oh the moon was full and the color of blood
the night the pirates came to the vampire club
their leader was tall and snide and slim
he looked like a gay captain morgan
well, he recognized a vampire from his school
and he did something that was most uncool
he said 'hey everybody, see the fool in the cape?
his name is bernie weinstein and he's in the 8th grade!'

fangs were flying, capes were torn
hell hath no fury like a vampire scorned
the number one rule in this game:
never call one by his real name
wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
by pointy boots in a rush
and boris at the bar orders a bud and says,
'it’s just another night at the vampire club.'

missi lost a fang in the ladies room
and we all laughed and called her “snaggletooth!”
and dee was mad cause he broke his cane
and he flushed his contacts down the drain
there was so much angst after the fight
vlad and akasha broke up that night
while some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo
that use to be 'father' you-know-who

well, it’s hard to believe but we’re still around
and when we hang out it’s always upside down
dressed in black from toe to head singing
'bela lugosi’s still undead!'
a gaggle of goths is a peaceful site
we’d do anything to avoid a fight
but if you really want to see some gore and blood
wait ‘til the ravers come to the vampire club

Lyrics submitted by faust

The Vampire Club song meanings
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  • +2
    General Comment"and why would he make fun of "his own kind"? "- DeadMan_Inc

    Because he has a sense of humor. :D A lot of goths do it.
    errky39on February 24, 2005   Link
  • +1
    General CommentYES! BORIS THE DANCING POCKET GOTH! This whole song is Voltaire pimping his incredibly hard to find "Oh my Goth!" comic book. It's a great comic!
    _L_on August 31, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commenta reference to pirates! yay! i've always thought that pirates were much cooler than vampires. :D
    plumlicoriceon October 11, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentFunny song, especially the last part. I love making fun of goths yet not at the same time. It's really very funny.^-^
    freakishfaeon April 23, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI guess i'm not "goth" enough to get it, but who is father you know who?
    PS: his songs are great, but he is hillarious in concert, if you like stand-up commedy, and his music you've got to see one.
    eternityawaitson April 20, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentit's a funny song, sure is. but he's not making fun of goths, it's called ironi or sarcasm or whatever you want to call it. and why would he make fun of "his own kind"?
    DeadMan_Incon December 28, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentFather you know who reffers to Father Sebastian
    Selcaron March 29, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis song is so funny. I love Voltaire. He's funny, sexy, and really really nice. The vampire club reminds me of the stupid uber serious and crazy goth kids in High School.
    CautionarySongon July 07, 2006   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationActually, I'm fairly certain that it was explained before by the artist that this song isn't about actual vampires, but about live action roleplaying... Though it is a HILARIOUS song...
    starvingmeon June 03, 2010   Link

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