Never Argue with a German If You're Tired of European Song

I asked a German friend about these lyrics, and she said they weren't really words, just German-sounding phrases intended to sound as salacious as possible (Schticken in mine hachen...).

The lyrics is based on a real story: Grace Slick was in Germany in 1971, when she suffered a car accident.

"mine auto fairt ser schnell aber ess rast gegen mawen"

it means "Mein Auto fährt sehr schnell aber es rasst gegen Mauern",

in English "my car is very fast but is hits against the wall'.

but the rest doesn't make any sense, just a couple of german sounding words.

Okay, it's mostly nonsense (or sometimes phonetic) German and I don't speak German (although I took a couple of years in high school), but let's see what can be figured out.

First off, I'll take the word of the commenter who says there's a reference to slick's car accident.

Sticken in mine haken/sticken in mine haut

Sticken is, according to google translate, embroider, shaken is hook, haut is skin.

Best guess: Assuming this is about a car accident, this would probably be a reference to stitches.

fugen mine gas mit mine auss pucken

This is a tough line, with little translatable German. My guess is it's more germanized American for some cursing, which makes sense if she's been in an accident and is getting stitches.

straightem zee nicht mit einem duetschen venn zee mewden sint.

Since "nicht mit einem duetschen" is clearly "not with a German" I'm assuming this line translates to the title. Was she arguing with a German who was telling her not to drive so fast? Or with the Germans treating her after the accident?

From commenter: mine auto fairt ser/schnell aber ess rast/gegen mawen = "Mein Auto fährt sehr schnell aber es rasst gegen Mauern" = "my car is very fast but is hits against the wall'.

Ya das ben mine/ya das bin du/du das ben ich

This makes me think of the start of I am the Walrus (I am he as...). It would seem to be something like:

Yes that is me, yes that is you, you are I.

Perhaps they gave her a sedative and her thoughts were jumbled?

fair zuc ess

There's another one that makes more sense as Germanized English, in which case it would probably be "fair success." Perhaps a description of how well she was stitched up? Or her prognosis?

So:

They gave me stitches. F*ck me up the a**! I shouldn't have argued with the German while I was tired. My car is very fast but it hit against the wall. Yes that is me, yes that is you, you are I. Fair success.

I've known this song almost since its release, and despite the horribly incorrect German grammar and it's just being some kind of phonetic German, I, as a German, think I've got the general meaning of it. The song criticises something profound about the German mentality that is called dogmatism, stubbornness and at the same time Grace Slick expresses, that she isn't better than those Germans. Stuck in my throat: something makes you annoyed or impatient. Stuck my neck: you take a risk by saying or doing something that other people might not like. It's not so clear to me if she sings neck or throat. Stuck in my throat comes closer to a German idiom: If something seems ridiculous at first glance and you realise that it's a bad situation and you can't laugh because of the horror, then - they say - the laughter gets stuck in your throat.

It's stuck in my throat (neck) (stuck my neck out) (stuck in my throat) / It's stuck in my skin (it gets under my skin) / I release my butt cheeks to relax my brain (Fuc*k me up the a**) / Don't argue with a German if you're tired / My car drives very fast / But it crashes into walls /

Yes, that's me / Yes, that's you / You, you are me / try it

[Edit: perfection]

If I would translate the phonetic German of this song very freely in a German poem that makes sense, it would be something like this:

Es bleibt mir im Hals stecken / Es geht mir unter die Haut / Aber du kannst mich am Arsch lecken /

Streite nicht mit einem Deutschen, / wenn du müde bist / Ich mache so schnell ich kann / Aber ich bin von Mauern umgeben /

Ja, das bin Ich / Ja, das bist du / Du, du bist Ich /

Versuche mich zu verstehen