Lyric discussion by luciemabelle 

Cover art for House Of Fun lyrics by Madness

If you watch the video, Dave_Who, it will be clear that the Mrs Clay is an neighbour who comes into the shop as he's trying to buy the condoms - that's when the rest of the band jump into the shop in old-lady dresses and dance around. He wants the chemist to hurry up before Mrs Clay sees him buying condoms and goes to tell his mum or something. Then at the end the shop tell the kid they don't sell "party gimmicks", having failed to understand his euphemism for condoms, and so he gives up, just as old Mrs Clay wishes him "Many Happy Returns" for his 16th birthday. Def nothing to do with prostitutes!

Lol I love this song, hilarious, I love the bit when he adds "a toothbrush and hairspray" like he's just trying to be casual!