Comfort Me

So, weird cosmic coincidence happened yesterday when i was talking to my ex seriously for the first time in over a year, hoping to get some advice, or words of comfort since we're trying to be "friends" again. And after talking for awhile, I realized that it wasn't comforting at all, and everything that was said to me was basically backhandedly saying it was my fault, that I did something, maybe without even knowing, to cause this to happen "again." Then someone posts this song on their blog, and I listen to it, and everything just makes sense in that moment. Ex also told me I have a "psychologist's approach to conversations," so here are my interpretations to what this song means:

"true life in haiku in balances of phrase out of the blue meaning shown to you"

This was my epiphany moment. Just like reading a haiku, sometimes real life conversations and things don't make sense, but it is usually always connected somehow. And suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, you make the connections and everything makes sense.

"what does sadness see the mirror has a mirror in its teeth that's what sadness sees"

I wanted comfort and understanding from my ex, and instead what I got was blame. And at first I was a little mad, because after everything, I still felt misunderstood. But then I realized, my ex was only reflecting what happened in our relationship. The sadness from our experiences was reflected in how my current situation was interpreted, and so what was reflected in the "advice" was how my ex viewed our relationship.

"big sky, tiny bird when the paragraph betrays the word big sky, tiny bird"

Not entirely sure about this stanza, but "big sky, tiny bird" may be referring to how if you focus on something so small, it might be the only thing you see, and you miss out on the whole picture. "When the paragraph betrays the word" - maybe that sometimes when you blow something up out of proportion, you lose the definition, what the relationship meant in the first place..?

"while you held me up i held my calendar out like a cup while you held me up"

I think this refers to how when someone is supposedly comforting you, and holding you up, and you still feel like something's missing. Holding something out like a cup is reminiscent of a beggar, begging for more money. A calendar represents time. So maybe pleading for more time? or to go back in time? I don't know.

"make it about me i want to hold the blame to guillotine make it all blame-free"

Obviously, I would interpret this as exactly how I felt last night. I wanted the conversation to be about me. That I was doing the right thing, and it was all going to work out in the end. I didn't want blame, like I had brought it on myself. I wanted my relationship with my ex to not be my fault. And I wanted my current situation to not be my fault. Because I didn't think it was. And I don't blame the other person in either situation either. Sometimes things just happen the way they happen, and no one's to blame. It's no one's fault, and I wanted to "make it all blame-free."

Needless to say, when my ex comforted me, it didn't bring me any comfort, actually.

you messed up this part of the lyrics up there:

True life in haiku And balances of phrase Out of the blue And meaning shown to you

it's not a haiku when written in four lines, sunshine...

Wow....just..wow.

"True life in haiku" "The meaning shown to you" (pretty sure on that one)

god this is wonderful. best off the new album.

those aren't the actual lyrics...

does she mean the fans, maybe? or like... the audience?

This song makes me think from the point of view of a young woman who's fallen in love with one of her good friends who happens not to be single. He might have feelings back, but he isn't in a position to be with her in any way. She's trying to get over him and she's miserable about it, he can tell she is upset and tries to help her, but he actually makes it harder for her. While she is trying to get over him she resorts to avoiding him, she feels alone and isolated from everyone else (especially her friends because he is a part of the collective group of friends), like a tiny bird in a big sky. Near the end she's so exasperated that she says to herself that she just wants it to be over, to do what she wants and be with him, and she'll take the blame for being a 'home-wrecker'. But she resolves in the end to stay quiet and deal with her feelings by herself, giving up avoiding him and becoming his friend again, being mature about the situation and just making peace with the fact nothing will ever happen between them.