I read somewhere that this song deals with the singer's father's reaction to his struggles with mental illness. I can believe that, because a lot of the sentiments (the "I think you could learn something from rats" and the repitition of "oh my god i am sorry") is a lot like my thoughts for my own parents when I was deeply depressed. Amazing, amazing song.
couldn't have said it better myself.. i always feel that way. in regards to my poor mental health and psychiatric over-medication since the age of 14 (though completely necessary in keeping me able to continue to try to be mostly-functional in society), i always feel so bad and guilty about the way that i've turned out, now at 21, (even though i know i can't help it; i never CHOSE to have the almost-incessant inability to feel anything positive about myself, my life, and the world in general--i wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy) and how it must...
couldn't have said it better myself.. i always feel that way. in regards to my poor mental health and psychiatric over-medication since the age of 14 (though completely necessary in keeping me able to continue to try to be mostly-functional in society), i always feel so bad and guilty about the way that i've turned out, now at 21, (even though i know i can't help it; i never CHOSE to have the almost-incessant inability to feel anything positive about myself, my life, and the world in general--i wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy) and how it must make my parents feel (like they did something wrong, failed me somewhere along the line), especially when they don't at all deserve to deal with my bullshit because i couldn't have asked for better parents. sometimes i feel like a fake, like a fraud, because i have no typical excuse for being so mentally unstable and just completely fucked up in the head. i wasn't raped, wasn't abused--nothing bad happened to me growing up. i always wish i could change myself, change the chemistry of my brain, change my family's genetics and predisposition to mental illness--if only for my parents' own peace of mind. i want that more than anything.
even though i know that they don't judge me or my situation or condition, and they mostly understand what's going on with me, i still sometimes wonder if they ever ask themselves where they went wrong... but if i let myself think that way too much, the guilt could suffocate me. i wish i had all the right words; i wish i could adequately explain that it never had anything to do with them or how they raised me, and mostly that they nevre did anything wrong. that it's not them; it's me. my brain just isn't quite right.. and i don't even remember a time that i actually felt like a halfway normal person.
I read somewhere that this song deals with the singer's father's reaction to his struggles with mental illness. I can believe that, because a lot of the sentiments (the "I think you could learn something from rats" and the repitition of "oh my god i am sorry") is a lot like my thoughts for my own parents when I was deeply depressed. Amazing, amazing song.
couldn't have said it better myself.. i always feel that way. in regards to my poor mental health and psychiatric over-medication since the age of 14 (though completely necessary in keeping me able to continue to try to be mostly-functional in society), i always feel so bad and guilty about the way that i've turned out, now at 21, (even though i know i can't help it; i never CHOSE to have the almost-incessant inability to feel anything positive about myself, my life, and the world in general--i wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy) and how it must...
couldn't have said it better myself.. i always feel that way. in regards to my poor mental health and psychiatric over-medication since the age of 14 (though completely necessary in keeping me able to continue to try to be mostly-functional in society), i always feel so bad and guilty about the way that i've turned out, now at 21, (even though i know i can't help it; i never CHOSE to have the almost-incessant inability to feel anything positive about myself, my life, and the world in general--i wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy) and how it must make my parents feel (like they did something wrong, failed me somewhere along the line), especially when they don't at all deserve to deal with my bullshit because i couldn't have asked for better parents. sometimes i feel like a fake, like a fraud, because i have no typical excuse for being so mentally unstable and just completely fucked up in the head. i wasn't raped, wasn't abused--nothing bad happened to me growing up. i always wish i could change myself, change the chemistry of my brain, change my family's genetics and predisposition to mental illness--if only for my parents' own peace of mind. i want that more than anything. even though i know that they don't judge me or my situation or condition, and they mostly understand what's going on with me, i still sometimes wonder if they ever ask themselves where they went wrong... but if i let myself think that way too much, the guilt could suffocate me. i wish i had all the right words; i wish i could adequately explain that it never had anything to do with them or how they raised me, and mostly that they nevre did anything wrong. that it's not them; it's me. my brain just isn't quite right.. and i don't even remember a time that i actually felt like a halfway normal person.