Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
There's a sign up in the yard
And the the furniture has gone
Filled with fetid memories
Unworthy of a song
Flashes of sad and angry faces come and go
Could anyone live between those walls and never know
And I could go there
But I'm not going
Pulse is slowing
No, I'm not nervous anymore
I've had the nightmares
I've seen some counsellors
But I'm not going
Back up in that house again
It's just like waking up
In that second and a half
The bliss of not remembering
Before it all comes flooding back
So what do I do as all these voices come and go
Could anyone live inside my head and never know
And I could go there
I'm not going
Pulse is slowing
No, I'm not nervous anymore
I've seen the nightmares
And some counsellors
I'm not going
Back up in that house again
In that house again
I'm not sorry
For what I'm feeling
Blow the walls out
Bring the ceiling to the ground
I've had the nightmares
Seen the counsellors
I'm not going
Back up in that house again
And the the furniture has gone
Filled with fetid memories
Unworthy of a song
Flashes of sad and angry faces come and go
Could anyone live between those walls and never know
And I could go there
But I'm not going
Pulse is slowing
No, I'm not nervous anymore
I've had the nightmares
I've seen some counsellors
But I'm not going
Back up in that house again
It's just like waking up
In that second and a half
The bliss of not remembering
Before it all comes flooding back
So what do I do as all these voices come and go
Could anyone live inside my head and never know
And I could go there
I'm not going
Pulse is slowing
No, I'm not nervous anymore
I've seen the nightmares
And some counsellors
I'm not going
Back up in that house again
In that house again
I'm not sorry
For what I'm feeling
Blow the walls out
Bring the ceiling to the ground
I've had the nightmares
Seen the counsellors
I'm not going
Back up in that house again
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A beautiful song. Ben Folds can't be beat.