So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
who's gonna give a shit
who's gonna take the call
when you find out that the road ahead
is painted on a wall
and you're turned up to top volume
and you're just sitting there in pause
with your feral little secret
scratching at you with its claws
and you're trying hard to figure out
just exactly how you feel
before you end up parked and sobbing
forehead on the steering wheel
who are you now
and who were you then
that you thought somehow
you could just pretend
that you could figure it all out
the mathematics of regret
so it takes two beers to remember now
and five to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
how many times undone
can one person be
as they're careening through the facade
of their favorite fantasy
you just close your eyes slowly
like you're waiting for a kiss
and hope some lowly little power
will pull you out of this
but none comes at first
and little comes at all
and when inspiration finally hits you
it barely even breaks your fall
who were you then
and who are you
now that you can't pretend
that you can figure it all out
subtract out the impact
and the fall is all you get
so it takes two beers to remember now
and three more to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
i loved you
so what
who's gonna take the call
when you find out that the road ahead
is painted on a wall
and you're turned up to top volume
and you're just sitting there in pause
with your feral little secret
scratching at you with its claws
and you're trying hard to figure out
just exactly how you feel
before you end up parked and sobbing
forehead on the steering wheel
who are you now
and who were you then
that you thought somehow
you could just pretend
that you could figure it all out
the mathematics of regret
so it takes two beers to remember now
and five to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
how many times undone
can one person be
as they're careening through the facade
of their favorite fantasy
you just close your eyes slowly
like you're waiting for a kiss
and hope some lowly little power
will pull you out of this
but none comes at first
and little comes at all
and when inspiration finally hits you
it barely even breaks your fall
who were you then
and who are you
now that you can't pretend
that you can figure it all out
subtract out the impact
and the fall is all you get
so it takes two beers to remember now
and three more to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
i loved you
so what
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First off for those who only have one version ... Go to Ani's Website. Her second release of her Bootleg series has an amazing version of this song. She plays the guitar and sings it so beautiful, in perfect cordination, that it will leave you amazed.
I have the studio version but never really "heard" the song. I have issues were I just can't get into studio music so it often takes live music to get a real feel for a song. Anyway, when i heard the version on her bootleg series i instantly fell in love with it. her site: righteousbabe.com
Now for my analysis. This song reminds me a lot of "Both Hands" were she is watching a relationship come crashing to an end. However this one has a far more bitter outlook in that she almost could care less.
Ani is an expert in metaphors, few if any can match her, and this song is loaded with them. You have the image of Wiley E Coyote in "the roead ahead is painted on the wall". The useless in "Turned up to top volume while you're sitting there in pause", gives me a feel of how she is looking at her relationship, sort of like ..."i've given it my all and now nothing is what i now have.
What I love most is the differences in the chorus. Her manipulation of the two stanzas and how she turns them inside out in front of the reader is outstanding. "Subtract out the impact and the fall is all you get" is an outstanding play on words and actions but it also reflects the "mathmatics" part in the first chorus. Then you get to the beer part, first it is "two beers to remember and five to forget", but she messes with math in the second stanza to get, "two beers to remember and three more to forget" both of which add up to the fifth beer that leads to the forgetfullness.
This song is pure Ani, both from his harsh beauty, and the delicate way she handles the guitar and vocals to the song. I almost get the feel like she is going to drop an F-You bomb in striking comparison to "Untouchable Face".
Make no mistake about it .... Ani is the queen of the written word.