she's left sitting in the dark watching the man get his share of the light. Now she's a bit jaded and teaches herself to "walk backwards out of any given situation". She's not expecting him to love her in a romantic way anymore, though she would gladly accept if he wanted to give her a chance in a relationship or even to offer some closure to what she thought was requited love. I completely agree; Emilie's older work is overlooked despite the pure emotion and beauty of it.