St. John

"So close I almost could taste my grave My moment of selfishness cause by your pain Almost threw this life you gave me away In this institution for you now I pray"

That part in particular makes me think it's about a suicide attempt. Whatever it's about, I'm definitely loving this one (:

St John was sent forth as a messenger from Jesus. Bearing that in mind, I think this song is about someone who is simply questioning their faith. For many years, they have believed & set their beliefs upon others, only to sit there one day and think "What the hell am I believing in? This is crazy!"

'This night is alive with the smell of insane It's reaching for me and it's calling my name I beg for silence to drown out their weep How did this asylum become where I sleep?' -- An asylum is a inviolable refuge, a sanctuary...she's sought asylum in the church and is wondering how the heck she ever got there in the first place. Sitting there whilst the priest is talking, she probably wonders why she is sitting through the service, listening to the insanity.

'So ashamed of waking All my life you failed to keep me safe My whole world's forsaken Won't let you destroy my faith again' - BUT, she feels ashamed of questioning it all. I'm sure some religious people have felt like this at least once, I know I have questioned my Christian faith at times. But then you feel dreadful, right? Yet still, you can't help it! She's ashamed of waking AKA ashamed of breaking out of the circle of christian belief, she's ashamed that the concept of not believing had ever entered her mind. She then worries that her whole life will be worth nothing if she does not believe, so she says to the devil that is tempting her to not believe "I won't let you destroy my belief in God again"

Notice how the lyrics say "mommy" - this shows how vulnerable she is, and also suggests that her parents had been the one who forced her to be so religious in the first place, never giving her a chance to choose to believe by herself. You find this happens a lot when kids have been flung into serious religious devotion from a young age, one day they suddenly question everything.

She then says how close she got to her grave...not literally, but how scared she got, thinking that because she had questioned her faith, she would not get the chance to be recieved in Heaven. But then she looks again and sees an 'instituion' - the church is just one big organisation of people being controlled by the words being said by the priest, yet she is still praying.

'orgive me With wings adorn me So I can fly' - She asks for forgiveness again though. She's really juggling this idea of faith and is not sure what to believe.

Does anyone know why this song is called St. John?

This song seems like it is slamming religion to me, hence the name St. John. "All my questions have no answers." "Forgive me. With wings adorn me, so I can fly." It seems to me religion was a big part of her life, but it failed to teach her anything and filled her with guilt and confusion, making her feel insane. Insanity is a theme of the song as well.

This has a definite Ben feel to it. A lot of his songs are based on dreams he has or stories that have just popped into his mind. I would say it's a forsaking of religion, or even St John's story as he may have told it.

There are two significant St. Johns in Catholicism. One is John the Baptist, and the other (most likely) is St John of God (Juan Ciudad) who after hearing a priest speak in his village had a revelation and a sudden insight into the Gospels; how different they were from those he had assumed up to that time. This profound religious experience led him to behave so radically that he was considered to be mad, and placed into an asylum. Not so bad these days, but we're talking the 1500s here!

Anywho, he spent about a year inside the institution, helping to improve the conditions of the other patients in any way that he could. From then onwards (the last ten years of his life) he devoted his time to caring for the sick and needy people in his village and established what has become known as 'the St John of God way of health care'. He was canonized a saint in 1690, declared patron of the sick and hospitals in 1886 by Pope Leo XIII and was named the Patron of Nurses by Pope Pius XI in 1930.

Also, here in Australia, we have the St John's Ambulance Service.

Carly Smithson said in an interview when the album was released St. John is about an insane asylum back in Ireland.

Maybe St. John by We Are The Fallen is about

 A girl who ends up in an Asylum, so other people are weeping and she doesn't want to hear cries because she is sad and does not want to be sad. 

She wants her mom to take her away from the asylum because she is terrified. She thinks she is dreaming this but she can't wake up from the nightmare. Her mom failed to protect her from the asylum. The asylum took her faith that she will get out and she won't let it do that again. Then she escaped from the asylum and attempts suicide. And maybe she prayed to die. But she doesn't die because she realizes suicide isn't the answer.. So she prayed for forgiveness. And the police find her and take her back to the asylum. She attempts suicide again and dies. She wants to be forgiven for killing herself so she can escape the nightmare. But she still isn't answered and not safe.