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The Great Misconceptions of Me Lyrics
Welcome to the show the great finale's finally here
I thank you for coming into my theatre of fear
Welcome to the show, you're all witnesses you see
A privileged invitation to the last rights of me
Remember me? You can't save me
Mama you never needed me
No crimson king, look in my eye, you'll see
Mama I'm lonely, it's only me, only me
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million eyes, of a million
I am the prisoner of the paradise I dreamed
The idol of a million lonely faces look at me
Behind the mask of sorrow, four doors of doom behind my eyes
I've got their footprints all across my crimson mind
Long live, long live, long live the king of mercy
Long live, long live
There is no love, to shelter me
Only love, love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love, love set me free
I was the warrior, with an anthem in my soul
The idol of eight thousand lonely days of rage ago
And remember me when it comes your time to choose
Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true
Long live, long live, long live the king of mercy
Long live, long live
There is no love, to shelter me
Only love, love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love, love set me free
Red, crimson red, am I the invisible boy
The strap on my back
Red, crimson red, no I was never to be
Only one crimson son, no it never was me
Living in the limelight little did I know
I was dying in the shadows and the mirror was my soul
It was all I ever wanted, everything I dreamed
But the dream became my nightmare and no-one could hear me scream
With these six-strings, I make a noose
To take my life, it's time to choose
The headlines read of my suicide, of my suicide
Oh sweet silence, where is the sting
I am no idol, no crimson king
I'm the imposter, the world has seen
My father was the idol, it was never me
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million eyes
No love, to shelter me, only love
Love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love
Love set me free
I thank you for coming into my theatre of fear
Welcome to the show, you're all witnesses you see
A privileged invitation to the last rights of me
Remember me? You can't save me
Mama you never needed me
No crimson king, look in my eye, you'll see
Mama I'm lonely, it's only me, only me
The crimson idol of a million
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million eyes, of a million
The idol of a million lonely faces look at me
Behind the mask of sorrow, four doors of doom behind my eyes
I've got their footprints all across my crimson mind
Long live, long live
Only love, love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love, love set me free
The idol of eight thousand lonely days of rage ago
And remember me when it comes your time to choose
Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true
Long live, long live
There is no love, to shelter me
Only love, love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love, love set me free
The strap on my back
Red, crimson red, no I was never to be
Only one crimson son, no it never was me
I was dying in the shadows and the mirror was my soul
It was all I ever wanted, everything I dreamed
But the dream became my nightmare and no-one could hear me scream
With these six-strings, I make a noose
To take my life, it's time to choose
The headlines read of my suicide, of my suicide
I am no idol, no crimson king
I'm the imposter, the world has seen
My father was the idol, it was never me
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million eyes
Love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love
Love set me free
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I guess Blackie understood at this point that he was suffering from NPD. He did not get love, he could not feel love. "I was dying in the shadows and the mirror was my soul": His real self was hurt and had to invent a better self a mirror, an idol, to take away all these bad feelings that are difficult for someone with this condition to speak out. He might also think that if he become an idol (at the age of 22 - 8000 days) then he could get all the love he needed from his parents. Unfortunately, all these goes on subconscious level and he cannot hold his real self's mask anymore. His real self has no love and as he said "only love can set me free". Love could free his true self, but it is difficult when the idol is the wall between tem. It is shocking when he realizes that the idol he invented was everything his father wanted (not his true self). Finally, depression arrives, as his mirror hates his true self and the true self can not feel love. It is also interesting that he feels as an imposter (imposter sydrome is common in these situations). I hope one day he could actually throw away the idol, embrace his true self and feel as much love as he can.
The finale of "The Crimson Idol" is a whopper of a song, describing a broken and hopeless Jonathan, planning his great farewell, a final show where he is to commit suicide in front of thousands of fans using his guitar strings. The music begins as a solemn ballad, building to a crushing mid-section and settling back to a ballad. It rocks to all hell, and Blackie applies some clean and soulful vocals like he really hasn't done up until this point in his career.
There's real emotion here, and if you don't feel it you must be dead.