He's trying to hold on to what he is, and its taking a superhuman effort to do it. He's trying to keep himself grounded in his own reality but the world around him keeps pushing him to change and grow up, hence his world is "falling down around" him. His previous notions aren't valid anymore and he's trying to find out what exactly is real and he's torn between his world and the "mature one" ("I'm singing this song/ to try and make the answers/ more than maybe")
"and I'm so confused..."
the refrain is basically saying that he's so torn between it, doesn't know what he's supposed to do about it that its enough to make him wanna "throw it all away", or kill himself.
"So here I am..."
He's growing older, looking older, but he's still acting like a kid, and he sees his attitude as making him mentally "younger" all the time compared to those around him.
"I'm trying to sleep..."
Its making his brain basically rev, all he can think about is his dilemma as he vacillates between the two worlds (running circles). He doesn't know what else he can do above what he's already doing and what he already is because he doesn't have a problem with who he is, but apparently others do.
"Controlling everything in sight"
This is where he makes up his mind, after he realizes that people telling him to change and act his age make him sick, he basically gives a big FUCK YOU to everyone and says "I'm staying right where I'm at, screw growing older". He finishes with a decisive "if all that I can do/ is just sit and watch time go/ then I'll have to say goodbye / life's too short to watch it fly." which is pretty obvious, but basically "I don't wanna grow up and just watch life pass me by at a 9-5 job, and if that's my only option I'd rather die"
The repeat of the opening lines here is fairly significant as well... in the beginning its kind of a "I'm so confused" statement, he's trying desperately to hold on to what he has in the face of everything trying to control him, now he's basically saying "I'm gonna hold on to what I am and fuck you if you try and take it away". Same words, slightly different meaning after the decision.
I love this song, it parallels my own life and thoughts in so many ways.
you couldn't be more right. I'm the same way. I'm 19 and im just going from the fun high school life to getting a job, paying for gas and insurance, paying bills, paying rent, and waking up every morning at 6am! its driving me crazy! all i wanna do is play video games, watch movies, hangout with friends, and party! I don't want to grow up and give it all up just yet.
you couldn't be more right. I'm the same way. I'm 19 and im just going from the fun high school life to getting a job, paying for gas and insurance, paying bills, paying rent, and waking up every morning at 6am! its driving me crazy! all i wanna do is play video games, watch movies, hangout with friends, and party! I don't want to grow up and give it all up just yet.
Seewa's pretty much got it.
He's trying to hold on to what he is, and its taking a superhuman effort to do it. He's trying to keep himself grounded in his own reality but the world around him keeps pushing him to change and grow up, hence his world is "falling down around" him. His previous notions aren't valid anymore and he's trying to find out what exactly is real and he's torn between his world and the "mature one" ("I'm singing this song/ to try and make the answers/ more than maybe")
"and I'm so confused..."
the refrain is basically saying that he's so torn between it, doesn't know what he's supposed to do about it that its enough to make him wanna "throw it all away", or kill himself.
"So here I am..."
He's growing older, looking older, but he's still acting like a kid, and he sees his attitude as making him mentally "younger" all the time compared to those around him.
"I'm trying to sleep..."
Its making his brain basically rev, all he can think about is his dilemma as he vacillates between the two worlds (running circles). He doesn't know what else he can do above what he's already doing and what he already is because he doesn't have a problem with who he is, but apparently others do.
"Controlling everything in sight"
This is where he makes up his mind, after he realizes that people telling him to change and act his age make him sick, he basically gives a big FUCK YOU to everyone and says "I'm staying right where I'm at, screw growing older". He finishes with a decisive "if all that I can do/ is just sit and watch time go/ then I'll have to say goodbye / life's too short to watch it fly." which is pretty obvious, but basically "I don't wanna grow up and just watch life pass me by at a 9-5 job, and if that's my only option I'd rather die"
The repeat of the opening lines here is fairly significant as well... in the beginning its kind of a "I'm so confused" statement, he's trying desperately to hold on to what he has in the face of everything trying to control him, now he's basically saying "I'm gonna hold on to what I am and fuck you if you try and take it away". Same words, slightly different meaning after the decision.
I love this song, it parallels my own life and thoughts in so many ways.
you couldn't be more right. I'm the same way. I'm 19 and im just going from the fun high school life to getting a job, paying for gas and insurance, paying bills, paying rent, and waking up every morning at 6am! its driving me crazy! all i wanna do is play video games, watch movies, hangout with friends, and party! I don't want to grow up and give it all up just yet.
you couldn't be more right. I'm the same way. I'm 19 and im just going from the fun high school life to getting a job, paying for gas and insurance, paying bills, paying rent, and waking up every morning at 6am! its driving me crazy! all i wanna do is play video games, watch movies, hangout with friends, and party! I don't want to grow up and give it all up just yet.