Colin Zeal knows the value of mass appeal
He's a pedestrian walker, he's a civil talker
He's an affable man with a plausible plan
Keeps his eye on the news, keeps his future in hand

(And then he)
Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
He's so pleased with himself, ah ha

While sitting in traffic, Colin thinks in automatic
He's an immaculate dresser, he's your common aggressor
Colin's the modern retard with a love of bombast
Keeps his eye on the news, doesn't dwells on the past

(And then he)
Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
He's so pleased with himself, ah ha
He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
He's so pleased with himself, ah ha

(And then he)
Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
He's so pleased with himself, ah ha
He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
He's so pleased with himself, ah ha

(He's a modern retard, he's terminal lard
He's an affable man, with a carrotene tan
Because Colin Zeal's ill
Colin Zeal's ill
Colin Zeal's ill)

'Cause Colin Zeal knows


Lyrics submitted by Demau Senae

Colin Zeal Lyrics as written by David Rowntree Steven Alexander James

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

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Colin Zeal song meanings
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4 Comments

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  • +3
    General Comment

    In the final choruses, you can hear shouting, which someone deciphered: "He's a modern retard, he's terminal lard He's an affable man, with a carotene tan Because Colin Zeal's ill Colin Zeal's ill Colin Zeal's ill"

    The song looks like a sketch of a smug bastard who acts like a know-it-all, a God's-gift-to-the-world, a Charmless Man, as it were. Lines like "he's an affable man with a plausible plan/keeps his eye on the news, keeps his future in hand" remind me of the people we all know who "keep their eye on the news" and run their mouth off on how they've got the solution to all the world's problems ("a plausible plan").

    bugoffon July 19, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    I thought this was about an obsessive compulsive. It is kind of a predecessor to charmless man! A guy who tries too hard to keep up to date on the news so he doesnt show himself up, yet in doing so, acts like a know-it-all.

    "he's on time yet again" and "so pleased with himself" suggests he gets simple happiness out of punctuality - as long as hes got this, it doesnt matter if his friends find him a bore.

    im_the_man37on April 07, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    this ones good too. gotta love modern life is rubbish

    big_bad_Soco_fanon April 02, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    the best song about an asshole ive ever heard lol

    slevletteon January 23, 2007   Link

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