So What? Lyrics
i typically don't comment but feel compelled here since no one seems to have captured the essence of this song.
it it about a woman who was in a relationship and loved very deeply an extremely self-destructive person.
the relationship has ended due to the self-destructive person doing what they do best: sabotaging their own happiness and pushing away the person who loves them most.
and the woman is left to watch off to the side as this person pretends to be someone they're not, trying to mask the pain (usually with alcohol), going out and partying, trying to live this fantasy life, trying to forget the pain they feel inside and how once again they ruined the best thing that ever happened to them .. and they did it on purpose. it was an even better self-hating act than cutting their arm.
but of course all of it only makes their internal pain worse, and they continue to careen towards rock bottom. all the while remembering that this woman loved them so.
and all she can say is, now being pushed out of this person's life and forced to witness the destruction, probably having been pushed by them to her breaking limit to where she didn't even WANT to be a part of their life anymore because it ultimately hurt so bad, ultimately this person always comes back to validate that she is still there, but they both know things will never be the same .. and all she can say to them is, yeah, i loved you, so what?
The only version I have of this song is a live version. It sounds like Ani is in a rather small auditorium, and you can clearly hear when individuals or small groups on one side or another of the stage are yelling. It is beautiful, and perfect for the song: the intimate setting mirrors the intimacy felt in the song, the emotion, frustration, humiliation, and confusion that are all a part of real relationships. For when you get to know someone else, you find out about yourself, and all of these emotions are unavoidable. I love the part about the fantasy. Its like your in this relationship, and you can't handle it. So for a while you live in this fantasy world, dreaming of how things should be or how you would like them to be: how you would like to be. And then you wish someone will save you from your own fantasy. Someone will see you, and like you... YOU. Can you imagine?
The only version I have of this song is a live version. It sounds like Ani is in a rather small auditorium, and you can clearly hear when individuals or small groups on one side or another of the stage are yelling. It is beautiful, and perfect for the song: the intimate setting mirrors the intimacy felt in the song, the emotion, frustration, humiliation, and confusion that are all a part of real relationships. For when you get to know someone else, you find out about yourself, and all of these emotions are unavoidable. I love the part about the fantasy. Its like your in this relationship, and you can't handle it. So for a while you live in this fantasy world, dreaming of how things should be or how you would like them to be: how you would like to be. And then you wish someone will save you from your own fantasy. Someone will see you, and like you... YOU. Can you imagine?
i love this song! i wish i could find some other version of it though. i dig the live version, but i want something without the background talking. if anyone can tell me another version, you would be my hero!
sometimes i forget that i have this song on a mixed cd and it comes on without warning while i'm driving in my car, and i'm just...i just can't help but cry...it just moves me, it's memories, it's feelings, it carries so much...it hits you in the pit of your stomach and you (well...I) have to pull over and collect yourself before you can continue driving...
I have the studio version... it's quite an amazing song, so powerful. I read the lyrics before I heard the song and I just started crying, I can relate to it so well. IM me if you'd like it.
First off for those who only have one version ... Go to Ani's Website. Her second release of her Bootleg series has an amazing version of this song. She plays the guitar and sings it so beautiful, in perfect cordination, that it will leave you amazed.
I have the studio version but never really "heard" the song. I have issues were I just can't get into studio music so it often takes live music to get a real feel for a song. Anyway, when i heard the version on her bootleg series i instantly fell in love with it. her site: www.righteousbabe.com
Now for my analysis. This song reminds me a lot of "Both Hands" were she is watching a relationship come crashing to an end. However this one has a far more bitter outlook in that she almost could care less.
Ani is an expert in metaphors, few if any can match her, and this song is loaded with them. You have the image of Wiley E Coyote in "the roead ahead is painted on the wall". The useless in "Turned up to top volume while you're sitting there in pause", gives me a feel of how she is looking at her relationship, sort of like ..."i've given it my all and now nothing is what i now have.
What I love most is the differences in the chorus. Her manipulation of the two stanzas and how she turns them inside out in front of the reader is outstanding. "Subtract out the impact and the fall is all you get" is an outstanding play on words and actions but it also reflects the "mathmatics" part in the first chorus. Then you get to the beer part, first it is "two beers to remember and five to forget", but she messes with math in the second stanza to get, "two beers to remember and three more to forget" both of which add up to the fifth beer that leads to the forgetfullness.
This song is pure Ani, both from his harsh beauty, and the delicate way she handles the guitar and vocals to the song. I almost get the feel like she is going to drop an F-You bomb in striking comparison to "Untouchable Face".
Make no mistake about it .... Ani is the queen of the written word.
dead end relationship. you no longer can do it. you don't even know why you tried for so long. truth hurts. "i loved you so what" is not about not caring. you really wanted this relationship to work. but it just never was going to and you now realize this. and if fucking sucks. it wrecks you for a while. and you're looking back like what the fuck. who the hell were you and why'd you fall for it. and why is it hurting so much now, now that it's over. get over it. it's a hard thing to do.
i mean... i might be taking this too personally though. as we do.
favorite ani song after providence
to me, it's about being involved with someone, and the entire time, up until the end, you say you never felt the same as the other person, and you maintained that you didn't really care when it ended. the narrator is troubled by the ghost of that failed relationship, and is coming to the realization that she was just lying to herself the entire time -- she actually had loved the person all along(maybe even still does), and now she's trying to forget it all...and failing, because the truth won't leave her alone.
the sound of quiet defeat and bitterness in her voice in the live version i have is astounding, and really makes the impact of this song much more powerful. it's spot-on to me how this song captures the voice, mood, and thoughts of someone finally admitting to themselves how they feel, and being angry and yet helpless for feeling it.<p><b><i>Edited by delial on May 28 2008, at 06:33AM</i></b></p>