So Far Under

As he ages, Jerry seems to be stuck within 4 main areas of focus for his incredible lyrical expertise and wordsmithing: .

1. Deep sorrow, sadness and utter brokenness over Layne's death, what Layne made the band suffer through, how Layne continues to haunt him, and mostly, what if? What could have been, if Layne had chosen to live. Layne has since become his "black muse."
2. Deep regret and guilt over past injustices Jerry himself did to himself (drugs, alcohol, smoking), but mostly, things he said to Layne that he can't ever take back.
3. Deep regret over the loss of Courtney from his life, how he still pines mightily for her, and because of that (plus his lifestyle), can't seem to find true happiness with anyone else.
4. Sadness and longing not only for his younger self & life, but that the life he's had was stunted by circumstance, so he's now just hollowly going through the motions. As well, the many deaths of friends along the way from drugs, alcohol, or just age, continue to tear at his soul, showing him just how alone in the world he really is. He has everything "dialed up to 11" but he's still not happy, fulfilled, or satisfied. . Jerry has a HUGE hole in his soul, he is the walking wounded. But this black feeling, this hurt and woundedness has been such a part of him for so long that he can't crawl up and out, and he may not even want to. It's the darkness "in which he damn well likes to play." He doesn't know any other way to be, and it's tearing him up inside. #prayforjerry