I don't think it's about being gay. While it certainly could be about somebody who is gay, homosexuality isn't the issue.
The issue is "a shyness that is criminally vulgar." This is about someone who desperately "need[s] to be loved," but, try as he might, he lacks the social skills to make a connection with somebody. Perhaps he suffers from Asperger's Syndrome or Social Anxiety Disorder.
"You shut your mouth! How can you say that I go about things the wrong way?" is his frustrated response to well-meaning but decidedly unhelpful advice.
One example of such advice is, "Get out of the house! Put yourself out there, and you'll might somebody." "Well, there's a club..."
So he follows the advice, and goes to this club, but he doesn't understand what to do when he gets there. He doesn't know how to approach somebody and start a conversation, especially when it seems like everybody else is already involved in a conversation with somebody, and he really doesn't know how to approach a group of people and interject himself into an existing conversation on a topic about which he knows nothing.
So he ends up spending the evening standing around on his own, watching other people, observing, futilely trying to figure out how they do it, and why it seems so easy for everybody except him. As he stands there, watching everybody else seeming to have such an easy time and so naturally doing what is so impossible for him, he feels worse and worse about himself. At the end of the night, having spent most or all of it alone, he goes home, still alone, throws himself on the bed (where he will sleep -- you guessed it -- alone), and cries.
Other examples of unhelpful advice (not mentioned in the song, but that I know from experience):
"Believe in yourself. Confidence is attractive. If you believe, you will succeed." "The reason you've been experiencing so many years of failure is because you don't believe in yourself."
"Just be yourself."
"You're a great guy with a lot to offer. Eventually you'll meet somebody." This, while obviously well-intentioned, can actually be extremely cruel. Think about the effect of this on somebody who keeps hearing it from a lot of different sources.
"You have to love yourself before somebody else can love you."
"It will happen when you least expect it."
"You have to realize that you don't have to have a relationship to be happy. Look at me, I just went through a very difficult break-up, and you don't see me giving up, do you?"
Finally, ladies, one request on behalf of all the losers: Don't ever say "All the good ones are taken" within earshot of one who is not taken. Remember, losers have feelings, too. Very intense feelings.
Oh, yeah, that reminds me:
"You're not a loser." "You're a great person, and..."
@blah020122 I see that this comment is almost 20 years old, but I had to reply. I had never paid attention to the lyrics until recently. This is the perfect explanation. I can totally relate; as a teen in the 90s, I had few friends and was the only one in my group who never had a boyfriend. I was so painfully shy. I would just get told "You'll grow out of it." I'd read articles about how to get over my social anxiety, but none of them helped because they always just said "be yourself." Socially anxious was who...
@blah020122 I see that this comment is almost 20 years old, but I had to reply. I had never paid attention to the lyrics until recently. This is the perfect explanation. I can totally relate; as a teen in the 90s, I had few friends and was the only one in my group who never had a boyfriend. I was so painfully shy. I would just get told "You'll grow out of it." I'd read articles about how to get over my social anxiety, but none of them helped because they always just said "be yourself." Socially anxious was who I was! Or at least, it seemed that way. I'd go to school dances, hoping someone would notice me... But then I'd just stand alone and wait for someone to ask me to dance instead of asking someone myself. And I really did want to die, because I just could not figure out how to be "normal." It seems that nowadays, it's "cool" to have social anxiety. Or at least, less stigmatized, so more people are comfortable opening up about their anxiety and poor social skills.
These lyrics are actually pretty straightforward.
I don't think it's about being gay. While it certainly could be about somebody who is gay, homosexuality isn't the issue.
The issue is "a shyness that is criminally vulgar." This is about someone who desperately "need[s] to be loved," but, try as he might, he lacks the social skills to make a connection with somebody. Perhaps he suffers from Asperger's Syndrome or Social Anxiety Disorder.
"You shut your mouth! How can you say that I go about things the wrong way?" is his frustrated response to well-meaning but decidedly unhelpful advice.
One example of such advice is, "Get out of the house! Put yourself out there, and you'll might somebody." "Well, there's a club..."
So he follows the advice, and goes to this club, but he doesn't understand what to do when he gets there. He doesn't know how to approach somebody and start a conversation, especially when it seems like everybody else is already involved in a conversation with somebody, and he really doesn't know how to approach a group of people and interject himself into an existing conversation on a topic about which he knows nothing.
So he ends up spending the evening standing around on his own, watching other people, observing, futilely trying to figure out how they do it, and why it seems so easy for everybody except him. As he stands there, watching everybody else seeming to have such an easy time and so naturally doing what is so impossible for him, he feels worse and worse about himself. At the end of the night, having spent most or all of it alone, he goes home, still alone, throws himself on the bed (where he will sleep -- you guessed it -- alone), and cries.
Other examples of unhelpful advice (not mentioned in the song, but that I know from experience):
"Believe in yourself. Confidence is attractive. If you believe, you will succeed." "The reason you've been experiencing so many years of failure is because you don't believe in yourself."
"Just be yourself."
"You're a great guy with a lot to offer. Eventually you'll meet somebody." This, while obviously well-intentioned, can actually be extremely cruel. Think about the effect of this on somebody who keeps hearing it from a lot of different sources.
"You have to love yourself before somebody else can love you."
"It will happen when you least expect it."
"You have to realize that you don't have to have a relationship to be happy. Look at me, I just went through a very difficult break-up, and you don't see me giving up, do you?"
Finally, ladies, one request on behalf of all the losers: Don't ever say "All the good ones are taken" within earshot of one who is not taken. Remember, losers have feelings, too. Very intense feelings.
Oh, yeah, that reminds me:
"You're not a loser." "You're a great person, and..."
@blah020122 I see that this comment is almost 20 years old, but I had to reply. I had never paid attention to the lyrics until recently. This is the perfect explanation. I can totally relate; as a teen in the 90s, I had few friends and was the only one in my group who never had a boyfriend. I was so painfully shy. I would just get told "You'll grow out of it." I'd read articles about how to get over my social anxiety, but none of them helped because they always just said "be yourself." Socially anxious was who...
@blah020122 I see that this comment is almost 20 years old, but I had to reply. I had never paid attention to the lyrics until recently. This is the perfect explanation. I can totally relate; as a teen in the 90s, I had few friends and was the only one in my group who never had a boyfriend. I was so painfully shy. I would just get told "You'll grow out of it." I'd read articles about how to get over my social anxiety, but none of them helped because they always just said "be yourself." Socially anxious was who I was! Or at least, it seemed that way. I'd go to school dances, hoping someone would notice me... But then I'd just stand alone and wait for someone to ask me to dance instead of asking someone myself. And I really did want to die, because I just could not figure out how to be "normal." It seems that nowadays, it's "cool" to have social anxiety. Or at least, less stigmatized, so more people are comfortable opening up about their anxiety and poor social skills.