Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
It was the first day
Back to school
Cuttin up in class
Actin like a tool
Friends are rollin in
We started talkin bout the summer
DJ saw Twilight
Bummer
I spoke up
And I asked my friends
"Are there any new girls? nines or tens?"
Hopin a few hotties
Had moved from other cities
And in walked this girl
With Tig 'Ol Bitties
Whoo
I can't believe my eyes
In a contest they'd win first prize
Double D, guarantee
I was checkin the size
It's like two beach balls in a shirt disguise
Or earth and mars
Havin some fun
Wait I take that back
It's like two of the sun
But at this point i let my mind run
And drifted off thinkin bout them Tig 'Ol Bitties
Hah, Tig 'Ol Bitties
Mount Fuji brought it's twin
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Two melons in a shirt
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
I put books in my lap
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Heads bobbin as she walks
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Oh my god!
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Kept trippin in class cuz of her dang breasts in a tiny white shirt
Boobs havin a fiesta
Later in lab
We were messin with test tubes
Couldn't keep my eyes off the new girls chest
Boobs!
Wasn't payin attention
Got busted
Had to serve detention
In biology
We talked about the bees
The best kinda bees
Boob-bees
Whoo
I can't believe my mind
I hold a pokerface to her two of a kind
With each step
Her breasts gettin redefined
I'm makin my move
I'm thinkin it's time
Oh snap
I'mma ask her to prom
And in my head
She responds "you're the bomb"
Feelin nervous
So I count to three
"I like your boobs, go to prom with me?"
Hah, Tig 'Ol Bitties
King kong boobs
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Great tracks of land
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Like my balls
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Real big
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Oh my god!
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
She said yes
So I'm gettin ready
Stain on my shirt
Mom's spaghetti
I pick her up
And I'm pretty sure
That she'll let me motor-boat like rrrrrr
I try to cop a feel once we get to school
She said "No touching, that's the rule"
Principal walks up on the scene
"It's time to announce prom king and queen
Your Favorite Martian and Tig 'Ol Bitties
Congratulations to you both on winning"
Time slowed down and she jumped for joy
When out of her dress jumped something more
Tissues flew and rained from the sky
Oh my god you stuff your shirt!?
Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt
Awwww fake 'Ol Bitties
Wow!
Fake 'Ol Bitties
You breakin my heart with
Fake 'Ol Bitties
You're crushin my dreams with
Fake 'Ol Bitties
Fake 'Ol Bitties
I can't believable it
Fake 'Ol Bitties
You really suck
Fake 'Ol Bitties
I can't believe you would do that
Fake 'Ol Bitties
Fake 'Ol Bitties
Why would you do that when you're just trying to get everyone's attention
Stuffed boobs! They're lies! Lies I tell you!
But you know I'm still down to make out if you
If you want to, want to come back with me
You know what, never mind
Back to school
Cuttin up in class
Actin like a tool
Friends are rollin in
We started talkin bout the summer
DJ saw Twilight
Bummer
I spoke up
And I asked my friends
"Are there any new girls? nines or tens?"
Hopin a few hotties
Had moved from other cities
And in walked this girl
With Tig 'Ol Bitties
Whoo
I can't believe my eyes
In a contest they'd win first prize
Double D, guarantee
I was checkin the size
It's like two beach balls in a shirt disguise
Or earth and mars
Havin some fun
Wait I take that back
It's like two of the sun
But at this point i let my mind run
And drifted off thinkin bout them Tig 'Ol Bitties
Hah, Tig 'Ol Bitties
Mount Fuji brought it's twin
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Two melons in a shirt
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
I put books in my lap
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Heads bobbin as she walks
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Oh my god!
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Kept trippin in class cuz of her dang breasts in a tiny white shirt
Boobs havin a fiesta
Later in lab
We were messin with test tubes
Couldn't keep my eyes off the new girls chest
Boobs!
Wasn't payin attention
Got busted
Had to serve detention
In biology
We talked about the bees
The best kinda bees
Boob-bees
Whoo
I can't believe my mind
I hold a pokerface to her two of a kind
With each step
Her breasts gettin redefined
I'm makin my move
I'm thinkin it's time
Oh snap
I'mma ask her to prom
And in my head
She responds "you're the bomb"
Feelin nervous
So I count to three
"I like your boobs, go to prom with me?"
Hah, Tig 'Ol Bitties
King kong boobs
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Great tracks of land
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Like my balls
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Real big
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Oh my god!
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
Tig 'Ol Bitties
She said yes
So I'm gettin ready
Stain on my shirt
Mom's spaghetti
I pick her up
And I'm pretty sure
That she'll let me motor-boat like rrrrrr
I try to cop a feel once we get to school
She said "No touching, that's the rule"
Principal walks up on the scene
"It's time to announce prom king and queen
Your Favorite Martian and Tig 'Ol Bitties
Congratulations to you both on winning"
Time slowed down and she jumped for joy
When out of her dress jumped something more
Tissues flew and rained from the sky
Oh my god you stuff your shirt!?
Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt
Awwww fake 'Ol Bitties
Wow!
Fake 'Ol Bitties
You breakin my heart with
Fake 'Ol Bitties
You're crushin my dreams with
Fake 'Ol Bitties
Fake 'Ol Bitties
I can't believable it
Fake 'Ol Bitties
You really suck
Fake 'Ol Bitties
I can't believe you would do that
Fake 'Ol Bitties
Fake 'Ol Bitties
Why would you do that when you're just trying to get everyone's attention
Stuffed boobs! They're lies! Lies I tell you!
But you know I'm still down to make out if you
If you want to, want to come back with me
You know what, never mind
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