Desire Lines

This song always reminded me of lesbian sex, and I think it's more than just b/c I did that particular activity around the same time I got this album. It's the lyrics, and also the middle instrumental sounds like an orgasm.

I had always thought this song must have been inspired by their experiences on the Lollapalooza tour. It has the feel of exhaustion and being in too close quarters with others; "I don't want to be here in this room", partying "we hold parties in our sleep"; exhaustion "we fill ourselves up in our sleep"; and constant movement "while the circus is heading south". But the last verse is a real enigma, I don't know who the "they" are, or what the meaning of covering up their hands/mouths is. Any ideas?

This song is quite challenging to take in. From one angle, the tempo, vocal style, and rhythm guitar seem quite relaxed, as if this would be a good song to help sleep at night. But the lead guitar line is so sad and haunting. Taking it together, it is bleak. Now the relaxed vocals come off as introspective and somewhat dejected. But it is not bleak in a Joy Division sort of way. The lead guitar is more meandering and takes unexpected turns. It is beautiful and melodic. But it still gives me a slight sense of anxiety.

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The arrangement seems to tell a story. It starts out sort of atmospheric and with solo vocals until 1:27. This fits with the atmospheric setting of the lyrics, "It is raining in this room, and it's so hot outside this room. I don't know no one here." She is singing by herself. Then at 1:28, she suddenly changes from "I" to "we". That immediately introduces backing vocals. The backing vocals are ethereal and vague. Initially distinct from the lead vocals, the two vocals blend together, and it's hard to distinguish two voices. As the sound remains pretty sad, and it seems the "we" is imaginary. She says, "we hold parties in our sleep..." She is alone and dreaming of having a friend.

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The line "I will heal you when you're ill, though it's hard keeping still..." seems to refer to her desire to give herself to a friend but not unable to clam her own anxieties. And that line ends "...in our sleep", which is a pretty cool word play. Just as there's tension between desire to make a friend and her own anxieties, that same tension disrupts the only realm she's able to experience friendship - "in our sleep".

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This recalls my initial thought about the song - that it would be nice to play to prepare to sleep. But there's a tension that and anxiety that doesn't lend itself for that.

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That leads into beautiful, long guitar solo starting from about 2:23. It builds up dramatically with a full instrumental arrangement around 3:44. The arrangement gets more complex, and it gets more exciting. What is going on here in her life? Is she making friends? Exploring? Having vivid dreams? There are no lyrical cues to answer that.

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Turning to the video, there's a dreamy video of an empty pool with a few people standing around the walls. Their images are vague, like you only see their silhouettes, and they do not interact with the main character. But she's running around with a smile on her face. The video speeds up so she's moving around faster. Then she's jumping on a trampoline in the pool by herself, people moving around in the background. After that, either she's changed clothes or there is a different character jumping alone on the trampoline. What does this represent? If there's a pool, why isn't there water in it? Why isn't she swimming in it? Maybe it's more of a pit than a pool. When she's running around in circles and jumping on the trampoline, what's going on? Is she just trying to stay healthy in her solitude? Or is she trying to escape and can't get out? Or maybe the two things are more related than we think. Vain efforts are better than no effort. The fact of exerting effort makes one healthier -- even if completely alone.

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Building off the guitar solo, the instrumental section remains pretty powerful, almost orchestral then transitions back into the original tempo around 4:45, with a suspenseful cello replacing the sad guitar. The vocals come back and poof...

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The video changes to a meta scene at 4:55 in clear image, full color, with the videographers and staff in the shot -- maybe representing the transition from her lonely beginning to quasi-independent rocker stardom. Looking back, that vain, lonely effort somehow actually turned into something.

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Maybe that's not it, but either way, she's finally not alone. And we find out around 5:22 there were actually two characters in the pool scenes, just not at the same time. And for the first time, they interact together. They're jumping together.

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The vocals at this point use "we", and this time it seems real. There's nothing about dreaming or sleep. But the scene still isn't ideal. The couple is now alone together. Together, they are alone and misunderstood, "don't ask them to understand, why they cover up their hands, and their mouths".

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The sad guitar line comes back, but the sound is stronger than before, a little less bleak... And that solo carries us out for another minute. Very beautiful.

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I read that Miki wrote this song when she moved to London from Bristol. The feelings of loneliness moving to a large metropolis very much fit everything about this song - the arrangement, lyrics, and video.

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The title "Desire Lines" seems ironic. Desire lines are paths carved out by a heavy flow of foot traffic as people seek a more direct route... A path of grass worn out by foot traffic. This idea of traffic evokes people, on one hand, which sounds social, but movement on the other hand. People are just passing by. So it could be related to a sense of feeling alone in a crowd. In the video, she runs in circles in the pool, maybe driven by desire to make friends in her new city. And so those are the lines of her own frenzied footprints.