I guess Blackie understood at this point that he was suffering from NPD. He did not get love, he could not feel love. "I was dying in the shadows and the mirror was my soul": His real self was hurt and had to invent a better self a mirror, an idol, to take away all these bad feelings that are difficult for someone with this condition to speak out. He might also think that if he become an idol (at the age of 22 - 8000 days) then he could get all the love he needed from his parents. Unfortunately, all these goes on subconscious level and he cannot hold his real self's mask anymore. His real self has no love and as he said "only love can set me free". Love could free his true self, but it is difficult when the idol is the wall between tem. It is shocking when he realizes that the idol he invented was everything his father wanted (not his true self). Finally, depression arrives, as his mirror hates his true self and the true self can not feel love. It is also interesting that he feels as an imposter (imposter sydrome is common in these situations). I hope one day he could actually throw away the idol, embrace his true self and feel as much love as he can.
I guess Blackie understood at this point that he was suffering from NPD. He did not get love, he could not feel love. "I was dying in the shadows and the mirror was my soul": His real self was hurt and had to invent a better self a mirror, an idol, to take away all these bad feelings that are difficult for someone with this condition to speak out. He might also think that if he become an idol (at the age of 22 - 8000 days) then he could get all the love he needed from his parents. Unfortunately, all these goes on subconscious level and he cannot hold his real self's mask anymore. His real self has no love and as he said "only love can set me free". Love could free his true self, but it is difficult when the idol is the wall between tem. It is shocking when he realizes that the idol he invented was everything his father wanted (not his true self). Finally, depression arrives, as his mirror hates his true self and the true self can not feel love. It is also interesting that he feels as an imposter (imposter sydrome is common in these situations). I hope one day he could actually throw away the idol, embrace his true self and feel as much love as he can.