So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I am my own parasite
I don't need a host to live
We feed off of each other
We can share our endorphns
Doll steak
Test meat
Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight, I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and or sleeping
I won my own pet virus
I get to pet and name her
Her milk is my shit
My shit is her milk
Test meat
Doll steak
Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight, I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and or sleeping
Doll steak
Test meat
Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight, I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and or sleeping
Protector of the kennel
Ecto-plasma, ecto-skeletal
Obituary birthday
Your scent is still here in my place of recovery
I don't need a host to live
We feed off of each other
We can share our endorphns
Doll steak
Test meat
Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight, I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and or sleeping
I won my own pet virus
I get to pet and name her
Her milk is my shit
My shit is her milk
Test meat
Doll steak
Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight, I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and or sleeping
Doll steak
Test meat
Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight, I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and or sleeping
Protector of the kennel
Ecto-plasma, ecto-skeletal
Obituary birthday
Your scent is still here in my place of recovery
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This song is about suicide as a solution to the problem that one does not feel accepted (which is VERY common for people suffering from a depression):
I am my own parasite (He is self-sufficient in some way, in what way? one can ask...) I don't need a host to live (However parasites do need a host to live, that is the definition of the word... hence he doesnt need to live. He is self-sufficient to take his own life) We feed off of each other (I think this is a general criticism of the human nature and/or culture, in which cobain felt outside of or denied access to. Humans are each others parasites, they feed on each other) We can share our endorphins (describes the fundamental human drive, sex, but does it in a technically and cold way. Theres no love, just egoistic "parasite-love")
The first verse gives a reason to commit suicide, and indicates that he is allowed to do so, as he is himself.
Doll steak! Test meat! (Notice that the word are put together wrongly: "Test doll" and "meat steak" would make more sence. If that assumption is correct, it would seme that someone is testing meat, and eating plastic, instead of the doing the opposite (right) way. "Someone" I think is "the others", those who live an "evil" life, the establishment (dont read it as something childish skate/punk rebelion, but rather as the word "culture") Meat is often used as something human, while plastic is something fake or artificial. Instead of living as humans, the "normal people" are living as "plastic-digesters" aka. fakes, and they are destroying living meat in "crash testes". I do not believe the crash-test-thing should be taken too seriously.)
Look on the bright side is suicide (As a solution to all this, one can escape it, but only through suicide) Lost eyesight I'm on your side (This is a hard one, but I believe that it is either is Cobain saying: "im on your side, but you cant see it" or: that someone is saying to Cobain: "im on your side" and Cobain replies "But you have lost your eyesight" = you cant see it from my angle/point-of-view.) Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing (An angel with broken wings = no hope, in my opnion) Lack of iron and/or sleeping (...is medical reasons for depression)
I own my own pet virus I get to pet and name her Her milk is my shit My shit is her milk (there's some self-recognition here (as far as I see): He owns his own desructor, the virus, in which he can put his guilt and blame, it feeds on his shit, and he is the one who names it. Even though he have criticized and placed the guilt outside himself, he do know that the shit comes from himself)
im very uncertain about the outro part
Protector of the kennel (to protect something that doesnt need protection, or something about keeping the hounds locked in?) Ecto-plasma, Ecto-skeletal (ecto-plasma is that thing ghosts are made of, ecto-skeletal is somewhat more concrete... maybe its something about he doesnt care whether he becomes a ghost or just dies... after-life contra nothingness) Obituary birthday (it could be some religious reincarnation thing, however I do recall that Cobain wasnt religious according to himself. I believe its something about that the death can be good or a happy thing) Your scent is still here in my place of recovery! (nowhere he is free from what pains him, even not in his place of recovery)