| Love Spit Love – How Soon Is Now Lyrics | 20 years ago |
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These lyrics are actually pretty straightforward. I don't think it's about being gay. While it certainly could be about somebody who is gay, homosexuality isn't the issue. The issue is "a shyness that is criminally vulgar." This is about someone who desperately "need[s] to be loved," but, try as he might, he lacks the social skills to make a connection with somebody. Perhaps he suffers from Asperger's Syndrome or Social Anxiety Disorder. "You shut your mouth! How can you say that I go about things the wrong way?" is his frustrated response to well-meaning but decidedly unhelpful advice. One example of such advice is, "Get out of the house! Put yourself out there, and you'll might somebody." Put myself out where? "Well, there's a club..." So he follows the advice, and goes to this club, but he doesn't understand what to do when he gets there. He doesn't know how to approach somebody and start a conversation, especially when it seems like everybody else is already involved in a conversation with somebody, and he really doesn't know how to approach a group of people and interject himself into an existing conversation on a topic about which he knows nothing. So he ends up spending the evening standing around on his own, watching other people, observing, futilely trying to figure out how they do it, and why it seems so easy for everybody except him. As he stands there, watching everybody else seeming to have such an easy time and so naturally doing what is so impossible for him, he feels worse and worse about himself. At the end of the night, having spent most or all of it alone, he goes home, still alone, throws himself on the bed (where he will sleep -- you guessed it -- alone), and cries. Other examples of unhelpful advice (not mentioned in the song, but that I know from experience): "Believe in yourself. Confidence is attractive. If you believe, you will succeed." Oh, give me a break. First of all, it's impossible; I can't simply choose to believe something when the weight of all the evidence is against it. Second of all, my lack of confidence comes from years and years of failure, not vice versa. "The reason you've been experiencing so many years of failure is because you don't believe in yourself." You're not listening. I haven't always felt this way. "Just be yourself." No sh!t. Who the f%ck do you think I'm being? I'm always myself. "You're a great guy with a lot to offer. Eventually you'll meet somebody." This, while obviously well-intentioned, can actually be extremely cruel. Think about the effect of this on somebody who keeps hearing it from a lot of different sources. When is eventually? How soon is now? According to everybody, if I'm a great guy with a lot to offer, then eventually I'll meet somebody. Unfortunately, it seems like eventually would be here by now, and I still haven't met somebody, so that must mean... that I'm not a great guy with a lot to offer. "You have to love yourself before somebody else can love you." Yeah, the previous point pretty much KO'ed my self-esteem. Plus, see the earlier discussion of confidence. "It will happen when you least expect it." If you really believed that, you'd let me believe that it won't happen, because that way it would. But you're trying to keep me optimistic precisely because you know that "It will happen when you least expect it" is a croc. "You have to realize that you don't have to have a relationship to be happy. Look at me, I just went through a very difficult break-up, and you don't see me giving up, do you?" That's kind of the point. You've been through a number of relationships, and none of them have turned into permanance, but at least you've been able to get to that point. Me, I haven't even kissed a girl in eight years. Don't give me that "You don't have to have somebody" garbage. Believe it or not, I am human, and I need to be loved, just like anybody else does. Finally, ladies, one request on behalf of all the losers: Don't ever say "All the good ones are taken" within earshot of one who is not taken. Oh, that reminds me of another one: "You're not a loser." You have a strange definition of 'loser.' "You're a great person and..." I didn't say I'm a bad person. I said I'm a loser. Don't pretend not to understand the difference. |
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| Love Spit Love – How Soon Is Now Lyrics | 20 years ago |
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These lyrics are actually pretty straightforward. I don't think it's about being gay. While it certainly could be about somebody who is gay, homosexuality isn't the issue. The issue is "a shyness that is criminally vulgar." This is about someone who desperately "need[s] to be loved," but, try as he might, he lacks the social skills to make a connection with somebody. Perhaps he suffers from Asperger's Syndrome or Social Anxiety Disorder. "You shut your mouth! How can you say that I go about things the wrong way?" is his frustrated response to well-meaning but decidedly unhelpful advice. One example of such advice is, "Get out of the house! Put yourself out there, and you'll might somebody." "Well, there's a club..." So he follows the advice, and goes to this club, but he doesn't understand what to do when he gets there. He doesn't know how to approach somebody and start a conversation, especially when it seems like everybody else is already involved in a conversation with somebody, and he really doesn't know how to approach a group of people and interject himself into an existing conversation on a topic about which he knows nothing. So he ends up spending the evening standing around on his own, watching other people, observing, futilely trying to figure out how they do it, and why it seems so easy for everybody except him. As he stands there, watching everybody else seeming to have such an easy time and so naturally doing what is so impossible for him, he feels worse and worse about himself. At the end of the night, having spent most or all of it alone, he goes home, still alone, throws himself on the bed (where he will sleep -- you guessed it -- alone), and cries. Other examples of unhelpful advice (not mentioned in the song, but that I know from experience): "Believe in yourself. Confidence is attractive. If you believe, you will succeed." "The reason you've been experiencing so many years of failure is because you don't believe in yourself." "Just be yourself." "You're a great guy with a lot to offer. Eventually you'll meet somebody." This, while obviously well-intentioned, can actually be extremely cruel. Think about the effect of this on somebody who keeps hearing it from a lot of different sources. "You have to love yourself before somebody else can love you." "It will happen when you least expect it." "You have to realize that you don't have to have a relationship to be happy. Look at me, I just went through a very difficult break-up, and you don't see me giving up, do you?" Finally, ladies, one request on behalf of all the losers: Don't ever say "All the good ones are taken" within earshot of one who is not taken. Remember, losers have feelings, too. Very intense feelings. Oh, yeah, that reminds me: "You're not a loser." "You're a great person, and..." |
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