9 Meanings
Add Yours
Follow
Share
Q&A
5000 Ways To Die Lyrics
There must be 5000 ways to die
And each one ends the same way if you try
Your friends all stand around
While they dump you in the ground
And the people who loved you will ask why oh why oh why oh why
And the bastard you hated the most
Will stand up and give you a toast
He'll say "We were such good friends especially near the end"
Then he'll feel up your girlfriend in front of your ghost
So get in your car and drive real fast
Up in the attic with a shotgun blast
Take a bath with a clock radio
Vodka and valium overdose
Have you ever tried?
There must be 5000 ways to die
And if you're very lucky
You'll get your picture in the paper on page three
25 words will summarize how you spent your whole damn life
One day on that page
Next day into the hamster cage
So get in your car and drive real fast
Up in the attic with a shotgun blast
Take a bath with a clock radio
Vodka and valium overdose
All the glamour can be yours with a loaded .44
Have you ever tried?
There must be 5000 ways to die
And each one ends the same way if you try
Your friends all stand around
While they dump you in the ground
And the people who loved you will ask why oh why oh why oh why
Will stand up and give you a toast
He'll say "We were such good friends especially near the end"
Then he'll feel up your girlfriend in front of your ghost
Up in the attic with a shotgun blast
Take a bath with a clock radio
Vodka and valium overdose
Have you ever tried?
There must be 5000 ways to die
You'll get your picture in the paper on page three
25 words will summarize how you spent your whole damn life
One day on that page
Next day into the hamster cage
Up in the attic with a shotgun blast
Take a bath with a clock radio
Vodka and valium overdose
All the glamour can be yours with a loaded .44
Have you ever tried?
There must be 5000 ways to die
Add your song meanings, interpretations, facts, memories & more to the community.
this song kicks ass,it makes me wanna get a shot gun and blow my head off
this song kicks ass,it makes me wanna get a shot gun and blow my head off
i wont stop you, and i'll feel up ur g'friend in front of your ghost:D
it's an anti-suicide song. Who would want their girlfriend felt up by some jerk or a picture of themself crapped on by a hampster? I love the song though because i find death humor really funny
i agree with AntiSound its against suicide and it is a very funny song, and catchy 2
I think it's not only anti-suicide, it's also some kind of sociocritical, because "the bastard you hated the most is giving the toast and talking of friendship" and "the page in the paper about how you spent your wohle damn life", that are both signs for what people are if you would die. They wouldn't be authentic or honest.
I don't find it all that anti suicide, i think it makes fun of death in general though. Everyone gets the 25 words and the assholes who didnt really know you talking about you like you were a good friend at the funeral or having the obit became the bottom of a hamster cage.
This is like a parody of Paul Simon's 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.
I think this song is brilliant. It's funny, but it's actually kinda true and has a meaning as an anti suicide song. Particularly the bit about '25 words will summerise how you spent your whole damn life' - when people top themselves people think and talk about how the died rather than what they did when they were living.