Dead Rappers

[Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
I'm being haunted by the ghosts of dead rappers from both coasts
Puttin out albums long after they've decomposed
So their lyrics are a little behind the times
But how do they get the dead to write rhymes?
Song after song on the radio I hear
is by a guy who died, in the yesteryear
But it's the best I hear of all the crap on the air
It's pretty sad when you compare it to those still breathin the air
I've been lookin for a deal since I wrote my first song
Now I finally realized what I've been doin wrong
It's not my cheesy beats or that my lyrics aren't strong
It's just the simple fact that I've been living too long!
Dead rappers got records flying off the shelf
So I might get a deal if I kill myself
That would pretty much guarantee more airplay
But I don't think that I'd be able to enjoy the extra pay
It blows me away what the dead are achieving
Silly me thought it'd be tough to rap without breathing
Don't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go
Look there's another dead rapper on the radio

[Hot Waffles]
Livin or not I gotta give 'em their props
They've been dead for years, but the rhymin don't stop
They'll be back, doesn't matter what the death report is
Throwin down and bein hard is now due to rigor mortis
That rapper died late last fall, he's still rotting in the hall
but now he's got gold records on the wall
It's the +Dawn of the Dead+, and the dead can rap
Still gettin paid while taking a dirt nap
In the store you hear the beats cranked high
You look the clerk in the eye and say, "Didn't that guy die?"
But their careers go on even though they're long gone
There's a signing next week out on Forest Lawn
Dead rappers got records on top of the charts
And all I got is a degree in liberal arts
That means that before I could ever be adored
I'd have to be full of formaldahyde and stiff as a board
I just can't believe what the dead are achieving
Like a rude houseguest who's just not leaving
It's another bonus for the record label CEO
Look - there's another dead rapper on the radio!

"He be passed on! He has ceased to be!
Homeboy has expired and gone to meet his maker!
This is a late rapper! They be stiff!
Bereft of life, O.G.s rest in peace!
Out! Metabolical processes are of interest only to historians!
My man has hopped the twig!
Mofo has shuffled off this mortal coil!
Running upside the curtain and joined the choir invisible!
In short, this.... is an EX-RAPPER!"

[Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
Scott LaRock has been dead for like fifteen years
So he'll probably do a video with Britney Spears
Every year we hear the news, there goes another one
Lined up on Death Row (Waffles: Now that's a +Big Pun+)
Big L, Biggie Smalls, all the big rappers get death's glance
so Buffy didn't stand a chance
And the record labels won't leave well enough alone
Cause you can't collect royalties on a tombstone
I got some advice for the folks who hate Eminem
Don't kill him, cause then you'll never get rid of him
They'll put out best, worst, and unreleased rhymes
Guest vocals and home videos until the end of time
Dead rappers got records flying off the shelf
So here's a toast to Jay-Z's health
And to Puff Daddy, uh, P-Diddy or whatever
Live long and prosper, hell, live forever!
Cause once they're dead, we won't ever be free
No R.I.P. for R.A.P.
Don't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go
Look - there's another dead rapper on the radio

[Outro]
Yo, dawg, that rapper's only mostly dead
There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead
Mostly dead is slightly alive
Well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do
(What's what, yo?)
Go through his clothes and look for the bling bling!