Sea Lion (Saul Williams' Verse)

Oh God I think I'm dead
I can't see outside my head
Brains and bloods and cryptic gang men
Tzars and warlords breaking bread
Thoughts are thought
What's said is said
I thought that before you said it
I didn't mean to think out loud
My tongue slipped
but who let it?
Let it be
let me be
let me go
nah, let me out
My manhood nods and whispers when my father screams and shouts
Dear dad I'm sad you're dead
A new man standing in the pulpit
He bows before a wooden cross and forces praise the culprit
I'm a tenor
in the choir
but I sing a different song
Of how the wheres and whys of now all prove I don't belong
But I'm staying
I've planted seeds and plan to watch them grow
I've watered all my wishes
dreams fulfilled more seeds to sow
And I promise to learn to love the way I've learned to fear
To unknot all the inhibitions tangled in my hair
To let my ego mound in piles around the barber chair
And make a graceful exit from my vexed troubled years
I've decided I've been invited to my own resort
Where knights can leave their armor neatly piled by the door
And every woman, child, and man will gather by the shore
and study how sea lions swim in cursive