This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Clear the apartment.
I plan on collapsing and I could have sworn I heard a car door slam.
I'm stuck at the corner of grinding teeth and stomach acid,
All alone under a soft rain and streetlamp.
I spent my life weighed down by a stone heart,
Drowning in irony and settling for anything.
Somewhere down the line all the wiring went faulty.
I'm scared shitless of failure and I'm staring out at where I wanna be.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
I just want to be enough for everyone.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
Know that I fought until the lights were gone.
I'm walking through harbors and churchyards.
I felt the snow crack under my feet.
I'll stay thankful for mild winters, for every shot I got at anything.
I'll blame the way that I was brought up or the flaws that I was born with
Or the mistakes that I've made; they're all just fucking excuses.
So bury me in the memories of my friends and family.
I just need to know that they were proud of me.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
I just want to be enough for everyone.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
Know that I fought until the lights were gone.
Oh, we all wanna know.
Where'd the American dream go?
Did you give up and go home?
Am I here alone?
Oh, when the credits roll,
I'll watch as the screen glows
The moments when I choked, all the fears that I've outgrown.
At least I hope so.
I was just happy to be a contender.
I was just aching for anything.
And I used to have such steady hands
But now I can't keep 'em from shaking.
Oh I'm sorry I,
I'm sorry I don't laugh at the right times.
Is this what it feels like with my wings clipped?
I'm awkward and nervous.
I'm awkward and nervous.
I'm awkward and nervous.
I'm awkward and nervous.
But I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
I need you to stay.
Oh, god, could you stay?
I need you to stay.
I need you to stay.
I need you.
If I'm in an airport and you're in a hospital bed,
Well then, what kind of man does that make me?
If I'm in an airport and you're in a hospital bed,
Well then, what kind of man does that make me?
If I'm in an airport, if I'm in an airport
What kind of man does that make me?
What kind of man does that make me?
What kind of man does that make me?
I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me.
All we had were hand me-downs.(I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me)
All we had were hand me-downs.(I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me)
All we had were hand me-downs.(I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me)
Two blackbirds on a highway sign
Are laughing at me here with my wings clipped.
I'm staring up at the sky
But the bombs keep fucking falling.
There's no devil on my shoulder
He's got a rocking chair on my front porch
But I won't let him in.
No, I won't let him in.
'Cause I'm sick of seeing ghosts
And I know how it's all gonna end.
There's no triumph waiting.
There's no sunset to ride off in.
We all want to be great men
And there's nothing romantic about it.
I just want to know that I did all I could with what I was given.
I plan on collapsing and I could have sworn I heard a car door slam.
I'm stuck at the corner of grinding teeth and stomach acid,
All alone under a soft rain and streetlamp.
I spent my life weighed down by a stone heart,
Drowning in irony and settling for anything.
Somewhere down the line all the wiring went faulty.
I'm scared shitless of failure and I'm staring out at where I wanna be.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
I just want to be enough for everyone.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
Know that I fought until the lights were gone.
I'm walking through harbors and churchyards.
I felt the snow crack under my feet.
I'll stay thankful for mild winters, for every shot I got at anything.
I'll blame the way that I was brought up or the flaws that I was born with
Or the mistakes that I've made; they're all just fucking excuses.
So bury me in the memories of my friends and family.
I just need to know that they were proud of me.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
I just want to be enough for everyone.
I just want to sell out my funeral.
Know that I fought until the lights were gone.
Oh, we all wanna know.
Where'd the American dream go?
Did you give up and go home?
Am I here alone?
Oh, when the credits roll,
I'll watch as the screen glows
The moments when I choked, all the fears that I've outgrown.
At least I hope so.
I was just happy to be a contender.
I was just aching for anything.
And I used to have such steady hands
But now I can't keep 'em from shaking.
Oh I'm sorry I,
I'm sorry I don't laugh at the right times.
Is this what it feels like with my wings clipped?
I'm awkward and nervous.
I'm awkward and nervous.
I'm awkward and nervous.
I'm awkward and nervous.
But I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
I need you to stay.
Oh, god, could you stay?
I need you to stay.
I need you to stay.
I need you.
If I'm in an airport and you're in a hospital bed,
Well then, what kind of man does that make me?
If I'm in an airport and you're in a hospital bed,
Well then, what kind of man does that make me?
If I'm in an airport, if I'm in an airport
What kind of man does that make me?
What kind of man does that make me?
What kind of man does that make me?
I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me.
All we had were hand me-downs.(I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me)
All we had were hand me-downs.(I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me)
All we had were hand me-downs.(I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me)
Two blackbirds on a highway sign
Are laughing at me here with my wings clipped.
I'm staring up at the sky
But the bombs keep fucking falling.
There's no devil on my shoulder
He's got a rocking chair on my front porch
But I won't let him in.
No, I won't let him in.
'Cause I'm sick of seeing ghosts
And I know how it's all gonna end.
There's no triumph waiting.
There's no sunset to ride off in.
We all want to be great men
And there's nothing romantic about it.
I just want to know that I did all I could with what I was given.
Lyrics submitted by Surgical_Tools
I Just Want to Sell Out My Funeral Lyrics as written by Joshua Martin Daniel Campbell
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
More Featured Meanings
The Night We Met
Lord Huron
Lord Huron
Holiday
Bee Gees
Bee Gees
@[Diderik:33655] "Your a holiday!" Was a popular term used in the 50s/60s to compliment someone on their all around. For example, not only are they beautiful, but they are fun and kind too ... just an all around "holiday".
I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
Gentle Hour
Yo La Tengo
Yo La Tengo
This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version.
Great version of a great song,
Head > Heels
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
“Head > Heels” is a track that aims to capture what it feels like to experience romance that exceeds expectations. Ed Sheeran dedicates his album outro to a lover who has blessed him with a unique experience that he seeks to describe through the song’s nuanced lyrics.
Amazing
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran tells a story of unsuccessfully trying to feel “Amazing.” This track is about the being weighed down by emotional stress despite valiant attempts to find some positivity in the situation. This track was written by Ed Sheeran from the perspective of his friend. From the track, we see this person fall deeper into the negative thoughts and slide further down the path of mental torment with every lyric.
This song ties the whole record together, I dont exactly know how but it does. Makes me think its a concept record. But this song is amazing I love it the last line sums up the whole album for me
@Cuthroatclark it is a concept record
Too long? Suck it.
Not long enough.
"I just want to know that I did all I could with what I was given."
May just be the best closing line to an album I've ever heard.
I've been piecing together the lyrics from the rest of the tracks. Here's some I picked out
I was just happy to be a contender; I was just aching for anything. And I used to have such steady hands but now I can't keep them from shaking.
I'm sorry I don't laugh at the right times; Is this what it feels like with my wings clipped?
But I was kind of hoping you'd stay. I was kind of hoping you'd stay; I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
If I'm in an airport and you're in a hospital bed, then, what kind of man does that make me?
I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me.
When all we had were hand me-downs
I'm staring up at the sky but the bombs keep fucking falling.
I'll stay thankful for mind winters, for every shot I got at anything<br />
The song is about looking over your life and hoping you were a good person. The line about the screen showing the moments in this person's life seems to me like he's saying his life is flashing before his eyes right before death. It then goes on to "show" these moments by repeating lyrics from previous songs on the albums. All these lyrics are important decisions that the writer made or are important qualities that the writer has. Basically the last line says it all. "I just need to know that I did all I could with what I was given"
Okay well this is just what came into my mind after listening to this band for about a year now and I think this song (one of their greatest) deals with stretching yourself out, trying to please everyone which is one thing that can lead to depression and anxiety which their albums tend to deal with apart from No Closer. Take the title of the song and the line "I'm scared shitless of failure," for example, I think he is trying to say that well he just wants "to be enough for everyone" and that it's killing him inside, maybe that's why it's his funeral idfk
2009 - 12 - 05: Soupy tweets "I only met my great grandfather once, but yesterday, he sold out his funeral. Must have been a great man. Reading his memoirs #theupsides"
4 years later this album comes out with the song I Just Want To Sell Out My Funeral and the lyrics "I searched through my great-grandpop's memoirs For the devil in my bloodstream" (The Devil In My Bloodstream).
To be fair, they've been doing concept albums since The Upsides.
But yeah, they use all the lyrics from the other songs on the album to get across a central theme, and while I think it's done pretty well, it might be a little too long.
Still mad cool.