Good morning miss
Can I help you son?
Sixteen today
And up for fun
I'm a big boy now
Or so they say
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

Box of balloons
With the feather-light touch
Pack of party-poppers
That pop in the night
A toothbrush and hairspray
Plastic grin
Miss Clay on all corners
Has just walked in

Welcome to the house of fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the house of fun
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the House of

N-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
Sixteen big boy
Full pint in my manhood
I'm up to date
And the date's today
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

Welcome to the house of fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the house of fun

I'm sorry son
But we don't stock
Party gimmicks
In this shop
Try the House of Fun
It's quicker if you run
This is a chemist
Not a jokers' shop!

Party hats
Simple enough clear
Comprehend savvy understand
Do you hear?
A pack of party hats
With the colored tips
Too late!
Gorgon's heard gossip
Well hello Joe, hello Miss Clay
Many happy returns from the day

Welcome to the house of fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the house of fun
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the house of fun

Welcome to the house of fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the house of fun
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the house of fun

Welcome to the house of fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the house of fun


Lyrics submitted by messymiss9

House Of Fun Lyrics as written by Christopher John Foreman Cathal Joseph Smyth

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Royalty Network

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

House Of Fun song meanings
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24 Comments

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  • +2
    Song MeaningThe song tells the story of a boy who has just turned sixteen (the legal age of consent in the UK) and has gone to a chemist shop to buy some condoms, because society has decided that he's ready to have sex ("I'm a big boy now, or so they say").

    Unfortunately though, he really isn't ready to have sex. "Temptation's on his way" makes it sound like he doesn't even have anybody in particular lined up to have sex with. He just assumes that he's going to be having some now that he's turned sixteen.

    He's also way less mature than he thinks he is, and so finds the whole experience incredibly embarassing (exacerbated due to the presence of a female shop assistant and 'Miss Clay', whose title of 'miss' suggests that she is probably either a friend of his parents' or a teacher, another reminder that he's not a full adult).

    He resorts to using euphemisms such as "party poppers", "balloons" and "party hats"— items generally associated with childhood— prompting the chemist to send him out of the grownup world of the chemist shop and off to the local joke shop.

    The humour in the song comes from the boy's desperate attempts to pass himself off as an adult, while his own immaturity and lack of confidence about his sexuality and events around him (such as the unlucky arrival of Miss Clay), foil him.

    The chorus was added on last minute, after the song had been written and recorded (somebody demanded that they add a chorus so that the song would be more popular). The hook "welcome to the house of fun" has a double meaning. At first, it represents the adult world— specifically the world of sex— that the boy hopes to enter by purchasing condoms. By the end though, it has become mocking, as the boy has been told to go to the "house of fun" jokeshop, the domain of childhood.
    anita11229on March 03, 2018   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis song is about a kid who turns 16, and goes to a pharmacy to get condoms, but calling them "balloons," gets told to go to a toy shop, as he becomes more frustrated. Don't really like this song, but it's ok. uh... yeah.
    Gamzilla0on August 16, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General CommentIt is in fact a very good track and that is true about the content of the story. When o when will people stop using it on kids' tv shows in a literal 'house of fun' context.... will they ever learn?...
    monkeygodon September 23, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThe Youngs Ones was the first and in my view best alternative comedy series in the UK - from 1982 (9pm every Mon night) - see it was that good it is etched in my mind. They had many great songs of the day interspersed in the madcap 30 mins. This indeed was in the episode "Boring". I also liked Lemmy and Motorhead's Ace of Spades in the University Challenge episode.
    This song is indeed about a youngster turning 16 (the legal age of consent in UK) and going to get his first pack of condoms but is embarassed by the fact its a female assistant.
    CharmingManon February 21, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentIf you watch the video, Dave_Who, it will be clear that the Mrs Clay is an neighbour who comes into the shop as he's trying to buy the condoms - that's when the rest of the band jump into the shop in old-lady dresses and dance around. He wants the chemist to hurry up before Mrs Clay sees him buying condoms and goes to tell his mum or something. Then at the end the shop tell the kid they don't sell "party gimmicks", having failed to understand his euphemism for condoms, and so he gives up, just as old Mrs Clay wishes him "Many Happy Returns" for his 16th birthday. Def nothing to do with prostitutes!

    Lol I love this song, hilarious, I love the bit when he adds "a toothbrush and hairspray" like he's just trying to be casual!
    luciemabelleon June 27, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Commentomg i cant belive sum ppl dont realise that this song is about a kid about 2 get laid i mean DUUHHH!!!!!
    clagsniperx2on January 15, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentLove this song!!! Anyone else Reckon the "Miss Clay on all corners" means she's a hooker?
    Dave_Who?on May 06, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti love it

    i'm trying to recall which episode of the young ones they play it in
    daddioon May 15, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentAh, fun song! Even with that meaning!

    I believe it's in the episode of the Young Ones called "Boring". I remember they went down the pub and they were there along with Vyv's mum.
    CharlieLoveon October 13, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentnot the nine o'clock news and a kick up the eighties were two other alternative comedy series, with the former predating the young ones. But all absolutely excellent. The songs about suggs being caught by a neighbour when buying condoms.
    joeschiavoneon March 01, 2006   Link

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