This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
[Verse 1]
As simple as I am, I got a puzzle for a heart
Laid it on the table in the living room
And rummaged through the parts
The child in me is running through the yard
While the man that I'm supposed to be is searching for a breath in the cigar smoke chokin'
Drying out my eyes like the desert wind
Drunk, taking shots at the moon with an empty pen
I got a feeling that once it gets to the end
I'll be buried neck deep in this shit with no friends, go figure
Life's been a freak show
Learn to hold a knife at a young age and bleed slow
Following the keystrokes
Leading to my words
Is a trail most traveled by a part of me
You would label disturbed
But it works
Living with the plague
Marching to the beat of my bones getting thrown into the lake
They sink heavy like a thought made of lead
And fall slowly to the depths
If I could find a better way to make you see what I've been thinking
I would probably just paint a fucking picture
They say it's worth a thousand words
[Hook]
Hold on
There's something in the basement
Chained to the furnace
Underneath the stairs
So close I can taste it
Climbing up the drain pipe
Trying to get a breath of air
Oh god
The only way to face it
Is gonna leave the whole world
Thinking that I'm crazy
So close, I can taste it
Trying to find a way to take away my breath of air
[Verse 2]
I carve it all into the clay
Walking monument of my mistakes
Living off the rainchecks
Written in the fray
The artist in me wants to play
While the person I'm supposed to be is trying to figure out if I'm okay
The scapegoat with a flamethrower
Burning up the tall grass
Growing like a tumor on his gravestone
I got a feeling if the same old motherfucking shit keeps happening
I'll be dead before this game's over
Great, I'm in dark water and diving
Trying to find peace in the deep I reside in
It keeps finding a better way to remind me
That anywhere I go, it'll be right there behind me
Fine with it, pressed to the page
Leaking like a wide open cut from a thrust of the blade
It falls heavy like a bus from a broken bridge
And keeps me watching from the ridge
If I could find a better way to make the jaws of it release me
I would probably just bite my fucking arm off
They say it happens in the wild
[Hook]
[Bridge]
I start shaking when it awakens inside of me
They tried to tell me it was a panic, but they lied to me
Got me thinking I was fragile and incompetent
And tried to build a road around that avalanche on top of me
Failed, laying on a bed of rusty nails
Trying to distribute the weight enough to balance out the scales
I lost heaven the second my ship sailed
But survived long enough to tell the tale
[Hook]
As simple as I am, I got a puzzle for a heart
Laid it on the table in the living room
And rummaged through the parts
The child in me is running through the yard
While the man that I'm supposed to be is searching for a breath in the cigar smoke chokin'
Drying out my eyes like the desert wind
Drunk, taking shots at the moon with an empty pen
I got a feeling that once it gets to the end
I'll be buried neck deep in this shit with no friends, go figure
Life's been a freak show
Learn to hold a knife at a young age and bleed slow
Following the keystrokes
Leading to my words
Is a trail most traveled by a part of me
You would label disturbed
But it works
Living with the plague
Marching to the beat of my bones getting thrown into the lake
They sink heavy like a thought made of lead
And fall slowly to the depths
If I could find a better way to make you see what I've been thinking
I would probably just paint a fucking picture
They say it's worth a thousand words
[Hook]
Hold on
There's something in the basement
Chained to the furnace
Underneath the stairs
So close I can taste it
Climbing up the drain pipe
Trying to get a breath of air
Oh god
The only way to face it
Is gonna leave the whole world
Thinking that I'm crazy
So close, I can taste it
Trying to find a way to take away my breath of air
[Verse 2]
I carve it all into the clay
Walking monument of my mistakes
Living off the rainchecks
Written in the fray
The artist in me wants to play
While the person I'm supposed to be is trying to figure out if I'm okay
The scapegoat with a flamethrower
Burning up the tall grass
Growing like a tumor on his gravestone
I got a feeling if the same old motherfucking shit keeps happening
I'll be dead before this game's over
Great, I'm in dark water and diving
Trying to find peace in the deep I reside in
It keeps finding a better way to remind me
That anywhere I go, it'll be right there behind me
Fine with it, pressed to the page
Leaking like a wide open cut from a thrust of the blade
It falls heavy like a bus from a broken bridge
And keeps me watching from the ridge
If I could find a better way to make the jaws of it release me
I would probably just bite my fucking arm off
They say it happens in the wild
[Hook]
[Bridge]
I start shaking when it awakens inside of me
They tried to tell me it was a panic, but they lied to me
Got me thinking I was fragile and incompetent
And tried to build a road around that avalanche on top of me
Failed, laying on a bed of rusty nails
Trying to distribute the weight enough to balance out the scales
I lost heaven the second my ship sailed
But survived long enough to tell the tale
[Hook]
Lyrics submitted by charcoalsketch
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