Crawling In The Dark

This song came to mind the other day. I was driving home from school thinking about my life, destiny, the fate of the world, and the part I will play in it all. My interpretation of this may require a little bit of background information. I have a bit of an obsession with end of the world theories, because my whole life I've felt that I was destined to play a part in it all. I've always had these strange dreams that feel prophetic.

I was driving home the other day, thinking about how, despite all of the dreams, all of the clues I have, I'm still completely in the dark about it all. This song popped into my head. I listened to it when I came home, and I realized it parallels what I was thinking about perfectly. I know my way of interpretting this song is probably a little out there, but I'll post it here anyway. So, here is my interpretation of the whole song and what it means to me:

"I will dedidcate And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth Of how my story's ending"

I want to know how it will all end. Even if I will die in the end, I want to know. This is important to me.

"And I wish I could know if the directions that I take And all the choices that I make Won't end up all for nothing"

I have no idea what I'm doing right now. I don't know if the things I'm doing in my life right now will help me in the future. Even if I weren't destined to save the world, I'd still be confused about it all. I just wish I could know what direction to go, what choices to make, what things I should be doing in order to help me in the future. Sometimes I worry that everything I'm doing now will be completely useless when it all gets down to it. I hadn't even been considering it in the choices that I've been making. That reminds me of how a few weeks ago, I was brainstorming skills that would be useful in a post-apocalyptic scenario, in order to help me decide what classes to take next semester.

"Show me what it's for Make me understand it"

I understand this sentiment all too well. I just wish I could somehow know what it's all for. I want to understand. I wish there was some magical key that fit it all together.

"I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer"

This is exactly what I've been doing. And this line is the one that popped into my head the other day when I was thinking about all of this. I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answer. There's no better way to word it.

"Is there something more Than what I've been handed? I've been crawling in the dark Looking for the answer"

I know there's something more than what I've been handed. But I can't see it. What is it? Seriously, the line "I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answer" describes it all too well.

"Help me carry on Assure me it's ok to Use my heart and not my eyes To navigate the darkness"

It's hard to use one's eyes in the darkness. I've been using my heart. It's all I have to go on. I'm in the dark, metaphorically. I have no clues. For all I could know, I could be navigating in circles. All I've got to go on is my heart, and I don't even know how reliable that is.

"Will the ending be ever coming suddenly Will I ever get to see the ending to my story"

I really like this line. It has a lot of meaning to me. I don't know when the ending could come. It could be any time now. And "my story"... Wow. I've started to write down my story so many times. My theory of how it will all end. And I never finish. I can never imagine how it will end.

"So when and how will I know?"

I've been asking this question for as long as I can remember. When will I know the answer? How will I know the answer? Will it ever come to me?

"How much further do I have to go? How much longer till I finally know?"

Related to the last line, but this one has that feeling of thinking it could be any time now. But it never is. Will I ever know?

"Cause I'm looking and I just can't see What's in front of me In front of me"

I thought this part was clever. "in front of me" could refer to both what is in front of me spacially, but it can also refer to the future. I'm looking to know what the future holds, and I can't see it. Even though I feel like all of the answers have been given to me, I just can't piece it all together.

So, that's my interpretation of this song. It's about my thoughts. Is it just a coincidence, or is it by destiny that I'd hear this song? I'd love to talk to someone else who sees the same thing in this song.