So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
life used to be life-like
now it's more like show biz
i wake up in the night and i
don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness
and i don't have the will anymore to wonder
and everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in and
you're mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time
when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
you know, i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame , you know
you always disappoint me
it's kinda like our running joke
but it's really not funny
i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dilate
so i'll walk the plank
yeah, i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
'cause you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
and i forget every time
and the forgetting defines me
that's what defines me
when i say you SUCKED my brain out
the ENGLISH translation
is i am in LOVE with you
and it is NO fun
but i DON'T use words like love
'cause words like that DON'T MATTER
but don't look so OFFENDED
you know, you should be FLATTERED
i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
my hands grope for the light
my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster, you know
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better
i'm better, i'm better off alone
now it's more like show biz
i wake up in the night and i
don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness
and i don't have the will anymore to wonder
and everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in and
you're mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time
when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
you know, i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame , you know
you always disappoint me
it's kinda like our running joke
but it's really not funny
i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dilate
so i'll walk the plank
yeah, i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
'cause you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
and i forget every time
and the forgetting defines me
that's what defines me
when i say you SUCKED my brain out
the ENGLISH translation
is i am in LOVE with you
and it is NO fun
but i DON'T use words like love
'cause words like that DON'T MATTER
but don't look so OFFENDED
you know, you should be FLATTERED
i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
my hands grope for the light
my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster, you know
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better
i'm better, i'm better off alone
Lyrics submitted by aur0ra
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This song always sounded like an eyeroll and a smile to me; The general apathy and resentment for someone you really shouldn't love in the first place, but somehow do, more than anything.
I also think there's a lot of objectivity in the lyrics themselves. It lays everything out on the table plain and simple, for what it actually is. (Every song has a you/A you that the singer sings to/And you're it this time, baby you're it this time.)
For me, at least, it's loving someone that really doesn't deserve it. They just repeatedly disappoint you; Not because of what they do, but because of what they don't do. You build them up to be this grandiose thing that they really aren't, and then feel let down when they fail to live up to that image of them you've created. You slowly give pieces of yourself up for them, expecting them to one day become what you think them to be, until you're "left with nothing," and forced to work with less. (Same idea in 'Done Wrong': "It just all slips away so slowly/You don't even notice 'til you've lost a lot/Been like one of those zombies in Vegas/Pouring quarters into a slot.")
And whenever you see that person you love so much, your heart skips a beat. Suddenly you have so much to say and completely come to life. You see them, and you dilate.
But the constant tug-of-war between the two involved easily leads to the belief that you're "better off alone."
I picked this album out of the bargain bin at a record fair when I first began what was to be a tumultuous, first-love, three year relationship; This album narrated the it in entirety from start to finish. It means a LOT to me personally, as well as thousands of other people.