Pickin' Boogers

Now this may sound disgusting and like very gross
But it's sure to have your trippin'
So yo listen close
It's not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar
But it's rather on the bug tip and it's called "Pickin' Boogers"
Now what I'm emceein' might not seem kosher to you
But it's still somethin' we all have to do
So go up your nose with a finger or two
And pull out one or a crusty crew
Yo, don't try to front like it's so gloomy and gray
'Cause we all pick our boogers sometime every day
Whether out in the open or on the sneak tip
With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip
Take it from the Biz Markie because I'm jokin'
And also, remember this slogan
"Hey, ma, what's for dinner?
Go up your nose and pick a winner"

Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers

Let me tell you what happened to me on the train, man

I was coolin' one day with my partner Kane
Headed up to the Rooftop, ridin' the D train
When this man sittin' next to me was so profane
He'd stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain
(You should 'a moved)
I was just about, but all of a sudden, homeboy just pulled out
A big green slimy, nah, I'm not never gonna say it
But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it
He sat there for a while with it in his hand
So I tried to play cool and like ignore the man
So I laid my head back to catch a quick a nap
All of a sudden he plucked it dead in my lap
Now Kane sat there laughing like it was all a joke
But a brother like Biz Markie had almost choked
So I dug up my nose and pulled out about five
And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye
Then the man jumped up and said "what's wrong with you"
And wiped them off his face and said "I can't mess with you"
Like if I did something that was so full of shame
But yo you got to know the name of the game

Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers

Now let me take a trip down memory lane
Back in public school with my partner Kane
When I was class clown, and he was my brother
Sittin' at the desk pluckin' boogers at each other
Never doin' work as we was supposed
'Cause we was too busy diggin' up our nose
And in the lunchroom you would talk about rude
God forbid the person that'd leave his food
No matter who you are we didn't give a damn
We even put teachers down with the program
Whether if it was a woman or if you're a man
We put boogers on our fingers then shake ya hand
Catch anyone from anywhere
But the best fun about it catchin' Kane out there
Especially when we playin' ball in the gym
I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him
Now we're grown up and things have changed
But we still be playin' the pickin' boogers game
Just last night, when Kane was gettin' ready
I slipped a little green one inside his spaghetti

Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers
Pickin' boogers

Let me tell you what happened to me with this girl

One night at Latin Quarters I was standin' at ease
I saw this gorgeous young lady that I wanted to skeez
I didn't show enough that I really did want it
So, no half steppin', I pushed up on it
Pulled out the gold cable and a knot that was phat
Had a spotlight beamin' on my BizMarck hat
But when she stepped in the light and she got real close
I saw a tiny weeny booger on the tip of her nose
She was dressed real def and her body was hooked
But that dried up booger just ruined her look
I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn't be bold
So I played if off and said "that's a cute green mole"
I was hopin' from that she would wipe it away
But she didn't do nothin' I guess she wanted it to stay
I said before you get my number, I don't mean to diss you
But write it in your hand because your gonna need the tissue